Men\'s Language
<br>
<br>It’s a popular saying in Telugu that “Aaduvari Maatalaku Ardhale Verule” (What women mean is different) (was it Atreya? Later, also used in Pavan Kalyan’s movie Kushi). What about “Magavaari Maatalaku Ardhalu Vipareethalu (What men mean is exactly opposite)? Here are some (not mine, but a compilation from the net):
<br>
<br>\"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?\"
<br>Means: \"Why isn\'t it already on the table?\"
<br>
<br>\"UH HUH,\" \"SURE, HONEY,\" OR \"YES, DEAR...\"
<br>Means: Absolutely nothing. It\'s a conditioned response.
<br>
<br>\"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN\"
<br>Means: \"I have no idea how it works.\"
<br>
<br>\"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT\'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.\"
<br>Means: \"I was wondering if that blonde over there is wearing a bra.\"
<br>
<br>\"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU\'RE WORKING TOO HARD.\"
<br>Means: \"I can\'t watch the match over the blender’s noise.\"
<br>
<br>\"THAT\'S INTERESTING, DEAR.\"
<br>Means: \"Are you still talking?\"
<br>
<br>\"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.\"
<br>Means: \"I remember the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I\'ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.\"
<br>
<br>\"OH, DON\'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT\'S NO BIG DEAL.\"
<br>Means: \"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I will admit that I\'m hurt.\"
<br>
<br>\"HEY, I\'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I\'M DOING.\"
<br>Means: \"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.\"
<br>
<br>\"I HEARD YOU.\"
<br>Means: \"I haven\'t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don\'t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.\"
<br>
<br>\"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.\"
<br>Means: \"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realise that it could be worse.\"
<br>
<br>\"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.\"
<br>Means: \"Please don\'t try on one more outfit - I\'m starving.\"
<br>
<br>\"I\'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.\"
<br>Means: \"No one will ever see us alive again.\"
<br>
<br>Lastly, \"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.\"
<br>Means: \"I make the messes, she cleans them up.\"
Men's Language
Moderator: The Moderator Team
2 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Men's Language
first, people have to understand how men and women treat things differently, as seen below:
<br>
<br>Relationships:
<br>
<br>First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as \"that time when me and Suzy were doing ‘it’ on a semi-regular basis\".
<br>When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled \"All Men are idiots\". Then she will get on with her life.
<br>A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, \"I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I\'ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you\'re a total bitch. But I want you to know that there\'s always a chance for us\". This is known as the \"I Hate You / I Love You\" drunken phone call, that 99% if not all men have made at least once.
<br>
<br>
<br>Maturity:
<br>
<br>Women mature much faster than men do. Most 17 year old females can function as adults.
<br>Most 17 year old males are still playing computer games.
<br>This is why school romances rarely work out.
<br>
<br>
<br>Handwriting:
<br>
<br>To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just scribble. Women use scented, coloured stationery and they dot their i\'s with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their p\'s and g\'s it is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she\'s dumping you, she\'ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.
<br>
<br>
<br>Bathrooms:
<br>
<br>A man has six items in his bathroom;- a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from some hotel.
<br>The average number of items in the typical woman\'s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
<br>
<br>
<br>Groceries:
<br>
<br>A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the shop and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half an orange and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout, his trolley is packed tighter than any refugee’s belongings.
<br>
<br>
<br>Going Out:
<br>
<br>When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out.
<br>When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her earring, finishes putting on her makeup, and decides what dress to wear.
<br>
<br>
<br>Cats:
<br>
<br>Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren\'t looking, men kick cats.
<br>
<br>
<br>Dressing Up:
<br>
<br>A woman will dress up properly to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish, answer the phone, read a book, get the post.
<br>A man will dress up properly for: weddings, or funerals.
<br>
<br>
<br>Laundry:
<br>
<br>Women wash their clothes every couple of days.
<br>A man will wear every article of clothing he owns before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, and take his mountain of clothes to be washed.
<br>
<br>
<br>Nicknames:
<br>
<br>If Mary, Suzanne, Jane and Alice get together for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Suzanne, Jane and Alice. But if Mike, Dave, Tom and Jack go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Butt-Head, Tosser, Peanut-Brain and Useless.
<br>
<br>
<br>Eating out:
<br>
<br>When the bill comes, Mike, Dave, Tom and Jack will each throw in £20 note, even though it\'s only for £22.50, none of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
<br>When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
<br>
<br>
<br>Mirrors:
<br>
<br>Men are vain, they will always check themselves out in a mirror.
