help needed

[Radha krishna]

HELP NEEDED SOS

I am very depressed now days.

Nobody is talking to me in social gatherings properly. I have to go and initiate the conversation with them. Junior colleagues do not just take my instructions. They show obvious hesitation over my face on my instructions. Some times the situation becomes terrible. Some senior ass holes suddenly turn their face away from me. In daily work routines, some senior fellows constantly throw abusive wordings towards me. Ultimate to all, one day my senior colleague kept on talking to my junior person, not giving me even single chance to express. You know I am keeping my mind frozen because I need to retain the job.

Another terrible point to share, I do not receive reply SMS for the messages which I am sending to the majority. Sometimes they do not even pick up my calls.

If I see a new person, he will talk to me nicely in the first day. However, as the days pass his affection narrows down and start treat me like a stranger. Why this happens?

You know I am a sincere person in my duties. I will say up to 80% of sincerity. I finish my allotted works with some lateness. That is not because of shaming but for the fear of not committing any mistakes.

Why the society is treating me like shit? Why this happens? In general, I am leading an aloof life. They create groups, go to movies, and go to canteens. I find nobody. I want to come out of this. How can I achieve this, and what to do?

I am unable to get healthy friends. All I discuss with you is true, alive through which I am going passing daily. This fact may be due to the very high headedness of my social group. Because they are, earning high remuneration with perks and benefits. You know am a time bound staff. They are not so. I want to lead normal living under such scenario. Please deeply go through these and help me out nicely. Please



All full Hyderabad intellectuals please analyze deep in to the topic and deliver proper solution.

[asli_badmash]

Actually you are doing just fine.



But you have to learn to take rejections. Everybody gets rejected one way or the other. The only difference is people take it in the stride and move on to better things rather than get stuck in the rut. While you are going about in circles over peoples response to you... something that you dont have control on.



Looks like you are a nice person but your estimation of self is based on the response you get from the people around you. Your self-worth should be based on what you think about yourself.. not what other people think about you. There is always going to be people who dont think much about you. The important point is to have like minded friends who can give you the positive approvals you are looking for.



The question you have to ask yourself is.. does this persons opinion about me matters. If yes than you should try to find ways to better yourself... else you should stop worrying about pissing people off and be yourself.

[Jaan]

The Dr. has spoken.

Bravo, bravo *claps*



Jaan

[asli_badmash]

The Dr. has spoken.
Bravo, bravo *claps*
Jaan

Just my humble opinion... But Jaan please do enlighten us with what you think about this. Since we have been given the liscense to practice anyway.



But thank you so much... I cant tell you how good I feel about this. Why do I have a disticnt feeling that you are the only one who gets what I want to say. Time and again you have proven it and now I seem to get it.



Thank you so much.

[Jaan]

Allright, Dr. Badmash. My diagnosis of the patient is as follows:



Diagnosis: Depression.



Important External Factors:

1. No social life in gatherings.

2. No respect from his juniors.

3. No recognzition from his seniors.

4. Lack of communication (example: no replies to his enquiries)



Important Internal Factors:

1. Cannot maintain new relationships.

2. Pessimistic views of the society.

3. Cannot handle peer pressure and stressful conditions.

4. Is not adaptable to change (i.e. has to retain job).



Environment Conditions: Hostile.



Recommended Actions:

1. Find a new job.

2. Find new people who are interested in the same things that you are in.

3. Boost self-esteem through various activities (i.e. if you were fond of painting or gardening etc start those activities again).

4. Seek new environments to meet people (join a book club, go to a party, have your neighbors over for house-warming).

5. Do something nice for yourself as often as you can (preferably each day), i.e. buy yourself that new shirt you wanted, call up that old friend you forgot.

6. Read books. There are several books on how to manage your workplace and how to get ahead in extreme conditions etc.



Final Notes:

(Dr. Badmash has gone over a few)

It might seem like, there are times when the world conspires against you, don't let that deter you from your goals. Remember that the world never adopts you, rather you adopt and adapt to it. You are trying to assimilate yourself with people that are on a different level and a different plane of thought. What you are going through can be summarized as a mid-life crisis.



Bad days and times happen to everyone, how you deal with it is what sets you apart. Be mature about things and accept the ways of the world to some extent. Don't be overwhelmed by situations and hope to make dramatic changes to make it all go away. It is not that simple.



You ask us "to think deeply about this," know that no one knows you better than yourself. I think I have typed enough on this matter right now.



May you see better days ahead.



Jaan

[azazel]

aha, now thts what i call problem solving. good job u 2. n remember Krishna, if all else fails[hopefully it wont], ur always welcome here. just follow the advice u got n everything'll be just fine.

[The Jackal]

Nice advise Jaan and AB.You guys covered everything.Yup,and Krishna just follow their advise.

[mysterious babe]

wow...that was real good AB and jaan...so nxt time i need advice i know whom to ask...............



I m sure this should help radha krishna..........all problems in our life are a passing phase...nothing lasts forever.....its just that we need to keep a positive frame of mind......we need to give it our best so that when we look back we should not regret anything that we have done or say i could have done better.....

[Sharjeel]

aha, now thts what i call problem solving. good job u 2. n remember Krishna, if all else fails[hopefully it wont], ur always welcome here. just follow the advice u got n everything'll be just fine.

I second that.



Very nice and prompt of you two Jaan and AB!

[Jaan]

Thanks everyone!

Let's hope that RK can move on to his recovery soon.



Jaan

[R.Krishna]

Hi Jaan, thanks for your healing words. You must be a professional.[/quote]

[The Jackal]

Hi Jaan, thanks for your healing words. You must be a professional.

[asli_badmash]

Thanks everybody...



I think Jaan was awesome with her disection of the situation.