Humor...or something like it.
Moderator: The Moderator Team
Mischievous_M wrote:How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
the amount of wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
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rock_26iin - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6111
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:42 pm
- Location: L0ST !N $PACE
VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it
- Mischivous_M
- Registered User
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 2:32 pm
Check out this song .....its good....indeed very good
http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/gkumar/W ... oIndia.htm
http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/gkumar/W ... oIndia.htm
- Mischivous_M
- Registered User
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 2:32 pm
A rabbit was hopping through the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling
a joint.
The rabbit said, "Giraffe, don't do drugs. Come, run with me through the
forest."
The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint
and ran off with the rabbit. They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine.
The Rabbit said, "Elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the
forest."
The elephant looked at his razor blade and mirror, tossed them away and
began running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then came across a lion about to shoot up.
The Rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the
forest."
The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle
and started to beat up the rabbit.
Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked, "Lion, why are you doing this? He
was trying to help you.
The lion answered, "This little f****r? He makes me run around the forest
like a f***ing idiot every time he's on "ecstasy."
a joint.
The rabbit said, "Giraffe, don't do drugs. Come, run with me through the
forest."
The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint
and ran off with the rabbit. They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine.
The Rabbit said, "Elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the
forest."
The elephant looked at his razor blade and mirror, tossed them away and
began running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then came across a lion about to shoot up.
The Rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the
forest."
The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle
and started to beat up the rabbit.
Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked, "Lion, why are you doing this? He
was trying to help you.
The lion answered, "This little f****r? He makes me run around the forest
like a f***ing idiot every time he's on "ecstasy."
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'" -Homer Simpson
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romu - Registered User
- Posts: 235
- Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2004 8:38 pm
- Location: shehar
lame humor
Q : What shampoo do u use??
bakra : xyz
Q : ok, n what do u use for the scalp??
bakra : wtf??
Q n bakra :
bakra : xyz
Q : ok, n what do u use for the scalp??
bakra : wtf??
Q n bakra :
nolite arbitrari quia venerim mittere pacem in terram non veni pacem
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azazel - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 5437
- Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2004 8:26 pm
- Location: Chaosphere
I think u guys must have read it before....
Wats The biggest tragedy of devdas????
bechara devdas....has two girls loving him and both sing in chorus...
Hey o la re doola re doolare do la Dildola re dola dola re......
Wats The biggest tragedy of devdas????
bechara devdas....has two girls loving him and both sing in chorus...
Hey o la re doola re doolare do la Dildola re dola dola re......
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
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akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
Lying down on the psychiatrist's couch, the Raj said to the doctor, "I wanted to see you because I think I am gay."
"Oh?" said the doctor. "And what makes you think that?"
"Well, my grandfather was gay, and so was my father."
"That doesn't mean you're gay," said the psychiatrist. "We don't believe that homosexuality is hereditary."
"Maybe not, but my two brothers are also gay."
"Really?" said the doctor, intrigued.
"That's right. And so are my two uncles and my cousin."
"That IS uncanny," said the psychiatrist, his interest greatly piqued.
"Tell me, isn't there anyone in your family who has sex with women?"
"Yes, sir," Raj said. "My sister..."
"Oh?" said the doctor. "And what makes you think that?"
"Well, my grandfather was gay, and so was my father."
"That doesn't mean you're gay," said the psychiatrist. "We don't believe that homosexuality is hereditary."
"Maybe not, but my two brothers are also gay."
"Really?" said the doctor, intrigued.
"That's right. And so are my two uncles and my cousin."
"That IS uncanny," said the psychiatrist, his interest greatly piqued.
"Tell me, isn't there anyone in your family who has sex with women?"
"Yes, sir," Raj said. "My sister..."
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
oh no
not Raj agn
not Raj agn
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
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akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "That might be OK in California, but we'll have none of that shit in Texas"
An American tourist in London found himself desperately needing to go to the toilet. After a long search he just couldn't find any public toilet to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business.
Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up. "Look here, Sir, what are you doing?" the officer asked. "I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta go." "Well, you can't do that here, Sir" the officer told him. "Please, follow me."
The tourist was surprised when police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "whiz away Sir." The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started urinating on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief.
Then turning toward the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this a special British courtesy?" "No, Sir" retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."
After a long night of making passionate love with the girl of his dreams this guy rolls over and notices a framed picture of another man on the night stand by the bed. Naturally, the guy begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" He said hoping to be reassured. "No. no. no!!!" She said.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy...
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the surgery."
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "That might be OK in California, but we'll have none of that shit in Texas"
An American tourist in London found himself desperately needing to go to the toilet. After a long search he just couldn't find any public toilet to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business.
Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up. "Look here, Sir, what are you doing?" the officer asked. "I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta go." "Well, you can't do that here, Sir" the officer told him. "Please, follow me."
