Hello Cool Hydi's, Full Hydi's, FH lords, Dear "GOD", Special Users, Mortals, Unregistered Users, Netizens,
Good Morning.
This is the place to dump all your Dilbertits, Office Humor, likes of "All in a days work" / "Humor in Uniform" etc of Reader's Digest.
Hail the Procrastinators.
-rc
Humor
Moderator: The Moderator Team
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Humor
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
-
Definately Dilbert - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 675
- Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 5:19 pm
- Location: 6.5th Floor
Definately Dilbert
A Red Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure chief, comin right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for upper management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot some crap, leave mess for others to clean up.........disappear for rest of day!!"
He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure chief, comin right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for upper management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot some crap, leave mess for others to clean up.........disappear for rest of day!!"
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
-
Red Combat - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 675
- Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 5:19 pm
- Location: 6.5th Floor
I messed it up 
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
-
Red Combat - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 675
- Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 5:19 pm
- Location: 6.5th Floor
kyon kya hua?
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
-
akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
CUP Holder
HelpDesk: Good morning, Technical Support, how can we help you?
End User: My cupholder is broken.
HelpDesk: I beg your pardon?
End User: My cupholder is broken. I've just put a fresh cup of coffee into it and its broken right off. Can you give me a replacment?
(the HelpDesk techie is justifiably puzzled by this).
HelpDesk: Erm... we don't normally support things like this. Did you get it from a sales rep., or at a trade exhibition, or...?
End User: No, it's built into the front of my computer.
(the HelpDesk techie is now really puzzled by this).
HelpDesk: Oh. Right. Well, can you describe it to me?
End User: Erm... well, okay. It's kind of like a tray that comes out of the front of my PC, with a hole in it for my coffee cup.
HelpDesk: (Stifling a laugh) And does it say anything on the front of this "cupholder"?
End User: Yes, it says "16x"
HelpDesk: (Just about wetting himself) That's not a cupholder, sir. That's your PCs CD ROM drive!
End User: Oh. No-one ever told me I had one of those. Can you give me a new one anyway then?
End User: My cupholder is broken.
HelpDesk: I beg your pardon?
End User: My cupholder is broken. I've just put a fresh cup of coffee into it and its broken right off. Can you give me a replacment?
(the HelpDesk techie is justifiably puzzled by this).
HelpDesk: Erm... we don't normally support things like this. Did you get it from a sales rep., or at a trade exhibition, or...?
End User: No, it's built into the front of my computer.
(the HelpDesk techie is now really puzzled by this).
HelpDesk: Oh. Right. Well, can you describe it to me?
End User: Erm... well, okay. It's kind of like a tray that comes out of the front of my PC, with a hole in it for my coffee cup.
HelpDesk: (Stifling a laugh) And does it say anything on the front of this "cupholder"?
End User: Yes, it says "16x"
HelpDesk: (Just about wetting himself) That's not a cupholder, sir. That's your PCs CD ROM drive!
End User: Oh. No-one ever told me I had one of those. Can you give me a new one anyway then?
-
DQ - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1344
- Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2004 10:59 am
mein Topic ko "Definately Dilbert" naam dena chahta tha. Galti ho gayee mamuakhilis2cool wrote:kyon kya hua?
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
-
Red Combat - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 675
- Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 5:19 pm
- Location: 6.5th Floor
-
Red Combat - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 675
- Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 5:19 pm
- Location: 6.5th Floor
I think this is an old one..but nevertheless....
Two-Minute Management Training
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson -
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson -
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped ! some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing himout! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson ?
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Two-Minute Management Training
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson -
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson -
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped ! some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing himout! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson ?
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
<I>-Every Day's a Holiday</I>
-
Red Combat - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 675
- Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 5:19 pm
- Location: 6.5th Floor
9 posts
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