Mazhiya Waqiye Share Kijiye Apna Ya Kisi Aur Ka

[BM]

\"Ek dawat jis mein hum bhi shareek they aur usi \"Table\" per bhetey they jis \"Table\" per yeh waqaya huwa tha.
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<br>Huwa youn ek nawjawan ney ek Moulana sey jo dinner key intezaam dek rahey they guzarish ki key zara \"Gharam Biryani\" managaiye.
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<br>Moulana toh pheley ghoor key us nawajawan ko dekha aur phir pata nahi unhey kya sujhi \"unhoney nawajawan ka haat apney haat mein liya aur Biryani Ki Dish mein dahkil ker diya, ab kya tha nawjawan zor sey chilla utha kyon key Biryani bahot gharam thi aur us nawajawan ka haat jal gaya.
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<br>Nawjawan tilmila key un sahib sey kaha Qibla yeh kya herkat ki aapney mera haat jala diya.
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<br>Un sahib ney kaha Baba aap hi ney toh gharam Biryani manganey key liye kaha tha aur mein yeh batana chah raha tha key Biryani toh bahot gharam hey aur ab aapko is baat per ghussa karney ki kya zaroorat hey.
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<br>Nawjawan ney kaha mera matlab yeh tha key Biryani mein ghosht (mutton) nahi hey aur Biryani ghosht key saat magaiye.
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<br>Moulana ney kaha toh phir aapney gharam Biryani ki farmaish kyon ki balkey ghosht ki farmaiyesh kartey. Unkey is jumley per tammam table per bhetey huwey log hasney lagey.\"
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[BM]

Yeh waqiya kisi aur ka hey.
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<br>Subah ka waqt tha. Mera dost Babar mere paas aaiya aur kehne laga ke Main aaj aik laRki se milne jaa raha hoon.Haalat ka kuchh pata nehin hota iss liye tum mere saath ja~o.Kher bamushkil tamaam woh mujhe raazi kar ke le gia. Woh larki aik patli si gali ke aakhri makaan mein rehti thi. Mujhe Babar nukaR per khhaRa kar ke khud makhsoos waqt par uss ke paas pahonch gia. Woh laRki chhat par thi aur Babar neeche gali mein. Ab unn donon ke liye mas~la ye tha ke woh oonchi aawaz mein baat tak na kar sakte the kiyonke kissi ke sun lene ka andesha tha. Main ne Babar ko ishaara kiya ke zara aage ja~o aur jo baaten karni hain karo aur khatam karo iss qisse ko. Babar mera lehja hi sun kar ghabra saa gia. Behrhaal thori der to woh baaten karte rehe ke achank jiss jaga Babar khaRa tha bilkul uss ke sar ki seedh mein oopar parnaala laga howa tha uss mein se paani neeche gira aur Babar ko aik tarah se nehlaa kar rakh diya. Woh laRki bhi ghayeb ho geyi. Babar mere paas pahoncha aur pheeki si hansi hanste howe kehne laga **Uss ne mujh par paani phenk diya hai**.**Nehin bete main ne bache ko khud dekha hai shoo shoo karte howe aur yaqeen karo ke yehan itni door tak boo aa rehi hai. :lol
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<br>Uss din ke bahd Babar na uss laRki se mila aur na hi mera saamna theek tarah kar paaiya.
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[Kulcha Hyderabadi]

Bhaimiya, auron key barey mein to mai nahin janta, lekin hamarey saath jo mazaak hamarey mamu jaan ne kiya tha - Aaj se 24 saal pahle - woh mazaak aj tak ham jhel rahein hain. Apki bhabhi ki shakal mein!
<br>Huwa youn ke mamu ne ek raat khwab dekha ke unki seeti baj gayee (yani wo fout ho gaye). Bas subah subah dowday chaley aaye hamarey ghar aur Abbu aur Ammi se minnatein ki ke unki eklouti ladki ki shaadi apkey is badnaseeb, badbakht ke saath kar di jaye! Kyoon ke unkey khayal mein wo is duniya mein kuch hi din ke mehmaan the. Baher haal, hamari shamaat pukari thee ke hamne bhi haan kah dee ke kahin aisa na ho ke becharey mamujan is duniya se hasrat hi lekar na chaley jaen.
<br>Khair, wo din aur aaj ka din, apni bala ko wo mere sar daal kar chain ki zindagi jee rahein hain! Ab yeh agar mazaak nahin to aur kya hai mere dost. Unki aafat ki ghadi to nahin aayee magar main us din se chain ki ek ghadi bhi nahi jee paya. Accha jhansaa diye na mamu mereku! Is se badi aur koyee comedy ho sakti hai kya bolo ap?

