Humor...or something like it.

by **Stingrae** » Mon May 31, 2004 10:20 am

wt job is dat? a 24/7 spammin network?:D

dat wud jus fine for me...i can type wid me eyes closed....not only on d keyboard...even me trusty-ole phone... :mrgreen:

ur quote reminds me of an ole quote...

We always knew we'd look back on d times we cried and laugh, and we'd never look back on the times we laughed and cry......

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Mon May 31, 2004 7:27 pm

This is a good one if you want to really get on someone's nerves.

Badshah Khan was a pathan prince. When he was 10 years old, his father took him to Goa for a holiday. Walking on a beach, Badshah Khan came across a briton called Peter, who was the same age as him and they struck an immediate friendship.

Badshah Khan and Peter had a whale of a time on that holiday. They would eat, play on the beaches, go out cycling and have a lot of fun together. On the last day of the holiday, while having lunch, Peter asked Badshah Khan, "What's your age?" BK replied, "Dus saal". And they parted sadly.

When Badshah Khan completed his studies, his father wanted to send him on a coming of age holiday. And he chose Goa. While walking on Colva beach, BK again came across a brit and got talking to him. To his surprise, he found out that this was his long lost friend, Peter. They were both very happy and had a whale of a time on the holiday. They would eat, play on the beaches, go out cycling and have a lot of fun together. On the last day of the holiday, while having lunch, Peter asked Badshah Khan, "What's your age?" BK replied, "Dus saal". And they parted sadly.

A couple of years later, Badshah Khan got married. He took his wife to Goa for his honeymoon. And as the wife's bad luck would have it, while walking on Calangut beach, BK bumped into Peter. They again had a whale of a time on the holiday. They would eat, play on the beaches, go out cycling and have a lot of fun together. On the last day of the holiday, while having lunch, Peter asked Badshah Khan, "What's your age?" BK replied, "Dus saal". And they parted sadly.

Badshah Khan's wife gave birth to a bonny baby the next year. When the baby was two years old, they again went on a holiday to Goa. While walking on Anjuna, BK again met Peter. And as usual, they had a whale of a time on the holiday. They would eat, play on the beaches, go out cycling and have a lot of fun together. On the last day of the holiday, while having lunch, Peter asked Badshah Khan, "What's your age?" BK replied, "Dus saal". And they parted sadly.

Badshah Khan's children grew up and got settled. After getting over all his responsibilities, he wanted some relaxation and he set off on a visit to Goa. And not too much of a surprise this time around, but while walking on the sands of Bogmalo, guess who he met. No prizes for guessing, it was good old Peter. Needless to say, they had a whale of a time on the holiday. They would eat, play on the beaches, go out cycling and have a lot of fun together. On the last day of the holiday, while having lunch, Peter asked Badshah Khan, "What's your age?" BK replied, "Dus saal". And they parted sadly.

Age takes its toll on people. Badshah Khan was no exception. HE realised that he didn't have too many days to go. He decided to visit Goa for one last time. And by God's grace, this time too, during a stroll on golden Mapusa, he saw Peter reclining on an easy chair. What next? They had a whale of a time on the holiday. They would eat, play on the beaches, go out cycling and have a lot of fun together. On the last day of the holiday, while having lunch, Peter asked Badshah Khan, "What's your age?" BK replied, "Dus saal". This was more than Peter could take. He burst out. "This is the sixth time we are meeting in the last 50 years. And ever since the first time, your age has just been 10? You're just about to kick the bucket and you say you're just 10 years old? WTF is this? BK replies coolly, "Pathan ki zubaan paththar ki lakeer hoti hai. Pathan kabhi apni zubaan se nahi firta".

by **LuBiN_yOo** » Mon May 31, 2004 10:22 pm

naa...its cuz the lady ova thr...she takes ppl who can type w/out lookin down...best job eva...dont do much...n get paid..

sowwie STINGRAE...i kno how annoyin it is when ppl get ur name wrong or think its chinese... lol

anyways...goin to watch DAY AFTER TOMORROW...

***u got me lifted...u got me shifted...u got me lifted,shifted..feelin so gifted..suga suga how u get soo fly??..***

*** indicates the beginnin n endin of ma quote

by **Stingrae** » Mon May 31, 2004 11:58 pm

my curiousity's only increased...wt IS dis job? :mrgreen:

a whole new rulebook for quotes yeh?!:?

n HP wtf is up wit dat joke dude?!!

now THIS is a joke....

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

One turns to the other and says "dam!" :mrgreen:

by **LuBiN_yOo** » Tue Jun 01, 2004 9:15 am

lol...oh i jus hav to call up ppl n tell 'em whtr they get financial aid or not...i dunno y the lady wants ppl to kno how to type...u dont even use the computr!!!

buh..sometymes..its kinda ruff..tellin ppl..they dint get it n all...

oh well...its all fo the $$$..... ;-)

read this somehwr...aint tht funny...

Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?

A: I'm bacon!

yeh ladki kyu..najane kyu..ladkon si nahi hoti??...---hum tum...

now y wud anyone wnt tht??

*** Friend or foe BIOTCH!***

by **Stingrae** » Tue Jun 01, 2004 11:36 am

LuBiN_yOo wrote:Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bacon!

yeh ladki kyu..najane kyu..ladkon si nahi hoti??...---hum tum...
now y wud anyone wnt tht??

*** Friend or foe BIOTCH!***

ekzactly...variety is d spice of life...even if d different species is a bitch...

finally..somethin ON topic....

here's somethin else....

Three blondes were walking through the woods when they came upon a set of tracks.

"Looks like deer tracks," said one blonde.

