Of love, Heartaches and Meaning of life

[xyz]

After a long wait when I finally met him I was so happy. But then, that joy was never meant to be for ever. Here I am, again, alone and sad.



They say time heals.. What if I dont want it to heal. What if I want to have the hurting coz that is the only thing associated with him, that I still have. If not happy, atleast I can be hurt.



This is how I felt, three years back, when I parted with him, for the first time.

***********************************************************





PROMISES...

In the darkest of times

I stand alone

Staring into the shadows

of time, of my actions

I think of no one but you, the memories of us

flash across my mind

And a tear rolls down my face

I retrace the path, longing to meet you,

at the place where

We parted with a promise,

never to meet again,

And I sigh and I think,

have I lost all I had

Or did I have anything at all...

I walk back alone and sad,

hoping to meet you again,

someday somewhere.

And a tear rolls down my face,

And I break a promise again...



************************************************************

And this is how I felt after I met him again after three years..





MIRAGE…



Deep down , well hidden lies dear soul,

beseeching to be freed from the mires,

barbed wires.

Waiting to savour the wonders, the colours, the works.

So bland the days, so quiet the nights, until

a lightning struck , a riot broke.

Marauding my very senses, those playful eyes…

Those eyes abode of thousand lamps,

looking straight into my soul, bathing me soothing me

with the luminescence of a dozen moons.

A smile that could breathe life into the dead.

A countenance that dawns upon me the realisation

when all of nature’s beauty is bedecked!





Oft I wonder, is he for real, is he but a mirage,

An enigma so humane, so near yet so far…

My ennui is now a thing of the past,

no gloom when there is his light,

a whirlwind abducted the silence,

And so dear to me, that there is no REMORSE.

The gift that he is for me, someone so precious,

someone so benign, thou endue strength,

revive hopes, instill joie de vivre, oh what a bliss!





For this light of my life, I would stand beside, reflect like a mirror

all that he has given me and some of my own…

but I fear to open my eyes, and say it out aloud

for it could be all gone, leaving me lone again,

to defend myself from the forces within… second …me …



**********************************************************

[Mayavi Morpheus]

aaaah... forget him. There is more fish in the pond and then there is the ocean.



FYI: I am single

[san]

[CtrlAltDel]

arrerererererererere...roti kyon ho muniya? kya hua?

[Agony Uncle HP]

First of all, the poetry was really heart-touching. Was it your own composition? If so, kudos.

After a long wait when I finally met him I was so happy. But then, that joy was never meant to be for ever. Here I am, again, alone and sad.

They say time heals.. What if I dont want it to heal. What if I want to have the hurting coz that is the only thing associated with him, that I still have. If not happy, atleast I can be hurt.

Well...you have a choice to stay hurt. But before making that choice, think about a few aspects of the scenario.



1. Is he the only person who is and was associated with you? If he isn't/wasn't, what about the others? (your parents, friends, siblings etc.) Always remember, its better to be loved than to love. So if there is anyone else in your life, spare a thought for him/her. He/she doesn't deserve to see you in hurt.



2. Whatever maybe the reason for him leaving you, the bottomline is that the two of you are not together. In such cases, its better to remove his thoughts from your conscious mind and move on with life rather than sticking to the past and getting hurt.



3. As I said earlier, choosing to be hurt all your life is entirely upto you and nobody can take that right away from you. But are you really a masochist by nature? Somewhere down the line, when time does heal, and I'm sure it will sooner or later, do you think you'll be able to justify the time you've lost hurting yourself?



Give a decent thought on these angles and you'll get an answer for yourself.



Cheers

[HH]

Hindi Song Title: Jeewan Ke Safar Mein Rahi
Hindi Movie/Album Name: MUNIMJI
Singer(s): KISHORE KUMAR


Jeewan Ke Safar Mein Rahi

Jeevan ke safar mein rahi *****
Milte hain bhichar jaane ko
Aur de jaate hain yaadein
Tanhaayi mein tadpaane ko

Ro ro ke inhi raahon mein
Khona pada ek apni ko
Ro ro ke inhi raahon mein
Khona pada ek apni ko
Has has ke inhi raahon mein
Apnaaya tha begaani ko

Jeevan ke safar mein rahi
Milte hain bhichar jaane ko
Aur de jaate hain yaadein
Tanhaayi mein tadpaane ko

