Photo copies!
A Manager of the branch bank found he had no space left to store old records.
He wrote to his regional manager Banta to for permission to destroy old records.
Banta Singh replied back: "I do not mind your destroying old records but please make sure you keep photo-copies of all the destroyed papers".
Humor...or something like it.
Moderator: The Moderator Team
4-letter words !!
Banta and Preeto got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Preeto immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Banta started using the most horrible language...things I`d never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You`ve got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!"
"Preeto, Preeto," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don`t make me tell you, mama," wept Preeto, "I`m so embarrassed they`re just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"You must tell me what has you so upset....Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, Preeto said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
Banta and Preeto got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Preeto immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Banta started using the most horrible language...things I`d never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You`ve got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!"
"Preeto, Preeto," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don`t make me tell you, mama," wept Preeto, "I`m so embarrassed they`re just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"You must tell me what has you so upset....Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, Preeto said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
-
Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
Banta`s Son in Law!
A young man approached Banta for the hand of his daughter.
Banta knew that the fellow earned nothing and was a loafer.
`I do not want my daughter to spend all her life with a gadha (donkey),` he told the suitor.
`I know,` replied the young man, `that is why I want to marry her.`
A young man approached Banta for the hand of his daughter.
Banta knew that the fellow earned nothing and was a loafer.
`I do not want my daughter to spend all her life with a gadha (donkey),` he told the suitor.
`I know,` replied the young man, `that is why I want to marry her.`
-
Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
Hand baggage...
Santa boarded a crowded bus with a bagful of purchases. There was no vacant seat. As the old bus rattled and swayed, he supported himself precariously, holding the bag in one hand, the other hand holding the bar provided near the cieling.
"Ticket...ticket.....ticket," the conductor made several rounds past Santa. His wallet in his hip pocket and both hands engaged, Banta did not know what to do.
"Ticket, sir," the conductor asked again.
Santa thrust the bag into conductors hand and stuggled to take his wallet out, when the conductor protested: "I cannot be carrying passenger s baggage like this- I am the conductor."
"Okay, then give me the bag, and here, will you please hold the bar," replied Banta.
Santa boarded a crowded bus with a bagful of purchases. There was no vacant seat. As the old bus rattled and swayed, he supported himself precariously, holding the bag in one hand, the other hand holding the bar provided near the cieling.
"Ticket...ticket.....ticket," the conductor made several rounds past Santa. His wallet in his hip pocket and both hands engaged, Banta did not know what to do.
"Ticket, sir," the conductor asked again.
Santa thrust the bag into conductors hand and stuggled to take his wallet out, when the conductor protested: "I cannot be carrying passenger s baggage like this- I am the conductor."
"Okay, then give me the bag, and here, will you please hold the bar," replied Banta.
-
Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
Santa losing weight?
The doctor told Santa that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
What is the problem?" asked the doctor.
I am 2400 kms from home."
The doctor told Santa that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
What is the problem?" asked the doctor.
I am 2400 kms from home."
-
Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
What happened in 1872 ??
Teacher: `Tell me Banta what important event took place in 1869?`
Banta: `Gandhiji was born that year.`
Teacher: `Good Banta! Now tell me what happened in 1872?`
Banta: `Gandhiji was three years old!`
Teacher: `Tell me Banta what important event took place in 1869?`
Banta: `Gandhiji was born that year.`
Teacher: `Good Banta! Now tell me what happened in 1872?`
Banta: `Gandhiji was three years old!`
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Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
The missed deal
Santa and Banta are visting London for the first time. They see a sign reading, "Suits Pound 15, Shirts Pound 2, Trousers Pound 3."
"Wow," says Banta. "we should snap up some of these bargains and sell them at a profit when we get home."
Santa agrees and they go into the shop.
"Twenty suits, 50 shirts and 30 pairs of trousers, please," says Santa to the assitant behind the counter.
"You`re not from around here, are you?" said the assistant.
"No," answered Banta. "How did you know?"
The assistant replies, "This is a dry cleaners."
Santa and Banta are visting London for the first time. They see a sign reading, "Suits Pound 15, Shirts Pound 2, Trousers Pound 3."
"Wow," says Banta. "we should snap up some of these bargains and sell them at a profit when we get home."
Santa agrees and they go into the shop.
"Twenty suits, 50 shirts and 30 pairs of trousers, please," says Santa to the assitant behind the counter.
"You`re not from around here, are you?" said the assistant.
"No," answered Banta. "How did you know?"
The assistant replies, "This is a dry cleaners."
-
Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
Aajich mail mein aaya...
1) Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c. Tell me an example.
Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.
2) A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness,
Opportunity, Threat) Analysis.
He said, my strength is my wife.
My weakness is my neighbours wife.
Opportunity comes when neighbour goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out
3)Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"
1) Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c. Tell me an example.
Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.
2) A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness,
Opportunity, Threat) Analysis.
He said, my strength is my wife.
My weakness is my neighbours wife.
