The pope and a lawyer are on the elevator...

[CtrlAltDel]

PSD n others, 1 more Pope joke:



The Pope died and as he approached the pearly gates, St. Peter greeted him with a big hug and said, "Welcome, your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man during life has earned you great stature in heaven. You may pass through the gates without delay and are granted free access to all parts of heaven. Is there anything which you may desire?"

"Well, yes," the Pope replied. "I have often pondered some of the mysteries which have puzzled and confounded theologians through the ages. Are there perhaps any transcripts which record the actual prophechies of old? I would love to see what was actually said, without the dimming memories over time."

St. Peter immediately ushered the Pope to the heavenly library and explained how to retrieve the various documents. The Pope was thrilled and settled down to review the history of man's relationship with God.

But a short time later, a scream of anguish pierced the stacks of the library. Immediately, several of the Saints and Angels came running. There they found the Pope pointing to a single word on a parchment, repeating over and over, "There's an 'R', there's an 'R'! It's 'celebrate', not 'celibate!'"





..and a bonus joke:



A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning back smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on his face.



The egg, looking a bit annoyed, rolls over, and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered *THAT* question.”

[azazel]

well, since its non-Pope jokes too creepin in here..



One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bill says to Mike behind him,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."



"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a

diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the

computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten

seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."



So Bill deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis

elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two

weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bill began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.



Bill hurries back to WalMart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits results.



The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at WalMart

[BM]

PSD n others, 1 more Pope joke:

The Pope died and as he approached the pearly gates, St. Peter greeted him with a big hug and said, "Welcome, your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man during life has earned you great stature in heaven. You may pass through the gates without delay and are granted free access to all parts of heaven. Is there anything which you may desire?"
"Well, yes," the Pope replied. "I have often pondered some of the mysteries which have puzzled and confounded theologians through the ages. Are there perhaps any transcripts which record the actual prophechies of old? I would love to see what was actually said, without the dimming memories over time."
St. Peter immediately ushered the Pope to the heavenly library and explained how to retrieve the various documents. The Pope was thrilled and settled down to review the history of man's relationship with God.
But a short time later, a scream of anguish pierced the stacks of the library. Immediately, several of the Saints and Angels came running. There they found the Pope pointing to a single word on a parchment, repeating over and over, "There's an 'R', there's an 'R'! It's 'celebrate', not 'celibate!'"


..and a bonus joke:

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning back smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on his face.

The egg, looking a bit annoyed, rolls over, and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered *THAT* question.”

[BM]

well, since its non-Pope jokes too creepin in here..

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bill says to Mike behind him,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a
diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten
seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Bill deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two
weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bill began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Bill hurries back to WalMart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at WalMart

[Jaszalcatraz]

I thought my spamming was hopelessly obvious......look at BM go.

[azazel]

BM saab's intentions are good..

oh God, plz dun let him be misunderstood

[akhilis2cool]

well it was good to read a few long posts after a long time.

but suddenly BM broght bak the old memories.......







any way.....keep poostinggg......

[azazel]

laughter Malayali sdyle:



Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don't werk hard?

Kerala



Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?

Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.



Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?

To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.



Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?

To yearn meney.



What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?

He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.



Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome?

Because he wanted to hear pope music.



What is Malayali management graduate called?

Yem Bee Yae.



Why did his wife divorce him?

Because he was louwing another woman.



Who found out that?

His aandy.

[Happy Hyderabadi]

Malayali Speciality ...

Thank You Dost Azazel! .... What is Special about Malayalis? They Speak MALAYALAM ... Ulta Pulta Kuchh Bhi Karo Unke Muh Se MALAYALAM hi sunayi dega, chahe woh English / Hindi /Telugu kuchh bhi ho

[azazel]

What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?

He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.



What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?

An Oto.



Who is Malayali's fyamousu aectress?

Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.



Why Kerala is the heghly literate state in India?

Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapal from Kerala



Which car does he purchase when he gets license?

Second hand Mercedes.



Please copy-paste this after reading, at least you should send

this mail to:



10 Malayalis & you will receive 1/2 litre of coconut oil

20 Malayalis and you will receive 1 Kg of benena chips

40 Malayalis you will receive 2 appams and stew