Therez Something about Archana

by **Archanas Fans** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 4:40 pm

Hi! Fullhyd,...
 For all of you fullhyds who are Fans of our Bold dashing and dynamic Archana ..this is the forum to post ur views

by **Cherry** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 4:46 pm

yeah right...shez firy..bold and dshing

by **Dorito** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 7:06 pm

and full of herself and her biased views!

by **ChicagoDesi** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 7:29 pm

Bold and Dashing??? How about biased and ignorant..hater..has to be controversial to draw attention to herself cuz that\'s the only way she\'ll ever get attention.

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 7:36 pm

Quote :
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 has to be controversial to draw attention to herself cuz that\'s the only way she\'ll ever get attention.
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 You\'re probably misinformed there buddy. A picture of hers was enough to generate a lot of draw.
 
 P.S. : Ask the Genius

by **archana** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 3:08 am

Haha!! What is this guys?? I\'m really flattered.... a board just for me...
 
 I\'m not doing anything bold or daring. I\'m just speaking my mind out.. that was what I was taught in my schooldays. I know that in Indian schools, girls are taught to sit quiet in the corner and not question the male authority or any kind of authority in general, and if anyone like that exists, she is treated as a rebel. Its a little different here, and you can speak your mind out on any issue.
 
 A few weeks ago there was this anti-Iraq war rally in Washington DC, and I attended it (yes I am anti-Iraq war) People there were holding banners that said \"Kick the ass out of the white house\", \"Bush is a LIAR\" and stuff like that. I bet if you do something like that in India, you could get nailed by the cops and hit with watercanons and batons. Its just that once the environment gets a little more responsive and less hostile to those who are under pressure and have to \"keep their mouths shut\", I\'m sure India will be a really democratic country!

by **weepee** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 7:30 am

archana,
 did u give something away in ur last post ?? Now I know where to go if i gotta look for u.

by **archana** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 9:11 am

Hi Weepee:
 
 I live in the DC area, if that can help you in your search

by **Archanas Fans** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:36 am

hey Archana,
 Give us a break shows ur Ignorance about Indian education and girls who are educated here..girls here are equally free to say whatever they want and say it at the right forum at an opportune moment...and believe in preserving their dignity..I guess no harm in being conservative ..being conservative doesnt mean being shy or oppresses..they are disciplined....and hats off to the Indain Girls or woman who are Feminine and assertive which makes them what they are

by **archana** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:24 am

Yeah, but I have also met many girls from India who are married against their will to some stranger just because they are greencard holders or H1 visa holders. Most of them had boyfriends back in India prior to coming to the US. They said that they could not protest against their parents\' decision because they\'d get either beaten up or get a bad name. I\'m not making a blatant statement - its what I observed after talking to so many Indian girls here who in spite of their Masters degrees in India, come on a dependent H4 visa ending up as permanent housewives.
 
 True there are some really outspoken girls (usually the Bombay ones), but by and large you find Hyd girls to be the silent type, agreeing to whatever crap is thrust on them by their parents, uncles/aunts, and yeah, some of them actually cheat on their husbands by secretly meeting their old boyfriends.
 
 Culture may say something, but blindly following it without reason is dangerous, and misinterpreting it to suit either the dominant sex or the older generation will result in a lot of unfulfilled dreams and an unsatisfied life.

by **Archanas Fans** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:33 am

Hey Archana,
 Thats becoz of poverty ...tahts all..girls get married to green card holders coz their parents seee a safe future finanaces wise for them..thats all......yes !!! I do agree the people from the stratas of society in which they are not sound financially resort to these things..why India ..there are ample cases in history across the world where the poor have to forget their aims aspirations ,love ffor a safer financail future ..any way chill!!!! Ihave been in the US and I am in hydbad so I understand as to what ur saying

by **archana** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:54 am

Yup. There is no doubt that the girl\'s parents would like to get her married with someone who has been successful in life. This is good and bad if you look at it objectively.
 I mean lets take the example of one of my many friends Radhika, who completed her MCA degree from Hyd. She was in love with her classmate, and towards the end of her degree, her dad got her a proposal - his friend\'s son who was a greencard holder in California.
 
 Unfortunately even as she protested, her parents said no. She was beaten up and not allowed to meet anyone till she agreed to marrying this greencard holder. The reason her parents gave her was quite valid - that her bf still did not have a job or a career. And it looks like its a status symbol to get every desi girl married with a greencard holder/H1 guy. Anyway Radhika married this guy - married him within 2 days of meeting him !! She\'s not a virgin, and to fool her mother-in-law who was waiting eagerly the morning after the marriage for the stained bedsheet, poured a bottle of blood on it during the night!! After coming to the US, all she is allowed to do is stay at home and have kitty parties with other similar graduate desi housewives. Surprisingly she is relaxed about it because she says she\'s been taught to submit to the male authority in the house.. that is her father, brothers, husband and finally (future) sons. She laughs when I ask her why she does not want to use her graduate degree, and says that its not generally the norm in \"respectable families\" for girls to work. Of late, she has been cheating on her husband by meeting her ex-bf clandestinely (he\'s in California too). She supports it because she knows that he cheats on her by meeting his ex-gf who got married to someone in Boston the same way...
 
