Is Nisha Sharma a trend-setter?

[LP]

The world needs more people like you.

thanQ! just doing my bit!
Dowry is one of the things i feel very strongly against, like 'casteism', 'reservations', 'religious fanaticism' and 'censorship'.

Of course CAD,who the hell wants censorship ?



Anyway we guys are supposed to be the educated ones...We should be the ones who set a good example to the illiterate,but I guess this would take some time....



As far cast is concerned,I dont think we can do anything about it.People are still ignorant.I heard that in Vijayawada,Reddy's dont drink Thumb Up's and Pepsi because Chiranjeevi and Pavan Kalyan model for them.... And I heard there is something else for kammas too.What the hell???

[CtrlAltDel]

I heard that in Vijayawada,Reddy's dont drink Thumb Up's and Pepsi because Chiranjeevi and Pavan Kalyan model for them.... And I heard there is something else for kammas too.What the hell???

i am not surpriced. telugu film heroes are often signed for films coz they belong to a certain caste and have caste based fan clubs......certain heroes who cant act for their life get roles coz of their caste affiliation...

[The Jackal]

certain heroes who cant act for their life get roles coz of their caste affiliation...

Never heard of this before...

[azazel]

explains why the telugu film industry isnt that big on the national scene.

[salamehyderabad]

bura nahi maanne ka public.... wat nisha sharma decided was absloutely gud and I really appreciate her boldness...but y did she do it at the mandap..she cud have just rejected the marriage rite away when the huge sum was asked as dowry. Wat was the reason that she cud not reject and y is tat she later exploded ? none to hurt folks.....

[azazel]

bura nahi maanne ka public....

hey man, as long as u dun step on ne1's toes, koi buraa nahee maanega!
chillax. ur points are appreciated

but y did she do it at the mandap..she cud have just rejected the marriage rite away when the huge sum was asked as dowry. Wat was the reason that she cud not reject and y is tat she later exploded ? none to hurt folks.....

good point. this will be helpful: However, the decision to call the cops was made when someone told her that the groom and his mother had beaten her father and spat on him. That was the last straw.



here's the link to where that came from:

http://www.the-week.com/23jun01/events8.htm

[Jaan]

it cud be a jackpot for fathers of girls!

Tell me about it! The brides' house is anyway OVERburdened. I have had the (mis)fortune of seeing a lot of shaadis as part of the duhlanwala people, and I can tell you it is unfair! This week my sisters wedding will InshaAllah be completed, anbd though the grrom wale aare very very nice people and didnt make even the slightest demand (not even for clothes for the bride!), even then hamari kamar toot rahi hai.

Here is the geneic list for the brides family (If they are NOT giving dowry):

1. Jewelry (50-60,000 to kahin nahoi gaye)

2. Clothes (again the going rate is about 30-40 suits)

3. Nikah Ceremony (In Hyd, expect to spend arounf 3 Lacs minimum)

4. The Special wedding dresses for the family wale (30-40 thous for these)

5. Almirah, Dressing table and Double Bed (Standard items, may put you back by atleast 40 thous)

6. Sundries, which can be more than the above things

I tell you it is not nice to be a dulhan wala. We are anyway giving the groom our girl, who is more precious to us than the whole earth and everything in it...

aww. it was sweet of you to say that of your sis!

impressive list, my best friend is getting married next fall in pakistan and i might go (i am hoping i will) and she talks of all the stuff for her nikah and pre and post ceremonies...lotta things



Jaan

[CtrlAltDel]

impressive list, my best friend is getting married next fall in pakistan and i might go (i am hoping i will) and she talks of all the stuff for her nikah and pre and post ceremonies...lotta things

...and u can hog on a wonderful spread.........dont count calories for a few days...

[Sharjeel]

aww. it was sweet of you to say that of your sis!
Jaan

And this is for Manal, who is just 20 and gets on me noirves ).



You're goin to Pakistan? For a wedding? I am sure you will have Fun!