"No, it looks like maybe a cow track," another blonde suggested.

"Actually, I think they are just dog tracks," the third blonde offered.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Tue Jun 01, 2004 1:29 pm

Zodiac "after-the-act" Comments

Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"

Taurus: "I'm hungry, pass the pizza."

Gemini: "Have you seen the TV remote?"

Cancer: "When are we getting married?"

Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"

Virgo: "I need to wash the bedsheets."

Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."

Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."

Sagittarius: "Don't call me I'll call you."

Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"

Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"

Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"

Now...what are u?

by **cancerboi** » Tue Jun 01, 2004 11:13 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:Zodiac "after-the-act" Comments

Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"
Taurus: "I'm hungry, pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the TV remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"
Virgo: "I need to wash the bedsheets."
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."
Sagittarius: "Don't call me I'll call you."
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"

Now...what are u?

wtf...i ain't much for commitment....:-S

by **LuBiN_yOo** » Wed Jun 02, 2004 2:59 am

nuh uh....i wudnt ask him his name...j/p

yay...finally somethin on topic...

m improvin..aint I??

here's anthr one...

Bob- Can you see farther durin the day or at night?

Joe- Durin the day ofcourz.

BoB- Wrong! During the day you can only see the Sun but at night you can see the stars...

lol..fo the dumb ppl..if thr r any...

*** All Eyez On Me (R.I.P) ***

by **Adonis** » Wed Jun 02, 2004 7:55 am

What did the sadist say to the masocist when he asked to be hit.....

"NO!"

by **CtrlAltDel** » Wed Jun 02, 2004 10:28 am

LuBiN_yOo wrote:nuh uh....i wudnt ask him his name...j/p

good...if u'd asked me my name i wudn't've untied u...

anyways...here's my joke for the day:

Haribhai Sabkuchwala, a share-broker, received an urgent phone call one afternoon.

"My name is Santa Singh," the caller announced. "About two weeks ago, my wife got crazy and started walking the street, asking me to procure customers for her."

"Teheriye…...bhaisaab," Sabkuchwala protested. "You want Dr.Sabkuchwala the psychiatrist. His name is right below mine in the telephone directory. Many people dial my number by mistake."

"No mistake," came the reply. "I want you to invest all the money we're making."

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Wed Jun 02, 2004 5:52 pm

Q : What do you call a Pakistani prostitute in French?

A : La Whore

Q : Who wrote the book The Golden Stream?

A : I.P.Daley

Q : Who wrote the book The Golden River?

A : V.P.Daley

by **LuBiN_yOo** » Wed Jun 02, 2004 6:04 pm

oooohhh..so u tie 'em up huh?....thts the secret to his success people...

***you make me wanna surrender my soul***

by **CtrlAltDel** » Fri Jun 04, 2004 4:56 pm

LuBiN_yOo wrote:oooohhh..so u tie 'em up huh?....thts the secret to his success people...
***you make me wanna surrender my soul***

do that baybeee...i'll tie yr soul up too.... :lol:

anyway here's my contribution for the day:

An escaped convict, Raj, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple, Mrs. n Mr. Stingrae who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed. He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared that he was kissing her neck.

Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible Mr.Stingrae made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it. Be strong and I love you."

After spitting out the gag in her mouth, Mrs.Stingrae says: "Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck... He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the

bathroom. Be strong and I love you, too."

by **Stingrae** » Fri Jun 04, 2004 6:57 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:
anyway here's my contribution for the day:

An escaped convict, Raj, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple, Mrs. n Mr. Stingrae who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed. He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared that he was kissing her neck........

i ain't married.... :shock:

maaki mere thread mereko ich butt-of-all-jokes banade re....

by **azazel** » Sat Jun 05, 2004 12:24 am

a totla went for an interview at this co.

he was asked to say these four words :

Institute, Aptitude, Magnitude and Substitute

n our totla goes:

Inkich*t, Aapkich*t, Maakich*t and Sabkich*t

by **-:-PhAt-:-** » Sat Jun 05, 2004 5:08 am

ur hands jus itchin to tie someone up huh??...

lmao..that was sooo funnniiee Ctrl...

awww stingrae..i sympathize with ya... ;-)

***Blessing loving from the start but you know we had to part

That's the way I give my love***

by **giftie** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 8:33 pm

Q - What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

A - Hold on to your nuts, this is not gonna be an easy blow job!

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 8:37 pm

LMAO!!!

by **giftie** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 8:38 pm

i thot this one ws really funny!!

Q- Why is orgasm a 6 letter word?

A Because its easier to spell than "_" :lol:

by **Alexis** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 8:41 pm

Good one, Giftie!

by **giftie** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 8:46 pm

Thankee Alexis

*curtsies*

by **Stingrae** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 8:53 pm

giftie wrote:Q - What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A - Hold on to your nuts, this is not gonna be an easy blow job!

this one shall find a place in my Hall of Fame of Short jokes.... :mrgreen:

for those who get dis one...its dam funny... :mrgreen:

Sure, when... - OINK FLAP OINK FLAP - Well I'll be darned!

by **romu** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 11:05 pm

'Sink or Swim'

A blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for awhile. When she could not stand it any more, she called out to the blonde in the field, "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?"

The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it's an ocean of wheat."

The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field, "It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name." The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.

The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself with rage. She shook her fist at the blonde in the field and yelled, "If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your ass."

by **Stingrae** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 11:24 pm

romu wrote:'Sink or Swim' ....

bachuu...welcome to FH.....

Welcome to the DBs Mr.R.G :mrgreen:

we joined on d same day...look at dat....

Humor...or something like it.

hee hee

junior

Who is online