Tum apni nayi duniya mein
Ho jao paraaye ban kar
Tum apni nayi duniya mein
Ho jao paraaye ban kar
Jee paaye to hum jee lenge
Marne ki saza paane ko

Jeevan ke safar mein rahi
Milte hain bhichar jaane ko
Aur de jaate hain yaadein
Tanhaayi mein tadpaane ko

Thank You : Mastani Laila

Visit:
http://www.hindilyrix.com/songs/get_son ... 0Rahi.html

What A Beautiful Apt Song! ... Meaningful ... Well Sung ... Haunting Music! ... ***** We Are Here For "Safar" / Life Journey ... NOT For "Suffer" ... Seek The ONE Within ... You'll Be At Peace ... With Yourself ... With Those Around You ... Someone Loving Will Surely Meet You ... And Continue Life's Journey ... All The Best ... And HAPPINESS!

[Portuguese Man-Of-War]

After a long wait when I finally met him I was so happy. But then, that joy was never meant to be for ever. Here I am, again, alone and sad.

They say time heals.. What if I dont want it to heal. What if I want to have the hurting coz that is the only thing associated with him, that I still have. If not happy, atleast I can be hurt.

I'd read that earlier thread, too (Promises?) - you're poems are quite good. I'd be very flattered if someone wrote something like this for me, and loved me this much .



I don't know what the context is, but if he is also in love with you, perhaps he now feels the same way. Or worse. Men are not that articulate with expressing sadness.



Good things happen to good people. Keep the faith.

[xyz]

After a long wait when I finally met him I was so happy. But then, that joy was never meant to be for ever. Here I am, again, alone and sad.

They say time heals.. What if I dont want it to heal. What if I want to have the hurting coz that is the only thing associated with him, that I still have. If not happy, atleast I can be hurt.

I'd read that earlier thread, too (Promises?) - you're poems are quite good. I'd be very flattered if someone wrote something like this for me, and loved me this much .

I don't know what the context is, but if he is also in love with you, perhaps he now feels the same way. Or worse. Men are not that articulate with expressing sadness.

Good things happen to good people. Keep the faith.

Thank you so much. Well, I am not sure anymore how that man feels for me. Come to think of it, it really doesnt matter anymore, although I still pray that he is happy and contented. As for me, I guess, I really am a masochist who thrives on pain and hurting. That part of me that loves him so much is now also filled with pain, I prefer that over emptiness. I would'nt know what to do with myself if I dont have even that.



I sort of have moved on, solely for the reason that he wouldve wanted me to but am still living for that moment when I can be with him again... I strongly beleive that we havent really parted....

[xyz]

Also, if the question is that by being this sad etc etc am I doing justice to the people around me? Having lost someone so dear I have really started to appreciate people who have loved me so much and who really care for me. Had he really been around, then wouldnt that be much nicer.. I couldve given so much more to my folks and society in whole... Now, whatever I do. there is still the discontentment and sadness. And will that go away with time? I think everything else but that will go away with time...

[xyz]

I try to follow what Khalil Gibran talked of love in his book, The Prophet. Here is an excerpt from that:



"When love beckons to you, follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep,

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.



And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.



For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.

Even as he is for your growth so he is for your pruning.



Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.



Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.



All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.



But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.



Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love posseses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.



When you love you should not say, GOD IS IN MY HEART,

but rather, I AM IN THE HEART OF GOD.

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, it it finds you worthy, directs your course.



Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:



To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.



To know the pain of too much tenderness.



To be wounded by your own understanding of love;



And to bleed willingly and joyfully.



To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;



To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstacy;



To return home at eventide with gratitude:

And then to sleep witn a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. "



Is'nt that just beautiful.

[Portuguese Man-Of-War]

Thank you so much. Well, I am not sure anymore how that man feels for me. Come to think of it, it really doesnt matter anymore, although I still pray that he is happy and contented. As for me, I guess, I really am a masochist who thrives on pain and hurting. That part of me that loves him so much is now also filled with pain, I prefer that over emptiness. I would'nt know what to do with myself if I dont have even that.

I sort of have moved on, solely for the reason that he wouldve wanted me to but am still living for that moment when I can be with him again... I strongly beleive that we havent really parted....

