akhilis2cool wrote:kya post kare miyaan?ycr007 wrote:www.davesdaily.com
Lotsa Fun Stuff there, so instead of Ctrl+ c & Ctrl+v'ing,i posted da link
Humor...or something like it.
Moderator: The Moderator Team
wokay....back on topic: 
Four men went golfing one day. After a good game, three of them headed to the lounge and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
The fourth man joined them at the lounge after a few minutes. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."
Four men went golfing one day. After a good game, three of them headed to the lounge and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
The fourth man joined them at the lounge after a few minutes. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."
-
CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:
Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
What do you mean, he's not insured?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
What do you mean, he's not insured?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
one old schooldays wallah joke...
New lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, "Let's start with the boys first." Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubbles in the bathtub."
Teacher was puzzled but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In fact we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Joseph and my hobby is to see bubbles in the bathtub."
Teacher was more puzzled and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next."
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubbles in the bathtub."
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."
This continues, and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubbles in the bathtub."
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach such childish boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."
First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl."
Most beautiful girl of the class: "Ma'm, my name is Bubbles, and my hobby is to soak in the bath tub thrice a day."
New lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, "Let's start with the boys first." Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubbles in the bathtub."
Teacher was puzzled but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In fact we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Joseph and my hobby is to see bubbles in the bathtub."
Teacher was more puzzled and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next."
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubbles in the bathtub."
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."
This continues, and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubbles in the bathtub."
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach such childish boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."
First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl."
Most beautiful girl of the class: "Ma'm, my name is Bubbles, and my hobby is to soak in the bath tub thrice a day."
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings 
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
-
CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
This One's an Old one and is already here I think.......
TEACHER: Why are you late?
JOHNNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
JOHNNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johnny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHNNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHNNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
JOHNNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johnny, who discovered America?
JOHNNY: George!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
JOHNNY: Me!
TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
JOHNNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
JOHNNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
JOHNNY: Your name on this report card.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOHNNY! : Don't bite any.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
JOHNNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Always say, "I am."
JOHNNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Johnny: Brotherly love.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: What do you call a person who! keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Johnny : A teacher
TEACHER: Why are you late?
JOHNNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
JOHNNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johnny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHNNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHNNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
JOHNNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johnny, who discovered America?
JOHNNY: George!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
JOHNNY: Me!
TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
JOHNNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
JOHNNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
JOHNNY: Your name on this report card.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOHNNY! : Don't bite any.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
JOHNNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Always say, "I am."
JOHNNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Johnny: Brotherly love.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: What do you call a person who! keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Johnny : A teacher
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
Choo Chweet one.......
Q. What's Rahul Dravid's latest statement about Dada?
A. "In the pavilion, first there's God and then there's Dada".
Q. What's Dada's favorite Engilsh movie?
A. Gone in 60 Seconds
Q. Whats Dada's favorite hindi movie?
A. AA Aab laut chalen.
Q. Whats Dada's favorite song?
A. Ek pal ka Jeena .. Phir to hai jana (Kaho na pyar hai)
Q. Whats Dada's favorite food?
A. Maggie (offcourse.. He puts Maggie noodles in a pan before going to
bat and he comes back just in time when it is ready)
Q. What did Dada say when he was asked, 'Why is it always necessary to
wear protection(helmet)?"
A "Two minutes of fun can ruin your life otherwise.".hehe
Q. Dada teaching his daughter ABC..
A A for Awkward bounce, B for Bowled, C for caught, D for Dadagiri
....
Q. what is the similarity between 100 m race and Dada's innings?
A. Both take same time to complete.
Q. Easiest way to get Dada out?
A. just bowl to him .. He will get out anyway.
Q. How can Dada score century in cricket?
A. By bowling 10 overs.... he will give away 100 runs
Q. Which is the best team in the world?
A. India offcourse.. plays with 10 people ( dada cant bat, bowl or
field) and still wins sometimes.
Q. What shud Dada do after retirement?
A. Become catching coach ... he offers best catches in the game of
cricket.
