Love or arranged marraiges?

[niru]

Love marriage!!!! hummm.. ignoring the parents who gave birth to u and forgetting your responsibility towards your GODS(parents) and going with the one who came in between you life.... I dont think this is right.... what you get from this love marriage? U r parents unhappy, u r unhappy.. is that necessary? Better go for arranged marriage , understand and adjust with u r new partner.. that will may every one happy.. Live happily.. make others also happy.

[uknagaram]

I think there is essentailly no difference in the outcome (love or happines) of an arranged Vs Love-marriages in India. There is no wrong or right. If the marriage is against the wishes of the parents,is a different issue. A lot of it depends on each and every individual case. Caste, religion and cultural difference are still prevelant in India. The parent thinks their child will have problems dealing/adjusting with the spouse\'s family which may result in problems in their marriage. They are sometimes correct and sometimes wrong. Remember that even in Love-marriages, differences do not surface until the couple is married and living together.

[hardcoder]

yeah lucifer, you are right! my viewpoint harbors on the idea that you can\'t spend the rest of your life with a stranger, how on earth can you live together with a person you have not loved before, as in arranged marriages?

[Radha]

Kulcha bhai, \"Marriage is a sacred institution and as such requires a high degree of tolerence, understanding of each other, respecting each others feelings, wants and desires.\" So, here comes the point then why the DIVORCE RATE HIGH IN WEST, ARE THE PEOPLE ARE DUMB, SENSELESS, OR EDUCATED ANIMALS, THEY DONT UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY DONT RESPECT THE FEELINGS? ACCORDING TO LUCIFIER AND HARDCORE IN WEST BEFORE MARRIAGE THEY WANT TO KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL THEN GET MARRIED, SO THAT THEY TOGETHER LIVE HAPPILIY. ARE THEY LIVING HAPPILY? IF THE SITUATION IS THIS, THERE SHOULD BE VERY LESS DIVORCE CASES, CAUSE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL SINCE YEARS. BUT THIS IS NOT THE TRUTH, AFTER KNOWING EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG STILL DIVORCE. WHAT DOES IT MEANS. HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS POINT.

[Radha]

NIRU, thanks for your comments, they are thinking that they are only the educated people in the world. According to them the educated people should not respect their parents or their wishes or desires. And they can divorce, kick away the opposite sex any time they wanted, CAUSE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER FROM VERY LONGTIME, THEY LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY ARE VERY GOOD FREINDS.

[Kulcha Hyderabadi]

Radha Ji, we are going in circles! Comparison of divorce rate between West and India will not be accurate for the simple reason because women in India are still too dependant on men, plus divorce is not seen as a good thing. Therefore, long lasting marriages does not mean that spouses are happy with each other. It could be a compromise for there is no other choice! Please read my earlier posting in this regard. By the way, let me update you on some startling statistics from the Gulf. The current rate of divorce in Saudi Arabia is alarmingly high. Higher than many western countries. 99% marriages in the Arab world are \"Arranged\". You see, its the abuse of the institution that leads to divorce, not how one gets married.

[Bhaimiya]

Radha: Chodien aap, kuch logon ko samjhana bahut hi mushkeel hota hey..........

[Radha]

Kulcha bhai, With regard to the divorce rate in saudi arabia you know better, its not love marriages nor its arrange marriages, nor it is illiteracy. Back to the point i asked you IF IN THE WEST THEY KNOW EACH OTHER FOR VERY LONG TIME BEFORE MARRIAGE THEN WHY DIVORCE ? They dont break friend ship more often than the marriage, you think this is only because they have some problems? i think this is because of lust, to have a new partner, new relationship for >>>>>>>>>.. (you know what i want to say). Sorry if i have used some nasty words.

[Shahed]

Trust....Respect......Love......Patience.....&..... Understanding ............... These are necessary tools to make a married life successful in both the cases. Problems occurs anytime after the marriage but they can be solved with above tools, lacking may leads to divorce or frustrated life . Love marriages initially hurts the parents but later on they(Parents) will be satisfy to see the couples living happily and vice versa .The samething applies in case of arranged marriage.
So for me no matter whether it is a arranged or love marriage .. the point is it will become successsful only when they have utilized the above tools in a proper way.

[Kulcha Hyderabadi]

GO TO THIS LINK: http://63.175.194.25/index.php?formtran ... &x=15&y=11

[vikram]

hey guys there is a problem in understanding here.....please seperate love from marriage.....true love need not end in marriage

[vikram]

hello radha good point.....but here is an counter arguement....does the fact that divorce percentage is less indicate that people are happy in marriage???i don\'t think so ...in indian society a divorceee does not have any respect... thats why women don\'t even come out to tell about their miseries....in the west its an open society where women can survive in the society alone......so the point is not about divorces here......