From what I make out from this, you want to be with him, so the reason you aren't together is that he doesn't want to be with you. It would be because either:



1. He doesn't love you, or

2. He does love you, but he's one of those confused commitment-phobes, or

3. He does love you, but there are some practical/ethical problems he can't do anything about.



Whichever the case, perhaps he's given you hints consciously or unconsciously. If it's the first case - that he doesn't love you - too bad. If it is the second, you should play some games with his head - talk to some of your more evolved female (or even male) friends . If it's the third, well, no one can say unless they know what the situation is - you should try asking yourself what his options are. And perhaps sympathize with him, since probably he's undergoing a similar heartbreak.

[HH]

The Eternal Evolution "Triangle" ...




* Imagine The Triangle ... With Three Points, "Life" ... "Love / Hate" ... "Death" ... With "God / Highest" As The Focus / "Centre Of Gravity" ...

* "Love" Of Life Keeps One Going / Growing! ... "Hate" Of Life / "Love" Of Death ... Pushes One Towards Evolution Through "Death"

* If Life Means "Association" And Death Means "Separation" ... Both Seem Natural ... In One's Eternal Journey Of Evolution Towards The "Highest" ... The Journey For Humans Began At The Best Point Of Evolution Of LIFE As Known ... Repeated Cycles ... Of Life & Death ... That's The Interest ... That's The Challenge ... For One's Evolution ... Through Stages Of Nobler Life ... To The Highest, Hopefully, In This Life Itself!

[veerender]

the actual fact is that xyz misses her friend a lot, so i think, instead of humilitating the situation let's talk less abt the fact of forgetting her boy..... evn i feel it's a sheer waste of time to lure of him after he got lostt.

but, you see. hope can heal some things and also time.......

sorry if i am opposing everyone here>>>>>?

but i mean to say understand XYZ yaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[xyz]

The Eternal Evolution "Triangle" ...


* Imagine The Triangle ... With Three Points, "Life" ... "Love / Hate" ... "Death" ... With "God / Highest" As The Focus / "Centre Of Gravity" ...

* "Love" Of Life Keeps One Going / Growing! ... "Hate" Of Life / "Love" Of Death ... Pushes One Towards Evolution Through "Death"

* If Life Means "Association" And Death Means "Separation" ... Both Seem Natural ... In One's Eternal Journey Of Evolution Towards The "Highest" ... The Journey For Humans Began At The Best Point Of Evolution Of LIFE As Known ... Repeated Cycles ... Of Life & Death ... That's The Interest ... That's The Challenge ... For One's Evolution ... Through Stages Of Nobler Life ... To The Highest, Hopefully, In This Life Itself!

Well, it all seems fine but I dont believe in rebirth or cycle of life... atleast not completly.... Anthing else you have to say to that?

[xyz]

Thank you so much. Well, I am not sure anymore how that man feels for me. Come to think of it, it really doesnt matter anymore, although I still pray that he is happy and contented. As for me, I guess, I really am a masochist who thrives on pain and hurting. That part of me that loves him so much is now also filled with pain, I prefer that over emptiness. I would'nt know what to do with myself if I dont have even that.

I sort of have moved on, solely for the reason that he wouldve wanted me to but am still living for that moment when I can be with him again... I strongly beleive that we havent really parted....

From what I make out from this, you want to be with him, so the reason you aren't together is that he doesn't want to be with you. It would be because either:

1. He doesn't love you, or
2. He does love you, but he's one of those confused commitment-phobes, or
3. He does love you, but there are some practical/ethical problems he can't do anything about.

Whichever the case, perhaps he's given you hints consciously or unconsciously. If it's the first case - that he doesn't love you - too bad. If it is the second, you should play some games with his head - talk to some of your more evolved female (or even male) friends . If it's the third, well, no one can say unless they know what the situation is - you should try asking yourself what his options are. And perhaps sympathize with him, since probably he's undergoing a similar heartbreak.

You have hit the bullseye... He doesnt want to be with me purely on ethical grounds. Now I cant actually get into the details here... but he is actually doing the right thing and thats what makes it so difficult for me.



Life is like that, doing the right thing is the most difficult thing to do, He is strong enough to make that decision and stick by it. While I am still holding onto the past.



Have you watched Kabhi Kabhi... It is so much like that.

[HH]

....

Well, it all seems fine but I dont believe in rebirth or cycle of life*****... atleast not completly.... Anthing else you have to say to that?