Q. Why did Dada decide to donate his Bat?
A. He doesn't use it anyways.
Q. Who can beat Dada's record of 2 min at crease?
A. Dada himself if he can improve his running speed
A. "In the pavilion, first there's God and then there's Dada".
Q. What's Dada's favorite Engilsh movie?
A. Gone in 60 Seconds
Q. Whats Dada's favorite hindi movie?
A. AA Aab laut chalen.
Q. Whats Dada's favorite song?
A. Ek pal ka Jeena .. Phir to hai jana (Kaho na pyar hai)
Q. Whats Dada's favorite food?
A. Maggie (offcourse.. He puts Maggie noodles in a pan before going to
bat and he comes back just in time when it is ready)
Q. What did Dada say when he was asked, 'Why is it always necessary to
wear protection(helmet)?"
A "Two minutes of fun can ruin your life otherwise.".hehe
Q. Dada teaching his daughter ABC..
A A for Awkward bounce, B for Bowled, C for caught, D for Dadagiri
....
Q. what is the similarity between 100 m race and Dada's innings?
A. Both take same time to complete.
Q. Easiest way to get Dada out?
A. just bowl to him .. He will get out anyway.
Q. How can Dada score century in cricket?
A. By bowling 10 overs.... he will give away 100 runs
Q. Which is the best team in the world?
A. India offcourse.. plays with 10 people ( dada cant bat, bowl or
field) and still wins sometimes.
Q. What shud Dada do after retirement?
A. Become catching coach ... he offers best catches in the game of
cricket.
Q. Why did Dada decide to donate his Bat?
A. He doesn't use it anyways.
Q. Who can beat Dada's record of 2 min at crease?
A. Dada himself if he can improve his running speed
- Naghma
- Registered User
Enuff of ganguly leg pulling I say! 
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
-
akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
--------------------------------------
(P=The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S=The solution and action taken by mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
----------------------------------------
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
----------------------------------------
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
----------------------------------------
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
----------------------------------------
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
----------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
----------------------------------------
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
----------------------------------------
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
----------------------------------------
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
----------------------------------------
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
----------------------------------------
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
----------------------------------------
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
----------------------------------------
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
----------------------------------------
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
----------------------------------------
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
-------------------------------------------------------
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
--------------------------------------
(P=The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S=The solution and action taken by mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
----------------------------------------
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
----------------------------------------
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
----------------------------------------
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
----------------------------------------
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
----------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
----------------------------------------
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
----------------------------------------
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
----------------------------------------
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
----------------------------------------
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
----------------------------------------
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
----------------------------------------
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
----------------------------------------
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
----------------------------------------
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
----------------------------------------
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
-------------------------------------------------------
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
Side effects of alcohol ... and remedies!!!
1.Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward
2.Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3.Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.
4.Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.
5.Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!
6.Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
7.Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking at you funny.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
8.Symptom: A huge light is blinding you.
Cause: You woke up in someone's lawn.
Cure: Coffee and a long nap
1.Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward
2.Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3.Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.
4.Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.
5.Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!
6.Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
7.Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking at you funny.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
8.Symptom: A huge light is blinding you.
Cause: You woke up in someone's lawn.
Cure: Coffee and a long nap
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
good ones YCR
Hyderabadi Joke......Must Read
In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Chotu. His father is ambitious to educate Chotu.
Chotu goes to school located in Tappachabutra. The
principal is educated in Urdu high school and claims
that he passed tenth class!
There is a school inspection the next day and the
conversation is as follows :
Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa
(questions) puchinga. Sab
achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa
tho main uske pairaan thodtoon.
Chotu: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai
hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?
Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo
khola to gaaliaan nikaltay. Tereku main absent nai daalthaun. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.
So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.
Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan dabba hai? Ga** pay maartoon
saale tu ischool nai gaya to.
Chotu: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaun.
So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day at school,Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:
Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?
Chotu: Mera bava gaa** phodtaon bola ischool nai gaya to.
Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur
inispector aya to chup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhigadbad karinga naa meri noukri gaa** lag jayingi.
So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.Inspector comes for the visit.
Inspector: Adaab.
Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab.
Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.
Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever(clever) hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal -Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?
Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!
Imtiyaz: Saab, Kaleja saab..
Inspector: Aisa! ...... woh kyun?
Imtiyaz: Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.
Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?
Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.
Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. ****iye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!
In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because he does not know the answer.
Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?
Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku,kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab.
Inspector: Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai
naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?
Chotu: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.
Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye
potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.
Chotu: Saab answer Ga*** hai saab.
Teacher: Allah!! Ino moo khola to meri ga*** lag gayi re!!!
Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Ga*** kahaan kaa answer hai re?
Chotu: Hau saab, ga*** ich sabse naazook cheez hai.Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni ga*** phatthi....Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki ga*** phat thi gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Uttaa kyoon saab,main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki
ga*** phatrai dekho!
Chotu goes to school located in Tappachabutra. The
principal is educated in Urdu high school and claims
that he passed tenth class!
There is a school inspection the next day and the
conversation is as follows :
Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa
(questions) puchinga. Sab
achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa
tho main uske pairaan thodtoon.
Chotu: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai
hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?
Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo
khola to gaaliaan nikaltay. Tereku main absent nai daalthaun. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.
So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.
Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan dabba hai? Ga** pay maartoon
saale tu ischool nai gaya to.
Chotu: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaun.
So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day at school,Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:
Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?
Chotu: Mera bava gaa** phodtaon bola ischool nai gaya to.
Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur
inispector aya to chup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhigadbad karinga naa meri noukri gaa** lag jayingi.
So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.Inspector comes for the visit.
Inspector: Adaab.
Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab.
Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.
Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever(clever) hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal -Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?
Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!
Imtiyaz: Saab, Kaleja saab..
Inspector: Aisa! ...... woh kyun?
Imtiyaz: Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.
Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?
Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.
Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. ****iye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!
In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because he does not know the answer.
Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?
Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku,kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab.
Inspector: Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai
naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?
Chotu: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.
Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye
potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.
Chotu: Saab answer Ga*** hai saab.
Teacher: Allah!! Ino moo khola to meri ga*** lag gayi re!!!
Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Ga*** kahaan kaa answer hai re?
Chotu: Hau saab, ga*** ich sabse naazook cheez hai.Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni ga*** phatthi....Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki ga*** phat thi gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Uttaa kyoon saab,main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki
ga*** phatrai dekho!
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog. When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and
kicks the dog.
A reporter was seeing all this.
He said "That was great. I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.
Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."
The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US".
Reporter " OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN
SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG".
Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen. I'm a Paki national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.
kicks the dog.
A reporter was seeing all this.
He said "That was great. I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.
Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."
The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US".
Reporter " OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN
SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG".
Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen. I'm a Paki national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.
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ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
Good: Your wife is pregnant
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago
Good: Your wife is not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She is a lawyer
Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Ugly: You're in them
Good: Your Hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross-dresser
Ugly: He looks better then you
Good: You give the "Birds & Bees" talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With Corrections
Good: The Postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man
Ugly: He's your best friend
Good: Your daughter got a new job
Bad: As a hooker
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago
Good: Your wife is not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She is a lawyer
Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Ugly: You're in them
Good: Your Hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross-dresser
Ugly: He looks better then you
Good: You give the "Birds & Bees" talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With Corrections
Good: The Postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man
Ugly: He's your best friend
Good: Your daughter got a new job
Bad: As a hooker
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter
showed him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds
and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months
enjoying the amenities of Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when
he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get
it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these
when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion
on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred
acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the
Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked
off to find St.Peter.
Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met,
saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're
showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of
the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does
he deserve better??!!!!"
"Yes, but we use Windows," replied Peter, "and the Titanic only
crashed once."
showed him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds
and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months
enjoying the amenities of Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when
he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get
it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these
when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion
on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred
acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the
Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked
off to find St.Peter.
Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met,
saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're
showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of
the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does
he deserve better??!!!!"
"Yes, but we use Windows," replied Peter, "and the Titanic only
crashed once."
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
You know you are an Internet Junkie when...
When asked to your address, your answer begins with http://
Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
You chat with your fingers, not your mouth.
You use Netscape 4.72, and you check every week whether version 4.73 was released.
You know the difference between Java and Javascript.
Most of your friends have an @ in their names.
In order to watch CNN you move to http://www.cnn.com
On your business card the e-mail appears before the phone number.
You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
You can perfectly imitate the sound pattern of your modem connecting to your ISP.
You can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than : -).
You are told about a new program, and you are disappointed to find that it is a TV program.
Not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
When asked to your address, your answer begins with http://
Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
You chat with your fingers, not your mouth.