The tourist was surprised when police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "whiz away Sir." The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started urinating on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief.
Then turning toward the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this a special British courtesy?" "No, Sir" retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."
After a long night of making passionate love with the girl of his dreams this guy rolls over and notices a framed picture of another man on the night stand by the bed. Naturally, the guy begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" He said hoping to be reassured. "No. no. no!!!" She said.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy...
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the surgery."
In un foro nella terra, viva un hobbit
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Habitual Perfectionist - Level 1 Lord
- Posts: 2527
- Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2003 4:28 am
- Location: Omnipresent
Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
'Hello?', says a little girl's voice.
'Hi, honey, it's Daddy', says Bob. 'Is Mummy near the phone'?
'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank'.
After a brief pause, Bob says, 'But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!'
'Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mummy!'
'Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do ... put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mummy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house'.
'Okay, Daddy'.
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. 'Well, I did what you said, Daddy!'
And what happened?'
'Well, Mummy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead'.
'Oh, my God .... and what about Uncle Frank?'
'He jumped out of bed with no clothes on, too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgotten that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead, too'.
There is a long pause, then Bob says ...........'Swimming pool'? Is this 854-7039?!!!'
'Hello?', says a little girl's voice.
'Hi, honey, it's Daddy', says Bob. 'Is Mummy near the phone'?
'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank'.
After a brief pause, Bob says, 'But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!'
'Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mummy!'
'Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do ... put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mummy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house'.
'Okay, Daddy'.
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. 'Well, I did what you said, Daddy!'
And what happened?'
'Well, Mummy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead'.
'Oh, my God .... and what about Uncle Frank?'
'He jumped out of bed with no clothes on, too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgotten that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead, too'.
There is a long pause, then Bob says ...........'Swimming pool'? Is this 854-7039?!!!'
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
After making love, what are you tryin to say?
I love u?
Wrong!
One more time?
Wrong!
You are so pretty?
Wrong!
I'm so tired?
Wrong!
The answer is,
Tissue...tissue... plezz plzzz !!!
I love u?
Wrong!
One more time?
Wrong!
You are so pretty?
Wrong!
I'm so tired?
Wrong!
The answer is,
Tissue...tissue... plezz plzzz !!!
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
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xylocaine - Registered User
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Wed May 05, 2004 2:46 am
- Location: Here somewhere
xylocaine wrote:Tissue...tissue... plezz plzzz !!!
I don't spill on the bed.
In un foro nella terra, viva un hobbit
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Habitual Perfectionist - Level 1 Lord
- Posts: 2527
- Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2003 4:28 am
- Location: Omnipresent
maybe Xylo doesnt aim right...Habitual Perfectionist wrote:I don't spill on the bed.xylocaine wrote:Tissue...tissue... plezz plzzz !!!
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
In ancient England a person could not have sex unlessthey had consent of the King (unless they were in theRoyal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, theygot consent of the King and the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were>having sex. The placard read F.U.C.K. (Fornication Under Consent of the King). Now you know where that word came from.
))))))))hard to beleive!! what if the king did not give
permission?
))))))))hard to beleive!! what if the king did not give
permission?
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
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akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
then the placard wud have a number on it.....guess what number....akhilis2cool wrote:what if the king did not give permission?
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
CtrlAltDel wrote:then the placard wud have a number on it.....guess what number....akhilis2cool wrote:what if the king did not give permission?
wat no.? mereko nai malum.....guruji aap hi bataao
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
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akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
abbe oh...what number is associated with a form of sex???akhilis2cool wrote:wat no.? mereko nai malum.....guruji aap hi bataaoCtrlAltDel wrote:then the placard wud have a number on it.....guess what number....akhilis2cool wrote:what if the king did not give permission?
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
CtrlAltDel wrote:abbe oh...what number is associated with a form of sex???akhilis2cool wrote:wat no.? mereko nai malum.....guruji aap hi bataaoCtrlAltDel wrote:then the placard wud have a number on it.....guess what number....akhilis2cool wrote:what if the king did not give permission?
aah I thot that wld b it....but tnx for conforming guruji
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
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akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
in dat case wat do the unmarried ones sayazazel wrote:according to a recent survey, most married men say "im goin home now"xylocaine wrote:After making love, what are you tryin to say?
...????wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
azazel wrote:CtrlAltDel wrote:in dat case wat do the unmarried ones say
how would i know? no experience in these matters
wen r we gonna meet again?
whether its ur ass r mirror......a blind man see the same
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cooljack - Registered User
- Posts: 190
- Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2004 4:01 pm
- Location: East fricking coast
:? if u r asking abt the next FHDB meet...theres a seperate thread for it...cooljack wrote:wen r we gonna meet again?azazel wrote:how would i know? no experience in these mattersCtrlAltDel wrote:in dat case wat do the unmarried ones say
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
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