Is Nisha Sharma a trend-setter?

by **Smocking Rock** » Sun May 25, 2003 9:11 pm

A simple girl taking a bold decision, by sending her would be husband to prison on demanding dowry, has certainly changed her life in a spur of moment - feminists, politicans all are approching her. But do u think she will become a trend setter for others.

by b. » Mon May 26, 2003 1:26 am

this lady\'s got class and courage to react and stand up at the right moment (nick of the moment)
b., 22 May 2003, reply
please see my board \"suyemwar nisha style\"

by **upma pesarattu** » Mon May 26, 2003 9:59 am

i read news that the guys parents say that the girl had an affir with someone lese, did anyone read more news in that direction. am not against her, but there was a case a decade or more ago. a girl was raped in a train and after investigaton they concluded that the girl wasnt raped !! ull never know the truth !!

by **Smocking Rock** » Mon May 26, 2003 6:05 pm

Hey Upma, i didn\'t heard this, may be it\'s true or may be it\'s not, but do you know that she has been approached by about 50 people saying that they will marry her without taking any dowry.

by **Smocking Rock** » Wed May 28, 2003 6:41 pm

The only thing we can learn from this is \" Don\'t be too greedy about money\", if that guy married Miss. Nisha Sharma he would have made a cool money (Upto Rs. 15,00,000 including all ACs, Tvs vagera... vagera...). This only tells that she wasn\'t against dowry, but she was fed about the large sum they were asking.

by DQ » Wed Sep 29, 2004 1:14 pm

Smocking Rock wrote: The only thing we can learn from this is " Don't be too greedy about money", if that guy married Miss. Nisha Sharma he would have made a cool money (Upto Rs. 15,00,000 including all ACs, Tvs vagera... vagera...). This only tells that she wasn't against dowry, but she was fed about the large sum they were asking.

Could be, or probably she was in doubts.

And at the mandap she decided that no, this is not the

1. Right thing to do.

2. Right guy to marry.

3. Right place to be.

This also shows, millions of women who do not have the courage go through this hell.

Just when 100s of people have arrived, some one comes with a suggestion, "woh fridge 200 lts ka rehta to accha hota :-O"

The brides parents, "Ok badal denge, aab bakheda mat khada kijiye."

"Shaadi ke baad to aap ki beti hamari hogayi, phir adla badla kya, jo bhi hain abhi kar do, sirf fridge hi nahi, bed head suit nahi karta, ladka multi national company me hain, aab scooter pe thodi jaayega, Car ho jaati to kuch baat thi."

The brides father " Ok ok, 2 lakh aur de donga, meri ijjat ka khayal rakho"

At times the poor bride does not even know whats happening behind the scenes.

ANY WAY. GOOD NEWS

A young bride who became the talk of India 16 months ago for calling off her wedding and getting her fiance arrested after he demanded more dowry money, has now made it on to the school curriculum.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3696562.stm

by **marko** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 2:19 pm

doing a bit of thread archaeology DQ?

by **azazel** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 8:06 pm

well, atleast he had a valid reason for it. i again applaud Mrs.Nisha Sharma

for her actions. ive seen both sides of the dowry drama, ppl bowing to demands n ppl being brave enuff to tell the demanding party to shove it! it takes lotsa guts in this society to do that, they should be proud of themselves.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 11:02 pm

azazel wrote:it takes lotsa guts in this society to do that, they should be proud of themselves.

yes I agree....Nisha shud be an example for all girls in India. all the shameless _ who take dowry shud be treated this way

on my part....since about 3 years i have made it a point NOT to attend weddings where i know dowry is being exchanged...even if its the wedding of a close friend.

by **azazel** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 11:39 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:on my part....since about 3 years i have made it a point NOT to attend weddings where i know dowry is being exchanged...even if its the wedding of a close friend.

does it help? i dun think so. the problem is such that a revolution only can turn things around. Mrs.Nisha Verma could hopefully be the spark that ignites the fire that'll clean up the dowry-jungle :twisted:

by **CtrlAltDel** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 11:48 pm

azazel wrote:does it help? i dun think so.

wat else can i do? my community has no dowry tradition for me to fight againt...and i cant force others to accept my views....

by **azazel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 12:06 am

CtrlAltDel wrote:wat else can i do? my community has no dowry tradition for me to fight againt...and i cant force others to accept my views....

well, i guess u have a clean conscience.

keep encouraging ppl against it tho..

by **asli_badmash** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:32 am

According to the new Census.. with a dwindling female to male ratio; its only fair for the father of the Bride to demand for money when he marries his daughter off.

BTW; Punjab and Hryana have the lowest Female to Male ratio. For every 800 females - 1000 males.

Ther are some villages in Rajisthan which dont have any female child in the new generation and Men are turning GAY! :lol:

The gay part might be an Urban Legend but I did see a report on Zee news about this.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 12:40 pm

asli_badmash wrote:its only fair for the father of the Bride to demand for money when he marries his daughter off.

thats the original custom...dunno when it got twisted around to enable grooms to demand money... :roll:

thats also makes sense in the current situation....scarcity makes way for higher price...so brides have to demand money now since they are lesser in number

it cud be a jackpot for fathers of girls!

by **Sharjeel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 1:05 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:it cud be a jackpot for fathers of girls!

Tell me about it! The brides' house is anyway OVERburdened. I have had the (mis)fortune of seeing a lot of shaadis as part of the duhlanwala people, and I can tell you it is unfair! This week my sisters wedding will InshaAllah be completed, anbd though the grrom wale aare very very nice people and didnt make even the slightest demand (not even for clothes for the bride!), even then hamari kamar toot rahi hai.