***** Evolution Is Independent Of "Belief" ... What Began As "The Cell" ... Evolved Into Multi-Cell Organisms / Complex Life Forms ... OVER STAGES & AGES ... Humans Are Special ... Thanks To The "Mother's Womb" ... Which Sees Evolution Of Ages Through Just Nine Months ... That's The Miracle Of Human Life ... Evolution To The "Highest" May Require More "Lives" ... MAY YOU ACHIEVE THIS GOAL IN THIS LIFE ITSELF! ... Greetings & ALL HAPPINESS To You & To All Around YOU!

[Peter Camenzind]

PROMISES...
In the darkest of times
I stand alone
Staring into the shadows
of time, of my actions
I think of no one but you, the memories of us
flash across my mind
And a tear rolls down my face
I retrace the path, longing to meet you,
at the place where
We parted with a promise,
never to meet again,
And I sigh and I think,
have I lost all I had
Or did I have anything at all...
I walk back alone and sad,
hoping to meet you again,
someday somewhere.
And a tear rolls down my face,
And I break a promise again...

************************************************************
And this is how I felt after I met him again after three years..

I think this is english version of the Yandamuri virendranath's Title "Vennello AAdapilla" In which at the climax a tear rolls down hero's face saying all that u above said....is it right..

[xyz]

PROMISES...
In the darkest of times
I stand alone
Staring into the shadows
of time, of my actions
I think of no one but you, the memories of us
flash across my mind
And a tear rolls down my face
I retrace the path, longing to meet you,
at the place where
We parted with a promise,
never to meet again,
And I sigh and I think,
have I lost all I had
Or did I have anything at all...
I walk back alone and sad,
hoping to meet you again,
someday somewhere.
And a tear rolls down my face,
And I break a promise again...

************************************************************
And this is how I felt after I met him again after three years..

I think this is english version of the Yandamuri virendranath's Title "Vennello AAdapilla" In which at the climax a tear rolls down hero's face saying all that u above said....is it right..

Please..... Shakespeare is my inspiration. Besides I cant read telugu!

[Peter Camenzind]

PROMISES...
In the darkest of times
I stand alone
Staring into the shadows
of time, of my actions
I think of no one but you, the memories of us
flash across my mind
And a tear rolls down my face
I retrace the path, longing to meet you,
at the place where
We parted with a promise,
never to meet again,
And I sigh and I think,
have I lost all I had
Or did I have anything at all...
I walk back alone and sad,
hoping to meet you again,
someday somewhere.
And a tear rolls down my face,
And I break a promise again...

************************************************************
And this is how I felt after I met him again after three years..

I think this is english version of the Yandamuri virendranath's Title "Vennello AAdapilla" In which at the climax a tear rolls down hero's face saying all that u above said....is it right..

Please..... Shakespeare is my inspiration. Besides I cant read telugu!

Okey! Okey!... May be Yandamuri has copied from the Shakespeare

[Blunt as a potato wedge HP]

As for me, I guess, I really am a masochist who thrives on pain and hurting.

Think again. You enjoyed life when he was around you. And you even enjoyed it during those 3 years of separation because of the hope of being with him again. So here's some food for thought. When, apart from now, have you thrived on pain? And if you were really were a masochist, why did you enjoy the happiness and lack of pain when he was around and when you had hope? Ask yourself again. Are you really a masochist?

That part of me that loves him so much is now also filled with pain, I prefer that over emptiness. I would'nt know what to do with myself if I dont have even that.

The known devil's better than the unknown one....eh? But are you so sure that the unknown is a devil? I'll tell you what to do when emptiness takes over you; when you don't have the pain with you. Go around and look for a nice fragrant bouquet of flowers to remove the emptiness. The garden of life is full of them. [Back-patting mode]And yeah....choose your inspirations carefully. An optimist like me is always better than the tragedophile Shakespeare.[/Back-patting mode].

[Puzzled]Why the eff am I so eloquent today? Is it just the ayurveda of nirvana?[/Puzzled]

I sort of have moved on, solely for the reason that he wouldve wanted me to but am still living for that moment when I can be with him again... I strongly beleive that we havent really parted....

Don't you think that's self-contradictory?

[HH]

Be Practical ... Better Like / Love One Who Loves / Adores You! - LIVE LIFE WELL!