[Flyhigh \" fullhyd\"]

Dear Radha

Love marriages and arranged marriages are not different,but the consent of parents.In love marriage you first love and then ask for their permission and whereas in arranged marrige you first get the permission and you select and try buling a relation, or love or whatever after the parents permission.

Arranged mean, still you have options and you can select from the big list !
Secondly you can even chat for while and know about him/her.

Arranged means convienient !

So arranged is like post love or love is pre arraged .

[ram]

hello
radha
i agree with ur words as i think arrange marrieges r better than love as if any problems or misunderstanding happens between both then the elders will talk about the topic and solve the problem so i think arrange marrieges r best

[Radha]

kulcha hyderabadi, thanks for diverting to the site, so what do you understand, i know you want to say that love marriages are permissible, and will be the successful ones. Ok here comes the point DO YOU THINK THE LOVE WE ARE DISCUSSING BEFORE MARRIAGE IS THE ONE MENTIONED, YOU THINK NOW A DAYS SPECIALLY IN WEST THIS IS THE MEANING OF LOVE? IT IS CLEARLY MENTIONED \"if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship,Moreover, these illicit relationships that take place before marriage will be a cause to make each party doubtful about the other. The husband will think that his wife may possibly have a similar relationship with someone else, and even if he thinks it unlikely, he will still be troubled by the fact that his wife did do something wrong with him. And the same thoughts may occur to the wife too, and she will think that her husband could possibly have an affair with another woman, and even if she thinks it unlikely, she will still be troubled by the fact that her husband did something wrong with her.

So each partner will live in a state of doubt and suspicion, which will ruin their relationship sooner or later.

The husband may condemn his wife for having agreed to have a relationship with him before marriage, which will be upsetting for her, and this will cause their relationship to deteriorate.

Hence we think that if a marriage is based upon an illicit premarital relationship, it will most likely be unstable and will not be successful.(and now a days you know better that love means, getting together, going out, sitting together alone etc....) And i think this is self explanatory.

[Kulcha Hyderabadi]

My opinion is still that regardless of how we end up marrying, the real test begins after marriage and only those marriages are \'HAPPY\" notice not \"LONG LASTING\" in which both spouses respect, love and care for each other. Divorce is another issue. We cannot compare between West and India simply because the social and cultural conditions are entirely different in these regions. About the link, I referred it for those who are interested, to get another point of view. Thanks anyway.

[The fullhyd.com moderator]

Hi Radha and everyone else: Always make sure that you leave your email address with every post. This will help us identify fraudulent posts made with your name, since email addresses are visible only to us and the person who makes posts on your name cannot leave your email address behind (since he doesn\'t know it). Still, if someone posts messages on your name, make a post below that message that it isn\'t yours, and we\'ll verify and remove the message. Cheers!

[Radha]

The fullhyd.com moderator: Thank you very much for your support and advice definetly if i find some one using my name i will report it immediately.

[cacofonus]

keep up the good work fullhyd.com moderator...the other days i was wondering..any body could easily post any rubbish on this site...now i understand

[cacofonus]

divorces happen both in love as well as arranged marriages...then why r ppl discussing abt the divorse percentages...and coming to western marriages..they have high percentage of divorse %age bcuz...women there a economically independent...but here in india..90% of the women r dependent on their husbands...this is the only reason why divorse %age in our country is less...our culture and tradition play a very minor role...

[gustakh]

Kulcha makes interesting points..Divorces have a lot to do with your social and cultural environment. Where survival depends on your spouse, its difficult to walk away from an abusive relationships. In the west, apart from independence, there are generations of people who grew up in seperated homes. As kids, they have seen their parents split-up for a variety of reasons and society does not reject them. They have precedence for their actions later in their lives. In India, society extracts a very high toll from divorced people - esp. the women. However, this goes towards a tolerance of divorce in society and the ease of getting it, not a cause. Loving couples should go through issues dear to them yet have an opposing point of view. The compassion and respect that they afford to their partner in the resolution of such issues gives an indication of the happiness and stability of their marriage in the future.

[Unbiased]

Mr. Moderator, you are assuming its only males who post fraudalent messages! Please dont limit to your observation to only one gender. Thanks

[I give a damn]

but still you cannot explain why the divorce rate in arab world is higher... to me your opinions seem highly prejudiced, Radha...