<br>Women are ridiculous, they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, and their husbands\' head.
<br>
<br>
<br>The Telephone:
<br>
<br>Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
<br>A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will phone the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
<br>
<br>
<br>Directions:
<br>
<br>If a woman is out driving, and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a petrol station and ask for directions.
<br>Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, \"Looks like I\'ve found a new way to get there\" and, \"I know I\'m in the general area, I recognise that pub\".
<br>
<br>
<br>Admitting Mistakes:
<br>
<br>Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was ...well that was a long time ago..we dont remember who it was.
<br>
<br>
<br>Plants:
<br>
<br>A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.
<br>
<br>
<br>Garages:
<br>
<br>Women use garages to park their cars.
<br>Men use garages for many things. They hang car parts in garages, they avoid women in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.
<br>
<br>
<br>Jewellery:
<br>
<br>Women look nice when they wear jewellery.
<br>A man can get away with wearing one ring and that\'s it. Any more than that and he will look like Boy George.
<br>
<br>Relationships:
<br>
<br>First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as \"that time when me and Suzy were doing ‘it’ on a semi-regular basis\".
<br>When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled \"All Men are idiots\". Then she will get on with her life.
<br>A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, \"I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I\'ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you\'re a total bitch. But I want you to know that there\'s always a chance for us\". This is known as the \"I Hate You / I Love You\" drunken phone call, that 99% if not all men have made at least once.
<br>
<br>
<br>Maturity:
<br>
<br>Women mature much faster than men do. Most 17 year old females can function as adults.
<br>Most 17 year old males are still playing computer games.
<br>This is why school romances rarely work out.
<br>
<br>
<br>Handwriting:
<br>
<br>To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just scribble. Women use scented, coloured stationery and they dot their i\'s with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their p\'s and g\'s it is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she\'s dumping you, she\'ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.
<br>
<br>
<br>Bathrooms:
<br>
<br>A man has six items in his bathroom;- a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from some hotel.
<br>The average number of items in the typical woman\'s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
<br>
<br>
<br>Groceries:
<br>
<br>A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the shop and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half an orange and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout, his trolley is packed tighter than any refugee’s belongings.
<br>
<br>
<br>Going Out:
<br>
<br>When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out.
<br>When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her earring, finishes putting on her makeup, and decides what dress to wear.
<br>
<br>
<br>Cats:
<br>
<br>Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren\'t looking, men kick cats.
<br>
<br>
<br>Dressing Up:
<br>
<br>A woman will dress up properly to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish, answer the phone, read a book, get the post.
<br>A man will dress up properly for: weddings, or funerals.
<br>
<br>
<br>Laundry:
<br>
<br>Women wash their clothes every couple of days.
<br>A man will wear every article of clothing he owns before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, and take his mountain of clothes to be washed.
<br>
<br>
<br>Nicknames:
<br>
<br>If Mary, Suzanne, Jane and Alice get together for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Suzanne, Jane and Alice. But if Mike, Dave, Tom and Jack go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Butt-Head, Tosser, Peanut-Brain and Useless.
<br>
<br>
<br>Eating out:
<br>
<br>When the bill comes, Mike, Dave, Tom and Jack will each throw in £20 note, even though it\'s only for £22.50, none of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
<br>When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
<br>
<br>
<br>Mirrors:
<br>
<br>Men are vain, they will always check themselves out in a mirror.
<br>Women are ridiculous, they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, and their husbands\' head.
<br>
<br>
<br>The Telephone:
<br>
<br>Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
<br>A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will phone the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
<br>
<br>
<br>Directions:
<br>
<br>If a woman is out driving, and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a petrol station and ask for directions.
<br>Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, \"Looks like I\'ve found a new way to get there\" and, \"I know I\'m in the general area, I recognise that pub\".
<br>
<br>
<br>Admitting Mistakes:
<br>
<br>Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was ...well that was a long time ago..we dont remember who it was.
<br>
<br>
<br>Plants:
<br>
<br>A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.
<br>
<br>
<br>Garages:
<br>
<br>Women use garages to park their cars.
<br>Men use garages for many things. They hang car parts in garages, they avoid women in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.
<br>
<br>
<br>Jewellery:
<br>
<br>Women look nice when they wear jewellery.
<br>A man can get away with wearing one ring and that\'s it. Any more than that and he will look like Boy George.
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings 
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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- Registered User
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