Opportunity comes when neighbour goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out
3)Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
-
akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
All thanks to BW for these:
*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at ht:tubgirl.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'
<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o...k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall
<Spazz> Seems like when I say "_" you get an EOF error
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> _
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> _
<Spazz> _
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> _
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >:)
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying _
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying fukc
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> _*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says _ and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at ht:tubgirl.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'
<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o...k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall
<Spazz> Seems like when I say "_" you get an EOF error
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> _
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> _
<Spazz> _
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> _
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >:)
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying _
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying fukc
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> _*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says _ and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
"Consequences, shmonsequences! So long as I'm rich!" - Daffy Duck.
-
Sharjeel - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3851
- Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:09 pm
- Location: Hyderabadi in Nagpur (and vice-versa)
Thats was from a wbesite which BW gave me.Ar!e$ wrote:^^ wht was dat ^^
Those are funny conversations from Yahoo and AIM and ICQ, etc. There are a lot more of them on bash.org
"Consequences, shmonsequences! So long as I'm rich!" - Daffy Duck.
-
Sharjeel - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3851
- Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:09 pm
- Location: Hyderabadi in Nagpur (and vice-versa)
Stuppid!Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Thats was from a wbesite which BW gave me.Ar!e$ wrote:^^ wht was dat ^^
Those are funny conversations from Yahoo and AIM and ICQ, etc. There are a lot more of them on bash.org
oh ok..
"Consequences, shmonsequences! So long as I'm rich!" - Daffy Duck.
-
Sharjeel - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3851
- Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:09 pm
- Location: Hyderabadi in Nagpur (and vice-versa)
Sharjeel wrote:Stuppid!Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Thats was from a wbesite which BW gave me.Ar!e$ wrote:^^ wht was dat ^^
Those are funny conversations from Yahoo and AIM and ICQ, etc. There are a lot more of them on bash.org
oh ok..
stupid honga khud
-
Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
Kaun stuppid hai woh dikhta.Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Stuppid!Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Thats was from a wbesite which BW gave me.Ar!e$ wrote:^^ wht was dat ^^
Those are funny conversations from Yahoo and AIM and ICQ, etc. There are a lot more of them on bash.org
oh ok..
stupid honga khud
"Consequences, shmonsequences! So long as I'm rich!" - Daffy Duck.
-
Sharjeel - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3851
- Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:09 pm
- Location: Hyderabadi in Nagpur (and vice-versa)
:PAr!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Usi din ka to intezaar hai!Ar!e$ wrote:tum milo i'l show u whoes more stupid....
i hope no one reads this thread..
"Consequences, shmonsequences! So long as I'm rich!" - Daffy Duck.
-
Sharjeel - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3851
- Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:09 pm
- Location: Hyderabadi in Nagpur (and vice-versa)
Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Usi din ka to intezaar hai!Ar!e$ wrote:tum milo i'l show u whoes more stupid....
yep, we are not reading... go right ahead and say whatever u want to say to him.
May the Fries be with you!
-
Mayavi Morpheus - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3201
- Joined: Fri May 30, 2003 7:42 am
- Location: 30° 27' North ; 91° 08' West
Mayavi Morpheus wrote:Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Usi din ka to intezaar hai!Ar!e$ wrote:tum milo i'l show u whoes more stupid....
yep, we are not reading... go right ahead and say whatever u want to say to him.
lol yikess...
-
Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
arey ruk kyon gaye...bolo bolo...Ar!e$ wrote:Mayavi Morpheus wrote:Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Usi din ka to intezaar hai!Ar!e$ wrote:tum milo i'l show u whoes more stupid....
yep, we are not reading... go right ahead and say whatever u want to say to him.
lol yikess...
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
-
akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of
biblical proportions.
You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his life,
trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer
. . . somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's George W. Bush! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to pull him under.
You have two options--
you can save the life of G.W. Bush
or
you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.
So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of
biblical proportions.
You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his life,
trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer
. . . somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's George W. Bush! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to pull him under.
You have two options--
you can save the life of G.W. Bush
or
you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.
So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings 
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
-
CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
akhilis2cool wrote:arey ruk kyon gaye...bolo bolo...Ar!e$ wrote:Mayavi Morpheus wrote:Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Usi din ka to intezaar hai!Ar!e$ wrote:tum milo i'l show u whoes more stupid....
yep, we are not reading... go right ahead and say whatever u want to say to him.
lol yikess...
kia bolna...
-
Ar!e$ - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3683
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:30 pm
- Location: !n Ur HeArT$...
wohich jiAr!e$ wrote:akhilis2cool wrote:arey ruk kyon gaye...bolo bolo...Ar!e$ wrote:Mayavi Morpheus wrote:Ar!e$ wrote:Sharjeel wrote:Usi din ka to intezaar hai!Ar!e$ wrote:tum milo i'l show u whoes more stupid....
yep, we are not reading... go right ahead and say whatever u want to say to him.
lol yikess...
kia bolna...
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
-
akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
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