 She\'s just one example.. You got to meet some of the Muslim girls from Hyderabad.. they are in a real horrible state - married at 14/15 and they have half a dozen kids by 20. I don\'t interact much with them but they are close with my best friend Yasmin (the American born Pak girl I mentioned earlier in one of the forums) probably I can get more info from her.

by **JustaLittleUnwell** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 12:41 pm

Archana, I would\'ve been the last person to contribute to this thread, but you do make sense here. Indian girls (even highly educated ones from well-to-do families) lead very subjugated lives, and I hope things change for the better soon.
 
 All the talk about India being an economic and military super power will dissappear into thin air, if we continue to subjugate our women and the underprivileged (dalits, minorities etc.)

by **archanas fans** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 12:54 pm

yup root cause poverty right !!!!

by **mustt_mustt** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 2:41 pm

Archana,
 
 What world are you living in, metaphorically speaking? You mean to say that protesters in India will be hosed by water canons or arrested by the police if they were to protest against the war in Iraq? Please wake up and smell some coffee. India was one of the first countries to witness large scale protests as soon as Bush started talking about declaring war against Iraq. Protests have always been part of India\'s political culture, irrespective of the cause. Maybe you were protesting for the first time in your life, hence the \"novelty\" of the experience.

by **archana** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 2:54 pm

Haha mustt_mustt
 
 I don\'t mean those kind of protests. Anyway I remember Radhika telling me about some of the anti-dowry protesters in Hyd, and how they were the ones to set their daughters-in-law on fire in the kitchen, passing it off as a fire accident.. !!!
 
 But yeah you were right about public protests in India. Though public demonstrations are a good way to protest, they are usually ineffective cuz they quickly fade into oblivion if there are too many issues to handle.
 
 Here, Bush\'s ratings dropped a lot around the time of the demonstrations. I\'m glad his ass got kicked in India and most of the countries where he went to garner support. Right here, except in Texas and a few other states, most of the US does not really support him.

by **George Mush ;)** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 6:10 pm

No offence meant! She is just another person.... A new board dedicated to her??? whoever did this -- greatness!! LOL peace,

by **ChicagoDesi** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 10:29 am

Archana, even though we disagree on other things, I do agree with you that many girls in India, whether they are Hindu, Muslim,Sikh, or whatever, most of them are forced to marry a guy just because he\'s got a greencard or something.There\'s a difference between forced marriage and arranged marriage.When my older sister got married here in the US, we looked around for guys for her, but we left the ultimate decision to her, as to whether she liked the guy or not..i am totally against forcing the girl to marry someone if she doesn\'t likethe guy because you\'re just ruining her life then..i\'ve seen many marriages here in the US, where both the guy and the girl have been raised here, but the guy still has the typical desi male mentality...the girl should be the guy\'s wife, not his servant, and she should be treated even better than his best friend, cuz she\'s his life partner.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 10:54 am

Lo! Praise the Lord! Miracles do happen!
 
 Archana and ChicagoDesi share a similar opinion on something! Theres still hope for peace in this world!

by **archana** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 12:54 am

ChicagoDesi,
 
 Its good that your sis was actually given a choice. I know there are families that give their daughters/sons choices, but the number of families that go for marriages without consent or those that are performed by emotional blackmail (like \"if you marry him you\'ll see my deadbody, etc\") are far too many. However lets hope for an overall change.

by **neeraja** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 2:04 pm

Archan, I differ your statement \"!! She\'s not a virgin, and to fool her mother-in-law who was waiting eagerly the morning after the marriage for the stained bedsheet, poured a bottle of blood on it during the night!! After coming to the US, all she is allowed to do is stay at home and have kitty parties with other similar\"
 
 It is not necessary for the female to bleed on her first night,,, its only a myth,, what you all thought.. home making is smiple or what.. the most tough job is home making// and not for working for Price water house\' of IBM.... I do agree archana boards are good and quite informative.. but having a Archan fan club or to say something about archan I dont see any thing great or worthy about it.. wake up dear people... dont flatter its only maya,,,

by **abbu sher** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 4:10 pm

archana aapa, the hyderabadi girls you are mentioning married at 14/15 is something at least 100 yrs ago; I have manni aapa in chicago whose two daughters have married at the ages of 24 and 26 to american boys and they converted to Islam.

by **ground_zero** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 8:12 pm

guys...theres one more boad about archana
 pls check it out!
 drop in ur lines

by **archana** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 11:37 pm

Geez Neeraja,
 

 
I never say anything without first hand information. Whatever I have in here were told to me by desi immigrants who have come on H4/spouse visa. Almost all of them had something similar to the bottle-of-blood story. One of them was harassed and tortured (even burnt on her hands) by her mom-in-law cuz she did not bleed (even tho she is a virgin) and right now she\'s in the process of getting a divorce. I have no reason to make statements just for the heck of it.

by **out there** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 3:54 am

talking about arranged marriages and cheating spouses...i posted a poll on http://www.justindian.com regarding this topic. You should check it out and post your votes! I am curious what %age of people are happily married and what %age of males/females in the indian community stray from their marriage!
 
 Archana, you should spread the word among your friends and have them vote too!

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