don't touch my baby.. well, ok but with a glove on

[akshay]

One of my very very close (best) friends, delivered a baby girl today. So I took some flowers and went to see the family. Every one was doing excellent.



They have an elder daughter (2 yrs), with whom I play a lot whenever we meet, and they dont mind. And we also have cookin dinners at least once every two weeks for last two years. We went to same univ too. So, we are real real close.



After seeing the new born I wanted to touch her, so I asked mom's permission. First she said "no". I was confused if she thought I didnt need to ask and said that in jest or if she was serious. Then upon her husband's prompting she said I can touch with a glove on. At that point I dint feel like doing it anymore.



Anyway I kind of felt let down by our friendship. How should I take this reaction from the mother? Should I take it as a reflection of their hidden perception about me or as a mother's instinct to protect her newborn?



In retrospect I now appreciate another friend of mine who asked me to touch her new born and regret having said no at that time as I was scared for the newborn.



Just thought it was interesting.

[CtrlAltDel]

i can think of the follwoing reasons:



1- maybe the baby's health was delicate n they wanted to protect it from any infection



2- maybe your hands were dirty



3- maybe she saw u digging your nose or scratching your crotch a minute before.



itta serious kyun leta re?

[KK]

If you are a smoker, it could be one of the reasons too.

[Bimbette]

I think you should just relax! She was just being protective of her new born.

[lonewolf]

Her behaviour was probably an off-shoot of post-partum depression. Just relax; don't let your friendship get affected because of this.

[Daddy HP]

Well Akshay...I can relate to your friend and his wife here. I'm a father to a girl less than a year old. When she was born, my wife would feel the same way about her and she used to get overprotective. So, let me reiterate what everyone else has said here. Its nothing serious. So chill!

[Sharjeel]

Ditto.



Furthermore, how could you conjure up the guts to actually touch a newborn? Of someone else? That is very bad manners and unhygenic (sp).



But they are soo cuuuuuuuuuuute!

[DRS]

Ditto.

Furthermore, how could you conjure up the guts to actually touch a newborn? Of someone else? That is very bad manners and unhygenic (sp).

But they are soo cuuuuuuuuuuute!

well she is being protective which is common, dont try to bridge a gap in ur friendship

[akshay]

CAD: "itta serius kyon leta re" sums up the solution to my mood.

KK: You got this bang right. I do smoke socially.

Bimbette: Thanks, I guess she was indeed being protective.

LW: Thanks buddy, we are way close to have it affect the friendship. Just found the whole episode against the flow.

HP: Chilled with your example. Thank you sir.

Shar: The new born was cleaned and tucked in a cozy blanket. It was not like she still had blood and placenta splattered all over and umbilical still exposed. She is cute man, way cute. Reminded me of my neice whose birth I missed. I do agree mother's reaction might have to do with hygiene.

DRS: I think she was protective and I dont take it as a gap in friendship, just that I didnt know this boundary existed.





I still contemplate if her reaction was selective but then your observations and suggesstions give an objective perspective.





Thank you.

[Sharjeel]

Shar: The new born was cleaned and tucked in a cozy blanket. It was not like she still had blood and placenta splattered all over and umbilical still exposed. She is cute man, way cute. Reminded me of my neice whose birth I missed. I do agree mother's reaction might have to do with hygiene.
DRS: I think she was protective and I dont take it as a gap in friendship, just that I didnt know this boundary existed.

I still contemplate if her reaction was selective but then your observations and suggesstions give an objective perspective.

:)



My very own sister loves me to bits, but she was so protective of little Aisha at her birth, that I only touched the blessed little Angel, when sister dearest herself asked me atleast three times.



Bhai, dost kuchh bhi ho, lekin bache ki baat alag rehti. It is infuriating sometimes, but it cannot be helped.

[akshay]

Thanks for putting that in context brother, I appreciate it.

[labelle]

new born babies are really very delicate and one needs to take immense care while others handle them. when a person comes from outside he/she might bring a lot of germs and dust that might be harmful for the baby since the immune system of the newly born is not that strong they might get infected by that. as Lonewolf said that there could be the post partum depression behind this. i remember when my sister gave birth to my nephew she was very angry on little reasons not known. this phase is very delicate for the baby and the mother. its always advisible to give some time to the mother and the baby so that they build up the strength. we can just term it as superstitions but in the past very few people were allowed to see the newly born baby and the mother, the scientific reasoning is given these days.

[akshay]

Thanks labelle, there is no one more an expert in human relations than you are. I appreciate your info.