Some intercultural jokes...

by **lucifer_in_disguise** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 9:04 am

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them:
\\\"It\\\'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro.\\\"
\\\"Vot do you mean it\\\'z illegal?\\\" asks the German driver.
\\\"Quattro meansa four\\\" replies the Italian official.
\\\"Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile\\\", the Germans retort unbelievingly. \\\"Look at ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5
persons.\\\"
\\\"You can\\\'ta pulla thata one on me!\\\", replies the Italian customs agent. \\\"Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your
car and you are thereforea breaking the law.\\\"
The German driver replies angrily, \\\"You idiot! Call your zupervisor over, I vant to speak to somevone viz more intelligence!\\\"
\\\"Sorry\\\", responds the Italian official, \\\"he can\\\'ta come. He\\\'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.\\\"

by **Bhaimiya** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 10:38 pm

This is a transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US nasval ship with Candain authorities of the cost of Newfoundland.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degreee to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 deegrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collission.
Americans: This the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES\' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT\'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURE WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Candians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

by **Kulcha Hyderabadi** » Sun Jul 07, 2002 12:43 pm

A French is enjoying a hearty breakfast - coffee, croissants, toast, butter & jam, etc. when an American, chewing gum, sits next to him and starts an unwanted conversation:

American: \" You French eat the whole bread? \"
French : \" Of course \".
American (blowing bubble with his gum): \" We don\'t. In the States, we only eat what\'s inside. The crusts we collect in container, recycle, rebake them into croissants and sell them to France \".

American: \" D\'ya eat jam with the bread? \"
French : \" Of course \".
American (chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth) \" We don\'t. In the States we eat fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and left overs into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to France \".

French : \" Do you have sex in America? \"
American: \" Of course we do. \"
French : \" And what do you do with the condoms? \"
American: \" Throw them away of course \".
French : \" We don\'t. We put them in a container, recycle them, melt them into chewing gum and sell it to America

by **Kulcha Hyderabadi** » Sun Jul 07, 2002 3:01 pm

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:-------“Emma come first, Den I com. Den two asses, they come together. I come once-a-more, Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”---“You foul mouthed swine.” Retored the lady indignantly. “In this country (USA) we don’t talk about our sex lives in public”!-----“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man “Who’sa talking about sex? – I am justa tellin my friend how to spella “Mississippi!”

by **khajabi** » Sun Jul 07, 2002 7:39 pm

Kulcha, zara daekh ke, pata nahi kitne khai (vomit) kare yeh pad ke, specially, those who imagine \"pictures\".

by **khajabi** » Sun Jul 07, 2002 7:40 pm

Kulcha, zara daekh ke, pata nahi kitne khai (vomit) kare yeh pad ke, specially, those who imagine \"pictures\" or have habit of chewing gums.

by **khajabi** » Sun Jul 07, 2002 7:49 pm

Two Chinese were in Ludhyana on a visit, while returning home they forget the address of their hotel and stop by a signal to ask two (sardar) policemen. They tried all the languages, english, chinese, french, spanish....including the movement of hands, but unfortunately, these policemen know only punjabi, the tourist left disappointed. After few minutes, a policeman said to other, yaar santa, apne ko bhi toosri zaabanain seekh na chahiye, santa replied, to paagal hai banta, deakha nai un donoun ko, itni saree zabaanein aati thi unko magar kiya hoa.....

by **Shahed** » Mon Jul 08, 2002 6:29 pm

Two friends chatting to each other.. One : I have learned a magic during my holidays. Other:What was that ? One : If I pea on your face it will never b\'cum wet or dirty. Other: Hou cum can you show me One: Oh yes ! then he pissed on his face and it will b\'cum dirty and wet..Other: Angrily what you did you idiot , you fool bla..bla.. bla.. One with Innocent face : Sorry friend This magic does\'nt work sometimes.

by **Bhaimiya** » Tue Jul 09, 2002 9:47 pm

Movie on Gavaskar?
when Gavaskar finds out that there has been released, a movie, in Australia called \"Gavaskar\", he is very happy. He plans to watch it and gets a ticket for Australia at once.
With great difficulty he manages to get a ticket and very happily he goes to see the movie. But when he comes out of the cinema he is very angry!
He goes straight to the director of the movie and says, \"What do you mean by this? You name your movie \'Gavaskar\', but didn\'t show anything about me in it!\".
The director of the movie laughs and says, \"So now you understand the problem? You people too made a movie called \'Border\' but did you show anything about Allan Border in it?\"

by **Kulcha Hyderabadi** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 6:54 pm

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, \"What the hell do you guys think you are doing?\"..One of the Japanese men says, \"Cant you see, we are all hungry.\" The waitress says, \"so how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??\"\" One of the other businessmen replies: \"The menu say:FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!!\"

by **Ucchu Mian** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 7:12 pm

Kulcha Sait - this is the height of sarcasm!! for Japanese - were they originally from Ludhiana??? I enjoyed it much... Imagine the situation....my God...

by **vivek of themavericks.. remember!!** » Fri Jul 12, 2002 3:54 am

This would the best i bet...Santa wanted to earn a lot of money so he decided to go abroad and come back after 10 years with lot of money.His the same thing.After 10 years he returns to India and meets Banta.Santa is all rich which perplexes banta,he asks \" hey man what business did u do,which made you so rich?\" .Banta replied \" Nothing greta man... there every one so busy,that no one has time for sex,so i invented a device which would eject a hand when a 10 cent coin is dropped,that hand would shag the person till he ejaculates and then leaves...simple\".Santa says \"great yaar,even i wanna try it\".So santa goes abroad and come back after 10 year ... this time he is richer that Banta...he meets banta and Banta asks...\" my oh my look at you.. what did you do??\" Santa says...\" buddy,even i did that same thing as you did... only difference is... unless the person drops another 10 cents coin..the \" hand doesn`t leave the organ!!!???:):(:):*(\"

by **Kulcha Hyderabadi** » Sat Jul 13, 2002 1:21 pm

Have a load of this Vivek! - on the same subject:This guy has the habit of masturbating all the time, rather a professional masturbator!. One day he’s playing with himself while watching TV. He sees an ad about AUTOMATIC MILKING MACHINES. Guy loves the idea of buying one and let the machine do the job for him. He gets one through mail order, unpacks the machine, sticks his _ into one of the suction tubes and plugs it on. Whirrr whirr….. goes the machine and within a couple of minutes he ejaculates…. Great feeling, the best in years!, and he luvs it. Does it again. Ah! God, technology at its best! He\'s done for the day and wants to remove the suction tube, but cannot. The tube is clasped tight to his limp organ! Try as much as he could, but can’t get that damn thing off his _. God, what’s wrong? I cant walk around with this thing on me! He calls the mail-order agency and enquires as to how to remove the suction tube. Pat comes the reply, “Sir, its an automatic machine, once the sac gets 10 liters of milk, the tubes comes off automatically!!”

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