Humor...or something like it.

[Stingrae]

Wat do u call a boomerang that doesn't return?



A stick.

[rock_26iin]

y r u so hell-bent on a stick. Raj sent it kya??

[Stingrae]

y r u so hell-bent on a stick. Raj sent it kya??

What is Raj poking at a medium pace into rock's behind?



A stick.



What can't rock raise up?



A stick, a wooden one.



What was the latest surgery that rock got done?



The stick was extricated from his posterior.



How many rocks do you need to put on a switch?



One. jus remove d stick from his behind and tap d switch.



Why did d rock cross the road?



'Coz there was a stick on d other side.



How many dumfuk joke-like-things can i make up?



A lot.

[rocK_26iin]

[Stingrae]

Wat do u call a humanoid who posts mountains of smileys?



the rock.

[rock_26iin]

Wat do u call a humanoid who posts mountains of smileys?

the rock.

not the rock



rock_26iin

[azazel]

A guy goes with his girl to a motel and is surprised to see his best friend's car outside one of the rooms. He thinks to himself, It's noon, I thought he was at work…

So he decides to play a joke on him and takes one of the hubcaps from his car.



That same night, he goes to his friend's house, knocks on the door and tells his friend, "Hey, look what I found!!"



His friend replies, "Hey that's my hubcap, were did you get it from?"



The guy lowers his voice and says, "Don't play dumb with me, I saw your car outside the motel at noon today!"



His friend stands there quietly for a moment, goes back into the house, goes to the kitchen, and tells his wife, "Look honey, I found the hubcap you lost at the supermarket today!"

[CtrlAltDel]

Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult an astrologer about the date of his death.



Reading Osama's birth chart n horoscope, the astrologer says:"You will die on an American holiday."



"Which one?" Osama bin Laden asks nervously.



"It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday."

**********************************

One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. So he went over to the bush and saw his friend starring at a woman bathing. As they were looking at the naked woman all of a sudden the second boy took off running.



The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked, "It was interesting man, why did you run away?"



The other boy replied, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."

[Alexis]

There was a street thug hiding behind some bushes waiting patiently for his next victim. A man in a suit approaced, and the thug jumped in front of him and said "GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY!". The man, shocked, says "Dont attack me, Im just a Congressman".

To this, the thug replied, "In that case, gimme all MY money".



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Two men walking their dogs (a Doberman and Chihuahua) decide to head into a bar for happy hour. But there was a "NO PETS" sign outside it. They head in anyways with their dogs. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey, dont you see the sign? No pets allowed in here". The guy with the Doberman says, "No, Im blind and this is my seeing dog". The bartender looks at the other guy with the chihuahua and says, "Well you cant come in because you have a chihuahua". To this, the man stares blankly and worriedly into space and says, "What?! They gave me a chihuahua???"

[azazel]

A guy named David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully-grown, with a bad attitude and even worse vocabulary. Every other word was a swear word. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, and doing anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got angrier and ruder.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute.



David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."



David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had caused such a dramatic change, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

[rock_26iin]

^^good 1 azazel

[CtrlAltDel]

"Oops!" is a word

That I don't care

To hear as someone

Cuts my hair.



Another time

It's not a thrill

Is when the dentist

Holds a drill.



An "Oops!" escaped

From a pilot's lips

Can tense me up

On airplane trips.



But nothing's worse

Than Oopses! spoken

When one finds out

The rubber's broken.

[Alexis]

Of course we'd expect a joke like that from you, CAD!

[Habitual Perfectionist]

Try this out. I got it as a forward...wanted to delete it...gave it a chance and it rocked...



1. Open http://www.google.com. It will end up opening google.co.in but never mind.



2. Click on the small link for Language tools next to the text box for search strings.



3. In the Language tools page, you'll find the Translate section. In the translate box, type in "My mama is nice and cool" - without the quote unquote. Select English to Spanish from the box below and click on translate.



4. Now copy the spanish translation and paste it again into the translate box. Select Spanish to English and translate.

[Habitual Perfectionist]

Suddenly remembered the heights of sex change while posting elsewhere.



Victoria Terminus being renamed Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus.

[Alexis]

He/she is Indian?

[Habitual Perfectionist]

He/she is Indian?

Victoria Terminus (VT) is one of the architectural marvels of Mumbai and India too. It houses the HQ for CEntral Railways and is one of the major railway stations in India. Check out these images.











The BJP-SS govt., which was ruling Maharashtra in the last term went on a massive drive to divest Mumbai of its colonial culture and the first targets were British names for places. Victoria Terminus was renamed as Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus after the maratha king, who was an icon for the BJP-SS govt.

[Alexis]

Oh, so its the name of a building. I feel like such a dud!

[Habitual Perfectionist]

Oh, so its the name of a building. I feel like such a dud!

Please don't feel so...it happens to the best of us.

[Alexis]

HP, when do you get time to sleep? We usually chat when its 3am or 4am in India.

[Habitual Perfectionist]

Will start a new thread on this.

[rock_26iin]

I think someone already posted this but neway :



Diary of wife and husband


HER DIARY

Sunday night I thought he was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some
coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought
he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no
comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we
go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet
and absent.

I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He
said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he
simply smiled and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he
didn't say, "I love you,too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if
he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant
and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes
later he came to bed.

I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I
decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen
asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his
thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.
...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...


HIS DIARY

Today India lost. DAMN IT.

[Stingrae]

Some people are good with words, others...erm....thingy.

[rock_26iin]

Some people are good with words, others...erm....thingy.

[Stingrae]