[Mayavi Morpheus]

Grieving is a process... it takes time. Don't try to forget him. Do everything that would remind you of him... inflict more pain on yourself. Don't try to cheer yourself up. Flowers wont make you happy when you dont want to be happy.



As the days pass by you would be in pain but you will forget the reason behind it. You wont feel the pain even if you want to (thats why they say time heals pain I guess) and no matter how hard you try, you wont feel a thing. You will have moved on.



So yes gal, go ahead and wallow in your misery, for when you look back in your life these are the moments that will remind you that at some point in your life you have truly and unselfishly (??) loved someone.

[xyz]

Each and everyone of you who replied on this Board.. Thanks a lot. Some of you have been symapthetic (i think empathetic), some practical and some very funny( which helped me too).





I know I sound like a masochist, infact claimed to be one too. May be for the lack of any other word, I had to use that adjective to desribe me. But here is the real truth.



Yes.. I was, and still am in love with a person and unfortunately I couldnt be with him. Three very good years of my life, I spent thinking of him. Was looking forward to meeting with him. When the meeting finally happened it was great. It brought immense happiness to me but that was short lived. I was totally heartbroken and felt that there was nothing to look forward to life anymore. Became numb towards all joy and suffering. That state of my mind scared the shit out of me. I was so hurt that I couldnt feel anything anymore. Mind you, I was not in a state of denial. And I spent every minute after that trying to feel the pain that I felt when I first lost him. And that didnt hppen. I questioned myself, if he came back would I be happy... and shockingly, I did not have an answer to that.



I just seemed to have lost any kind of connection I had with him. The three years I spent thinking of him, in pain, were much better than what I am going through right now.



I have a great professional life (thats what people tell me!) and a even more promising career path ahead of me. I am healthy and not so bad looking. But I guess... thats all I have, all materialistic, tangible stuff. I know some even dont have that.. But I envy those people who have had a life of abject poverty yet had someone to share that life with. They werent alone!!!!

[xyz]

Grieving is a process... it takes time. Don't try to forget him. Do everything that would remind you of him... inflict more pain on yourself. Don't try to cheer yourself up. Flowers wont make you happy when you dont want to be happy.

As the days pass by you would be in pain but you will forget the reason behind it. You wont feel the pain even if you want to (thats why they say time heals pain I guess) and no matter how hard you try, you wont feel a thing. You will have moved on.

So yes gal, go ahead and wallow in your misery, for when you look back in your life these are the moments that will remind you that at some point in your life you have truly and unselfishly (??) loved someone.

You are so right MM. I mean before I went through all of this, I would advice the same to my freinds. Going through the grieving process is actually good coz it acts like catharsis, sort of purifies one soul altogether. But.. I was'nt telling the complete when I said that I was hurting and in pain. I was so much in pain that I couldnt feel the pain anymore. You see what I am saying. Like someone said, I am "self" (hee hee) contradicting. May be I am ultra super confused... May be I am just on the verge of losing it completly... God help me!!!

[mayumi]

I have a great professional life (thats what people tell me!) and a even more promising career path ahead of me. I am healthy and not so bad looking. But I guess... thats all I have, all materialistic, tangible stuff. I know some even dont have that.. But I envy those people who have had a life of abject poverty yet had someone to share that life with. They werent alone!!!!

very true! but I guess we'll come to that, it's just isn’t our time yet so instead of drowning urself with the fact that u dont have someone to love u, just enjoy life as it is and focus on ur job for it is really a big help when u have something to keep u busy. I understand what u're going thru, that it's not really easy to get over with someone whom u love and loved for a long time. See, even for the past 3 yrs u weren't able to forget him bcoz of hopes that u can still have him? Well, if a man loves u nothing can keep him away but if he doesn't nothing can make him stay! Isn't it we can avoid misery and sadness if we don't wanna feel it? I mean there are things beyond our control like a sudden pain cause by breakups etc etc but the fact that this is already happening or it has already happened and u still allow urself to embrace the pain is something which is in our control. If u prefer misery over emptiness then that's ur choice, and if the only thing that cud make u feel good is the memories of him then that's also fine....all these are ur decision and nobody can help u but urself. If u want to stick with the past u will be sad forever, not unless this guy comes back to u....try to give urself a chance to date other guys coz I am sure he's not the most perfect man in the world....again it is ur decision, Good luck!



I dont believe in a saying that "love is never to find, u shud wait for it"