You use Netscape 4.72, and you check every week whether version 4.73 was released.
You know the difference between Java and Javascript.
Most of your friends have an @ in their names.
In order to watch CNN you move to http://www.cnn.com
On your business card the e-mail appears before the phone number.
You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
You can perfectly imitate the sound pattern of your modem connecting to your ISP.
You can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than : -).
You are told about a new program, and you are disappointed to find that it is a TV program.
Not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love
with each other and want to get married, but cannot.
Why?
Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is
illegal.
Question: How do you "cut" roads?
Ans: By laughing... because "Haste haste cut jaye
raaste".
Question: Luv and Kush are going to a village and
pass
by a well. Luv falls into the well. Why?
Ans: Because Luv is blind.
Question: Now, Kush also jumps in. Why?
Ans: Because Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!
Question: Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya
hai?...........
..........
........Socho, socho. Nahi pata?
Ans: D'Cold; Because... Chan ki saans - D'Cold
Question: Chalo ab batao, Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam
kya hai? ...........
............
This one's really simple...
Ans: D'Cold again... Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi
------------------
A railway station beggar meets another beggar.A
software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?
"So, which platform are you working on?"
-------------------
Question: What do you call a person who is leaving
India?
Ans: Hindustan Lever.
Question: What do you call a person who leaves India,
but doesn't travel much?
Ans: Hindustan Lever Limited.
--------------------------
Question: Who is Joe?
Ans: Kambakth ishq... Because "Kambakth ishq hai
joe!"
--------------------------
Woh kaun sa hindi geet hai jis main "Internet
Explorer" ka zikar kiya gaya
hai???
Hint: The heroine also refers to herself as
Internet
Explorer.
If you don't know...
Scroll down for the answer...
The answer is... Maine Pyar Kiya.
And the song goes....
Aajaa shaam hone IE (Internet Explorer)
Mausam ne lee angada IE
To kis baat ki hai lada IE
Tu chal........ Main IE !!!
--------------------------------------
Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :
Phulwa,RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and
RaamChuri
were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden,
Phulwa
started to sing a song. the moment Phulwa stopped
singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri
and
RaamChuri fell down
from the wall !!!...
WHY ???
scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . . .
coz, they all started clapping !!!!
--------------------------------------
Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke baad
use
bhookh lagti hai. so he goes to the canteen.
canteen
mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav khane
ke
liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
"jannat" likha hai.
To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska
lecture attend karke aa raha hai, us proffessor ka
naam kya hai???
guess
scroll down for the answer
The answer is
Ishq Ki Chhaon.
Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....
Don't scratch ur head this is a song from film "Dil Se"
---------------------------------------
Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven............
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately
Einstein is the
one who has the den........... He is supposed to
count
upto 100...and
then start searching..... Everyone starts hiding
except
Newton.........Newton just draws a square of 1
meter
and stands in it right
in front of Einstein........... Einsteins
counting......97,98,99.....100........
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in
front........
Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........ He
claims
tht he is not Newton...... All the scientists come
out
and he proves tht he is not newton..........
how.................
His proof:
Newton says:
I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
That means i am Newton per meter square......
Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter square
Pascal
with each other and want to get married, but cannot.
Why?
Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is
illegal.
Question: How do you "cut" roads?
Ans: By laughing... because "Haste haste cut jaye
raaste".
Question: Luv and Kush are going to a village and
pass
by a well. Luv falls into the well. Why?
Ans: Because Luv is blind.
Question: Now, Kush also jumps in. Why?
Ans: Because Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!
Question: Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya
hai?...........
..........
........Socho, socho. Nahi pata?
Ans: D'Cold; Because... Chan ki saans - D'Cold
Question: Chalo ab batao, Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam
kya hai? ...........
............
This one's really simple...
Ans: D'Cold again... Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi
------------------
A railway station beggar meets another beggar.A
software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?
"So, which platform are you working on?"
-------------------
Question: What do you call a person who is leaving
India?
Ans: Hindustan Lever.
Question: What do you call a person who leaves India,
but doesn't travel much?
Ans: Hindustan Lever Limited.
--------------------------
Question: Who is Joe?
Ans: Kambakth ishq... Because "Kambakth ishq hai
joe!"