Here is the geneic list for the brides family (If they are NOT giving dowry):

1. Jewelry (50-60,000 to kahin nahoi gaye)

2. Clothes (again the going rate is about 30-40 suits)

3. Nikah Ceremony (In Hyd, expect to spend arounf 3 Lacs minimum)

4. The Special wedding dresses for the family wale (30-40 thous for these)

5. Almirah, Dressing table and Double Bed (Standard items, may put you back by atleast 40 thous)

6. Sundries, which can be more than the above things :shock:

I tell you it is not nice to be a dulhan wala. We are anyway giving the groom our girl, who is more precious to us than the whole earth and everything in it...

by **CtrlAltDel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 1:34 pm

Sharjeel wrote:the grrom wale aare very very nice people and didnt make even the slightest demand

...i used to think Muslims dont have the dowry system and bride is paid a meher instead, till i saw a marriage of a muslim girl i know breakup coz enuf dowry was not paid... :shock:

....

by **Sharjeel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 1:43 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:...i used to think Muslims dont have the dowry system and bride is paid a meher instead, till i saw a marriage of a muslim girl i know breakup coz enuf dowry was not paid.......

It is shocking. Especially in Hyderabad.

Used to tell my friends in Nagpur about the way people in Hyde pay dowry and they laughed at me thinking ke main phek raha hoon. Brides wale pay in Truckloads here (literally!).

Have you heard about the List system? Shame on these beggars.

by LP » Thu Sep 30, 2004 2:54 pm

I heard that guys from overseas(NRI's) take a huge amount of dowry....is this true? :?:

by **CtrlAltDel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 8:15 pm

LP wrote:I heard that guys from overseas(NRI's) take a huge amount of dowry....is this true?

yes...its true...the further u r from India, the higher your sale price... :roll:

....at least among telugus its true...dunno abt others

by **Sharjeel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 8:20 pm

I have heard of shocking stories from my Telugu friends also. They say that the Grooms are sold by the degrees, jobs. Foriegn settled people have very high value.

My telugu friend had a tag of 2 Crores as he was already an engineer, and depending upon his MBA and a job, the price would go upto about 5 Crores. He himself said this, even tho it is hard to blive.

by LP » Thu Sep 30, 2004 8:41 pm

Sharjeel wrote::shock:
I have heard of shocking stories from my Telugu friends also. They say that the Grooms are sold by the degrees, jobs. Foriegn settled people have very high value.

My telugu friend had a tag of 2 Crores as he was already an engineer, and depending upon his MBA and a job, the price would go upto about 5 Crores. He himself said this, even tho it is hard to blive.

Thats kind of sick.I mean its like a buisness.A tag.What the hell....Its like a damn supermarket :evil:

.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 8:46 pm

Sharjeel wrote:He himself said this

thats ^^^ the most shocking thing. the shameless _ boast abt their rates and other _ in his circle envy him :shock:

or boast about their higher rates. its so sick i generally diss them right their or move away.

i have lost many friends coz i am always against their taking dowry...but what the hell...i dont want to be friends with ppl who dont have an iota of self respect.

begging for money from dad-in-law is considered a matter of pride... :shock:

sheesh!

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:01 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:
asli_badmash wrote:its only fair for the father of the Bride to demand for money when he marries his daughter off.
thats the original custom...dunno when it got twisted around to enable grooms to demand money...

thats also makes sense in the current situation....scarcity makes way for higher price...so brides have to demand money now since they are lesser in number
it cud be a jackpot for fathers of girls!

I fear that we would go back to kanyasullkam days. Girls will be married off to highest bidder and not most eligible groom. These days its the opposite, girls are married off to lowest bidder.

Low female to male ratio may play a part in getting rid of dowry and also help in uniting people of all caste, region and langauge. We are already witnessing the change. Atleast 40 telugu women (all poor and cant afford dowry) were married to grooms from rajasthan (mostly landlords), where there is acute shortage of women, in last two years. Most of these women are from around Vizag area and the police have investigated whether the marriages are real or just flesh trade. They found that most of the grooms were treating their wives normally.

But then they may be just lucky. Other men from rajasthan too married outside their village and caste, but their families couldnt afford reverse dowry to procure brides for all the sons (usually three or four). So they just pay for one women and everyone 'lives' with her and the women are mostly chained so that they dont run away. The marriage is just for procreation. Atleast two such cases have come into light last year.

by **Sharjeel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:59 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:i have lost many friends coz i am always against their taking dowry...but what the hell...i dont want to be friends with ppl who dont have an iota of self respect.

Hats off to You. Takes a lot of guts to take a stand and stick with it. Your action reminds me of a wonderful Surah from The Quran:

Wal asr. Innal insaana lafi khusr. Illaal ladzeena aamanuu wa amiluus saalihaati wa tawaasaw bil haqqi wa tawaasaw bis sabr.

This verse explains that against time (Asr), man is always at a loss. Except those who have faith and do righteous deeds; those who stand by (and teach) the Truth and are patient when they enounter Hardships while they stick to Righteousness.

It is one thing to agree with the truth, and it is quite another to stand by it, ignoring the trade-offs/losses. The world needs more people like you.

Mayavi Morpheus wrote:Low female to male ratio may play a part in getting rid of dowry and also help in uniting people of all caste, region and langauge.

Right, but if we take your theory a bit further, then the world population will anyway to dwindle to such an extent that money and food and water are not so important (couple this with scientific discoveries/inventions). All speculation really...

by **CtrlAltDel** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 11:58 pm

Sharjeel wrote:The world needs more people like you.

thanQ!

just doing my bit!

Dowry is one of the things i feel very strongly against, like 'casteism', 'reservations', 'religious fanaticism' and 'censorship'.

Is Nisha Sharma a trend-setter?