jokes,oneliners.hope these are funny lol.

[fusion]

1. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

2. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

3. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

4. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

5. There are two theories to arguing with women.Neither one works.

6. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer

7. Sex is like air. It isn't important unless you're not getting any.

8. Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence

9. I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.

10.Women are like hurricanes: when they come they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take the house and the car.

[fusion]

A lady who lives in Madras

Has a truly magnificent ass.

It is not round and pink,

As you probably think,

But is grey, has long ears, and eats grass.





Kissing is a habit,

_ is a game.

Boys get all the pleasure,

Girls get all the pain.



He says that he loves you,

And you believe it's true,

But when your stomach starts to swell,

He says to hell with you.



15 minutes of pleasure,

9 months of pain,

3 days in the hospital,

A baby with no name.



The baby is a bastard,

The mother is a whore.

It never would have happened,

If the rubber hadn't tore.









There was a young girl from Sofire.

Who succumbed to her lover's desire.

She said, "It's a sin,

But now that it's in,

Could you shove it a few inches higher?"



I'm sure you can imagine

As plain as can be

The place is Piccadilly

The players He and She.



She whispered "will it hurt me?"

"Of course not" answered he

"It's a very simple process,

You can rely on me."



She said "I'm very frightened,

I've not had this before.

My friend has had it five times

And said it can be sore".



Then finally contended

Lay back and relax a bit

Quickly and readily he bent over her

And then he started it.



It was growing rather painful

Tears formed in her eyes

It was hurting quite a bit now

It must have been quite a size.



"Calm yourself" he whispered

His face was filled with a grin

"Try and open a bit wider

So I can get it in".



"It's coming now" he whispered

"I know" she cried in bliss

Feeling it deep within her now

She said "I am glad I am having this".



And with a final effort

She gave a frightened shout

He gripped it in anguish

And quickly pulled it out.



She lay back quite contended

Sighed and gave a smile

She said "I'm glad I came now

You made it worth my while".



Now if you read this carefully

The dentist you will find

Is not what you imagined

It's just your dirty mind!

[Sharjeel]

A lady who lives in Madras
Has a truly magnificent ass.
It is not round and pink,
As you probably think,
But is grey, has long ears, and eats grass....

Apart from this, the rest of your poems justified the subject you gave to your post. Pathetic peoms...