[Bimbette]

I have a few friends from college who are getting married in a month's time. So far I've not heard of the dowry issue. (On second thoughts have never thought of asking them about this)



To the girls: If a guy has the gall to ask for dowry, he's not worth it. Period.

[CtrlAltDel]

If a guy has the gall to ask for dowry, he's not worth it. Period.

eggjaktly....



a guy shud be able to afford all his necessities (vehicle, furniture etc) by himself, else he shudn't be marrying in the first place. let him first earn enuf n save money to buy anything before marrying. demanding from dad-in-law is socially accepted begging and is like saying "i cant afford it, so please give them to me". real beggers are morally better coz they beg with humility and dont demand, unlike dowry seekers

[CtrlAltDel]

PS: i give a rat's arse if my opinions hurt any FHDBian....

[lonewolf]

Seriously I don't know why people have to make such a big issue out of Nisha Sharma and what she did.



Giving dowry is as wrong as taking dowry.. Hers was a case of grapes gone sour, more like a bad business deal.. One wrong move by the bridegroom's parents, and Nisha Sharma uses the "dowry" plank to throw him into jail. But what about the fact that she and her parents actually bought all the dowry items? Its just a case of sour grapes..



And FYI, I personally know of quite a few Indian girls who told the grooms to get lost... just an hour or two before their wedding, because of the rudeness of the dowry beggars (the groom and his parents).

[azazel]

real beggers are morally better coz they beg with humility and dont demand, unlike dowry seekers

uve gotto be kiddin me..

i do agree with ya there tho. this practise of making a mockery of a marriage has to be done away with.

[DQ]

Seriously I don't know why people have to make such a big issue out of Nisha Sharma and what she did.

Giving dowry is as wrong as taking dowry.. Hers was a case of grapes gone sour, more like a bad business deal.. One wrong move by the bridegroom's parents, and Nisha Sharma uses the "dowry" plank to throw him into jail. But what about the fact that she and her parents actually bought all the dowry items? Its just a case of sour grapes..

And FYI, I personally know of quite a few Indian girls who told the grooms to get lost... just an hour or two before their wedding, because of the rudeness of the dowry beggars (the groom and his parents).

Was it a case of Grapes gone Sour ?



Maybe she was going through all that considering that it is the way of life when it got far to ahead she realised that we need a change.

Cannot take anything and everything thinking that its the way of life.





As far as the argument goes about sour grapes. The idiom is used when you are getting something. When the girls side is loosing so much aren't the grapes a bit tooo sour from the begnning itself?

[Mayavi Morpheus]

For once I agree with DQ.



Fresh news:



Effects of Low Female to male ratio



AHMEDABAD: Woe betide bachelors in north Gujarat who don't have sisters - they will have to "buy" a bride and this has created an annual Rs 50 million industry in the region.



Three communities of caste Hindus in Mehsana, 74 km north of here, follow a AHMEDABAD: No fiction this. Men in north Gujarat purchase a bride and this has created an annual Rs 50 million industry in the region. tradition of 'Satta-Paddhati' in which the brother and sister of one family are married to the sister and brother of another family.



This is because of the low sex ratio of 779:1000 girls to boys. Households with a son but no daughter are thus forced to cast their net wide and pay exorbitant sums for brides, according to a survey conducted by Ahmedabad-based NGO Chetna - Centre for Health Education, Training and Nutrition Awareness.



"Because of the lowest sex ratios in Mehsana, boys who don't have sisters are not getting wives. There are thousands of eligible bachelors who are forced to remain unmarried because they don't have a sister to exchange," said social worker Rajshri Swaminarayan.

"This situation often results in parents buying wives for their boys," Swaminarayan said.



Explained Illa Vakharia of Chetna: "Buying wives has brought many evils along with it. Agents or pimps mint money on purchase of wives, and parents of wives ask for more money or else call their girls back home.



"In Mehsana alone, annually Rs 50 million is spent on purchasing wives who come from as far as south Gujarat and even out of the state," Vakharia said.