--------------------------
Woh kaun sa hindi geet hai jis main "Internet
Explorer" ka zikar kiya gaya
hai???
Hint: The heroine also refers to herself as
Internet
Explorer.
If you don't know...
Scroll down for the answer...
The answer is... Maine Pyar Kiya.
And the song goes....
Aajaa shaam hone IE (Internet Explorer)
Mausam ne lee angada IE
To kis baat ki hai lada IE
Tu chal........ Main IE !!!
--------------------------------------
Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :
Phulwa,RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and
RaamChuri
were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden,
Phulwa
started to sing a song. the moment Phulwa stopped
singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri
and
RaamChuri fell down
from the wall !!!...
WHY ???
scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . . .
coz, they all started clapping !!!!
--------------------------------------
Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke baad
use
bhookh lagti hai. so he goes to the canteen.
canteen
mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav khane
ke
liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
"jannat" likha hai.
To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska
lecture attend karke aa raha hai, us proffessor ka
naam kya hai???
guess
scroll down for the answer
The answer is
Ishq Ki Chhaon.
Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....
Don't scratch ur head this is a song from film "Dil Se"
---------------------------------------
Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven............
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately
Einstein is the
one who has the den........... He is supposed to
count
upto 100...and
then start searching..... Everyone starts hiding
except
Newton.........Newton just draws a square of 1
meter
and stands in it right
in front of Einstein........... Einsteins
counting......97,98,99.....100........
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in
front........
Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........ He
claims
tht he is not Newton...... All the scientists come
out
and he proves tht he is not newton..........
how.................
His proof:
Newton says:
I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
That means i am Newton per meter square......
Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter square
Pascal
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
-
akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
Do you know what happened in 1850?
California became a state.
Back then, the state had no electricity, no money, there were gun fights in the middle of the streets, and almost everyone spoke Spanish.
So it was just like California today. Only back then the women had real tits.
California became a state.
Back then, the state had no electricity, no money, there were gun fights in the middle of the streets, and almost everyone spoke Spanish.
So it was just like California today. Only back then the women had real tits.
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
-
CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
Chi chi chi........CAD you are losing your touch.You posted the same joke in the same thread before.
Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère.:Merovingian,TMR
-
The Jackal - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6556
- Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2004 5:16 am
- Location: Lat 17° 22' 31N /Long 78° 28' 28E
did i?The Jackal wrote:Chi chi chi........CAD you are losing your touch.You posted the same joke in the same thread before.
mental note: stock up on Memory Plus
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
Yeah you did.CtrlAltDel wrote:did i?The Jackal wrote:Chi chi chi........CAD you are losing your touch.You posted the same joke in the same thread before.
mental note: stock up on Memory Plus
Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère.:Merovingian,TMR
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The Jackal - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6556
- Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2004 5:16 am
- Location: Lat 17° 22' 31N /Long 78° 28' 28E
The Jackal wrote:Yeah you did.CtrlAltDel wrote:did i?The Jackal wrote:Chi chi chi........CAD you are losing your touch.You posted the same joke in the same thread before.
mental note: stock up on Memory Plus
in fairness to CAD, he has over 10000 posts here, and there's only so many ways you can arrange the words of the english language. it's like having 10000000000000000 monkeys messing with typewriters for 1000000000000000 years, eventually they'll produce the complete works of Shakespeare, with a brilliantly illuminating foreword and summary to each play/sonnet, signed by every monkey.
While one who sings with his tongue on fire Gargles in the rat race choir Bent out of shape from society's pliers Cares not to come up any higher But rather get you down in the hole that he's in
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mark - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1467
- Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 8:22 pm
somehow i dont like that ^^^ example...mark wrote:The Jackal wrote:Yeah you did.CtrlAltDel wrote:did i?The Jackal wrote:Chi chi chi........CAD you are losing your touch.You posted the same joke in the same thread before.
mental note: stock up on Memory Plus
fairness to CAD, he has over 10000 posts here, and there's only so many ways you can arrange the words of the english language. it's like having 10000000000000000 monkeys messing with typewriters for 1000000000000000 years, eventually they'll produce the complete works of Shakespeare, with a brilliantly illuminating foreword and summary to each play/sonnet, signed by every monkey.
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
-
CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
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