by jungle » Sat Oct 01, 2005 12:45 pm
Ah drunk people...will they ever say what they mean? Below you'll find some common drunk phrases and what they translate to in sober language. I hope this helps you gauge whether or not it's a good idea to let your buddy in the car when he claims he's "totally fine, dude."
(Drunk Term = Sober Translation)
I LOVE This Song! = I KNOW This Song!
Dude, all the chicks at this party are ugly = Dude none of the chicks at this party will talkto me.
Man, I'm hungry = Man, if I don't eat right now I am going to be puking all over this bar...again.
Your're really pretty = I'm going to be ashamed of it tomorrow but tonight is all about instant gratification, honey.
Want to watch a movie = Want to come over to my room for some extremely creepy back rubbing and some equally disturbing neck nibbling?
I'm soooo drunk = I'm planting a see in your head that will eventually grow into a beautiful tree which excuses me from blame for my actions tonight.
I just, like, want to help animals, ya know? = I just, like, want to get in your pants, ya know?
Your're my best friend, man = Your'r my only friend in arm's reach right now and I need someone to pay for this shot, man.
I don't want to ruin the friendship = Your're a nice girl but your're very heavy and I'd rather pretend I value our friendship than spend tomorrow dreaming up ways to kill myself.
This is the BEST night of my LIFE! = This is the BEST night of my WEEKEND!
Let's take a walk, this bar is crowded = I prefer my handjobs outdoors.
I'm totally fine, dude = I'm totally going to be needing a toilet or bucket in about five minutes, dude.
What's up Bro? = What's up, guy who's name I can't ever remember?
Who wants to dance? = Who wants to watch me stumble around the party, waving my arms, spilling my drink and pile driving my genitals into anything wearing a skirt?
Hey, did you get the notes from Bio? = Hey, I'm going to ask you about class because I'm too scared to ask you out.
I had, like, ten beers before I even came out = I'm, like, the kind of guy that lies about how much i drink.
Dude, I didn't even make it out of the dorms last night! = Dude, my girlfriend made me stay in and watch teh Gilmore Girls season 1 DVD with her last night!
Now, seriously, who wants to watch a movie?