Ironically, development and literacy in Mehsana have contributed to the bias against the female child.



"Mehsana, with a literacy rate of 75.54 per cent and a relatively high per capita income and development level, continues to be plagued by the evils of female infanticide," said Vakharia.

[lonewolf]

Was it a case of Grapes gone Sour ?

Maybe she was going through all that considering that it is the way of life when it got far to ahead she realised that we need a change.
Cannot take anything and everything thinking that its the way of life.


As far as the argument goes about sour grapes. The idiom is used when you are getting something. When the girls side is loosing so much aren't the grapes a bit tooo sour from the begnning itself?

Well, you can interpret the story of the sour grapes in many ways. I interpret it this way : She (and her parents) tried to settle the marriage deal with increasing amounts of dowry. And things kept getting worse (with more demands and verbal abuses) as time progressed. So, at the end, she got pissed off and said "Ok I call it off. You guys are not worth it!" and then went on to complain against the groom and his parents.



But this dowry problem is a real serious issue as far as India is concerned. Everyday, we read reports in the news about new brides getting burnt alive or some freak accident. I've got tired of explaining to my non-Indian friends about what dowry is and why so many get killed or tortured daily in India.

[Arti]

bura nahi maanne ka public....

hey man, as long as u dun step on ne1's toes, koi buraa nahee maanega!
chillax. ur points are appreciated

but y did she do it at the mandap..she cud have just rejected the marriage rite away when the huge sum was asked as dowry. Wat was the reason that she cud not reject and y is tat she later exploded ? none to hurt folks.....

good point. this will be helpful: However, the decision to call the cops was made when someone told her that the groom and his mother had beaten her father and spat on him. That was the last straw.

here's the link to where that came from:
http://www.the-week.com/23jun01/events8.htm

So, she really stood up against the ill treatment of her father by her would be in-laws, not against the dowry system. In an interview she did say that she had gone shopping for her dowry or something to that effect. She wasn't against it at all. She stood up for a personal cause.



I have a neighbour who is a practising dentist. She is 23 or so and will get married in a month's time. When her wedding was being fixed, the groom's people did ask for a lot of money and the girl told her parents that she wanted to marry this guy so she could go to the US...and they could/should meet all demands of the groom's parents. She actually said that she didn't care how much they asked for...that was between the 2 sets of parents.



Seeing this, I can't see why we think this is a problem only with illiterate people.



On the other hand, my best friend is getting married soon too. Her parents thought they'd give the groom cash so he can buy himself a gift...at the engagement. It was really a small amount...but the groom's parents were firm that no money or expensive gifts would be exchanged. The groom's family, if I am not mistaken, is also sharing the wedding expense.



We're moving ahead...albeit slowly.

[CtrlAltDel]

I have a neighbour who is a practising dentist. She is 23 or so and will get married in a month's time. When her wedding was being fixed, the groom's people did ask for a lot of money and the girl told her parents that she wanted to marry this guy so she could go to the US...and they could/should meet all demands of the groom's parents. She actually said that she didn't care how much they asked for...that was between the 2 sets of parents.

:shock: WOW! words fail me.....

my best friend is getting married soon too. Her parents thought they'd give the groom cash so he can buy himself a gift...at the engagement. It was really a small amount...but the groom's parents were firm that no money or expensive gifts would be exchanged. The groom's family, if I am not mistaken, is also sharing the wedding expense.

nice to hear such stories..hope their tribe increases!

[Sharjeel]

I have a neighbour who is a practising dentist. She is 23 or so and will get married in a month's time. When her wedding was being fixed, the groom's people did ask for a lot of money and the girl told her parents that she wanted to marry this guy so she could go to the US...and they could/should meet all demands of the groom's parents. She actually said that she didn't care how much they asked for...that was between the 2 sets of parents.

Thats taking practicalility to a new extreme (depth).

my best friend is getting married soon too. Her parents thought they'd give the groom cash so he can buy himself a gift...at the engagement. It was really a small amount...but the groom's parents were firm that no money or expensive gifts would be exchanged. The groom's family, if I am not mistaken, is also sharing the wedding expense.