[BM]

Kulcha bhai mujhey puri hamderdi hey aap sey.
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<br>Arch, Shayed, Khatta aur Tappebaz: Jaldi sey apney apney waqiye sunawo
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[Tappebaz]

<br>Bhai sahab BM aur Kulche aap log itne boring items ho mujhe aab pata chala. magar harani ki baat yeh hai ki main sonch raha tha ki aap log young honge (jis tarah se aap jokes karte ho), magar ek sahab 24 saal pehle shaadi kiye hain to ab kam se kam 40 45 ke to honge. aur rahi baat BM ki to lag he raha hai ki woh zaif budde honge....
<br>eeeeeeeeee main aapne baal kich raha hoon
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<br>is se bad aur kya joke/waqiya ho sakta hai mere liye ?????????
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[Kulcha Hyderabadi]

Bhai Tappebaz, jokes ka umar se kya taluq hai pasha? Bhai, dil jawan hona chahiyeh! Aur meri jaan, apney balon ko is tarah roz roz mat kheencha karo, nahin to hamari umar tak atey atey shayed kheenchney khinchaney ke liye shayed kuch baaqi nahi rah jayega! Main to pahle hi arz kar chuka hoon, ke bandar kitna bhi bhooda ho jaye, kulati maarna nahin chod\'ta.

[Khatta]

Kulcha bhaiiiiiiiiiii, nakkoooo itta nakkoo mayray bhai... Mayray dono kaano may bi kuch bhi nai hai bhai, ek min. Zara phir eak baar daykhlaytou, hou, na kaan may phool hai aur na toh beede hai. Bhai zara gareebon pay raham khaoo bhai... Jeenay do bhai, kaiku itta zulm karray? Shaadi hokay 24 saal, bhai yeh ummar may aap net cafe bhi daalay, hou, itta yaqeen se bolsaktou mai aap ke shadi huwe honge, baharhaal first ke try may toh full zoroon pay hongay ya phir second koh kaisa bhi. Ammaaa mmaaaa, itta daal ray itta daalray, pakana mushkil hojara na bhai. Khair inshallah, Hyd. jaisa he aonga seeda airport se aap kay paan kay dabbay pay ajaonga.

[BM]

Tappebaz: Aap bilkul sahi phechaney mager kaser nafsi sey kaam liye. Wesey, banda purey 100 cross ker chuka hey.

[Tappebaz]

BM bhai chalo mabrook centauri mar liye so, shayad aap ab ticket katane ki chakar main honge upar ka... Hehehe just joking. Aacha aab yeh batayee ki kab ki flight hai mujhe kuch parcel bhejana hai, zara mere marhoom dada ji ko de dena... aur budde se puchna ki meri shadi ki koi fizhar hai ya nahi??
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Mere ghar wale meri shaadi sahi waqt kar wate to aaj mere bachee bhi aap se online chatting karte the! Sahi hai nahi janab?

[Tappebaz]

Kulche bhai aap ki baat too sahi hai. Joke ki aur masti ki koi umar nahi hoti. Ab film actress Rekha ko dekhlo. Recently 4th shadi kari. Main puchta hoon us kambaqat se ki mere walid sahab mujhme kya burayee thi ek baar puch to leti.
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(Sorry dad aap ke saath mazaq!)

[BM]

Upper janey ki koyi reservation hoti aur na umer ki khed, jab bhi bulawa aaya \"Labek\" khena parhta hey - hey key nahi.

[Ssssssshhhhhhh]

Bhaio aur bahnon, sabko mera salam

bhoot din ke baad hazir horiun aaplogon ki mehfil main. Main hamesha padhte rahtiun bus likhti nain.

bhoot purani baat hai, jab main school main thi, yek garmiyon ki dupaher khajabi (hamari kaam karne vali), ghar mein ghustech apni bachi ko khoob marne lagi aur galian tu usko khoob aate the.

Bhoot puchhne ke baad asal qissa malum hua. voh ye ke, khaja bi ke miyan Ramzan Ali, Osmania davaqane mein shareek the. Baqool Khajabi ke kuchh dil, gurde ki shikayat hogai thi unko. Us din Khajabi apne 6 bachiyon ke saath miyan ko dekhne gae. Garmion ke din the.

Osmani dvakhane ka haal tu aap logon ko malumich honga, sadion se voi haal hai vanka. Ab yeh 6 bachiyan aur unki amman 2 ghante gate pe latak latak ke 4 baje andar jane ka vaqt hua. gate khhultech sari baraat bhagi generl ward ki taraf. Ab garmi ki vajah se bachion ke halaq main kante chubb rahe the, payas se bura haal tha. Khajabi ki manjli bachhi Fattu (Fatima) bhagne main bhi tez thi, aur dimagh ki bhi tez thi.

Unain pani ki talash main sab se pahle tezi se bhag ke ward main ghusi . aur baap ke palang ke niche rakhi hui CHHOTI surai mun se laga li. yeh bachi 2-4 ghoot piye tak khajabi bhi bed tak aai. aur kya dekhti hai ki bachi karahiyat se gala khakhar rai hai aur qai kare jaisa karrai.

Utte main Ramzan Ali bole ke "voh nurse mere ko kharura jama karo boli thi tu main subah se voh CHHOTI surai main jama karte jaraon". Yeh sunna tha ke khaja bi aag bagola hogai. magar chunke davaqane main maar nahin sakte the tu voh udhar maar ghar aake pura karrahe the. Is qisse ko yek arsa guzar gaya, magar jab bhi hum logan Khajabi ki zikar karte tu Kharoore ki CHHOTI surai ka zikar zaroor aata hai.