My family has a similar exerience with the (MashaAllah) wonderful in-laws of my chhoti sister. May God bless them and their like...

[Kavita]

Why is taking dowry being made so wrong?? Taking dowry isnt but DEMANDING it, beating wife, harassing inlaws for it, is 100% wrong.



Generally, father's wealth is distributed among sons, and daughter are not given a share. They get their share as dowry.



I know a family who did not take dowry, but heard that some time later wife started asking her husband to take dowry as people are asking her is there anything worng in him.



I know of many girls who compete with their sisters. Sis got more dowary than me, so give me more. I need TV, washing machine, etc etc. And I know some fathers who are so miser that they dont share their wealth even for their lone daughter.

[CtrlAltDel]

Why is taking dowry being made so wrong?? Taking dowry isnt but DEMANDING it, beating wife, harassing inlaws for it, is 100% wrong.

that is true in theory. if ppl stop taking or giving dowry, then there wud be no demands, violence etc over it. as long as the system is continued, there wud be abuses. it cant be avoided.

Generally, father's wealth is distributed among sons, and daughter are not given a share. They get their share as dowry.

that is true. so the girl shud inherit the wealth when the father dies, not take it during the marriage. i thot in AP atleast girls have been granted equal inheritence rights...didnt NTR pass that law?

wife started asking her husband to take dowry as people are asking her is there anything worng in him.

:lol: i heard that explanation from many friends. they said if they dont take dowry, ppl wud talk that they are impotent or have some mysterious disease...etc...

I know of many girls who compete with their sisters. Sis got more dowary than me, so give me more. I need TV, washing machine, etc etc.

:roll: all kinds ppl populate this world...

[Arti]

Why is taking dowry being made so wrong?? Taking dowry isnt but DEMANDING it, beating wife, harassing inlaws for it, is 100% wrong.

that is true in theory. if ppl stop taking or giving dowry, then there wud be no demands, violence etc over it. as long as the system is continued, there wud be abuses. it cant be avoided.

Generally, father's wealth is distributed among sons, and daughter are not given a share. They get their share as dowry.

that is true. so the girl shud inherit the wealth when the father dies, not take it during the marriage. i thot in AP atleast girls have been granted equal inheritence rights...didnt NTR pass that law?

wife started asking her husband to take dowry as people are asking her is there anything worng in him.

:lol: i heard that explanation from many friends. they said if they dont take dowry, ppl wud talk that they are impotent or have some mysterious disease...etc...

I know of many girls who compete with their sisters. Sis got more dowary than me, so give me more. I need TV, washing machine, etc etc.

:roll: all kinds ppl populate this world...

This entire wealth thing is so new to me. But this is the kind of argument I've had with people ever since I moved to Hyd. I've had people arguing with me about how parents must support their children. I somehow don't buy that at all. Why can't people learn to be self sufficient? Why should one assume that the father's wealth must be equally divided? Legally, one can choose to do whatever one wants with money earned in one's lifetime. So, in my opinion, taking dowry is the equivalent of degrading oneself... selling oneself... owning up to the rest of the world that one is really not capable of earning one's living and supporting oneself and one's family!!!

[CtrlAltDel]

in my opinion, taking dowry is the equivalent of degrading oneself... selling oneself... owning up to the rest of the world that one is really not capable of earning one's living and supporting oneself and one's family!!!

exactly my opinion too! i have said the same thing a 100 times in these fora and am glad to see someone else voicing the same!

[Arti]

I know of many girls who compete with their sisters. Sis got more dowary than me, so give me more. I need TV, washing machine, etc etc. And I know some fathers who are so miser that they dont share their wealth even for their lone daughter.

That's the father's prerogative. If the girl needs a washing machine or a TV, I think she can go and buy it from the market. And the girl telling her husband to ask for dowry... she probably suffers from some kind of psycho problem... and this speaks volumes about her!