Mayavi Morpheus wrote:bad_statistics wrote:1) Many men commit suicide or die indirectly while arranging money for their daughter's dowry. But still, you can observe that Dowry is always called "A woman's problem" and not a problem of "Indian Family" on a whole.
2) Most of men who commit suicide for arranging dowry are termed as Suicide due to financial reasons.
Provide proof for 1 and 2.
Dowry is always a womans problem and not a mans problem because only the woman suffer from dowry deaths and not men. They are the ones who put up with all the attrocities at their in-laws.
While its true that the entire family has to struggle to pay the dowry, they do not suffer any physical harm after the marriage. Besides a family = Mother + Father = Man and woman.
3) A man needs very little money to sustain himself. Financial issues come due to family and man's role as a protector and provider.
So you suggest that men and women live seperately?
By looking after family, is the man doing his wife a favour? What about the house chores, the love, the children? If a woman starts charging a man for all these favours - cooking, sexual pleasures, bringing up the children - man would not be left with any money for himself.
1) Dowry is problem of entire family even though it is women who die directly and men die indirectly (suicide or death by heart attacks etc.).
2)
I find that people in this Forum, are so judgemental that they jump into conclusions too easily. I am not telling you to jump into conclusions in any matter (including hard views on extremist feminists). What I am telling is that most probably, it is better to have a wider perspective.
For example, did I ever say, that men and women should live separately ?
On the contrary, please search in internet and you will find that it is the FEMINISTS who champion single parenting. We believe that a child needs both parents for healthy unbringing. Pl. find what feminists have to say on this.
Had I been advocating, women and men to live separately, then had I complained about the rising divorce rates ?
So, why should I be accused of something which I myself is opposing vehemently.
3)
"By looking after family, is the man doing his wife a favour? What about the house chores, the love, the children? If a woman starts charging a man for all these favours - cooking, sexual pleasures, bringing up the children - man would not be left with any money for himself."
Love is mutual, it is not from woman to man or man to woman. It goes both ways. So does the sexual pleasures.
Children also brought up together. Mother nurtures and father disciplines. Mother plays a bigger role at early age and father during young age.
What is needed is an attitude of gratitude. A house in which a woman is not happy is not a house at all.
3) When we talk about equality:
A man must nurture child equally. (Change nappies for example)
He must spend time with children equally.
He must cook half of the time.
Same way, a woman must earn half of household income.
A woman must also not depend on man for protection.
Society has to move to this situation gradually.
4) Please understand that I am not anti-woman.
I only say that "woman's problems can not be meaningfully addressed if we do not address them in totality."
The same are true for man's problems. A man's problem impacts woman and vice versa.
5) When we use statistics, we must take all data and then only we must start analysis.
I have given data that men's suicide rate in India goes up by 50% after marriage. I will supply data on heart attacks and all other diseases later on.
The main issue is that of "Illegal Detentions without investigations" in case of Anti-dowry laws.
Are these detentions only for men ? No.
The number of women getting arrested under anti-dowry laws is the maximum of the % of women arrested in India. Imagine, your 60 year old mother and 22 year old married sister getting arrested and spending 5 days in Tihar Jail. Later on, the case is dropped by the judge after 3 years of court battles. There is no deterance what so ever for filing a false case.
I know cases, where people have shown bank statements showing that they have transfered some 5-8 lacs to the wife's name alongwith recorded telephone conversations "in which woman demands more money". Still the guy and his parents are arrested.
This can happen to anybody. It can be you. It can be your parents, sisters, relatives, anybody. The Crime Against Women Cells(CAW) are extremely corrupt. Lot of NGOs are collecting money in the name of charity and misusing it. They have "donate buttons" in their whole websites.
I am not here do any conversions. In fact, I am not interested in presenting any more mails here except a few occasional replies.
I only performed an experiment to understand the psychology to men.
I found that
1) Men are competitive.
2) They will try to disagree even when they agree deep inside.
3) They are focused to that extreme that they will be blind.
4) Women are much smarter than men (the fact that very few women were outraged by what I wrote here). Even when they write they were flexible.
5) Indian men live in 16th century as Shobha De recently said. They feel, men are strong, men have the control, men have controlled the world neglecting women since ages.
These experiments help us. Because we found that women judges give very balanced judgements than male judges in cases like divorce, child custody and even in case of dowry laws.
Male judges tend to be extremely unfavourable to men.
So, that makes our job easy. We champion for more women judges in India and Feminazies can not oppose us.
Finally, can we put a vote in this Forum, (due to the fact that I am seeing so many idealists here that too from a dowry prone state like AP).
Requesting married(unmarried) members to choose among:
1) They have taken(will take) dowry.
2) They have demanded(will demand) dowry.
3) They have not demanded(will not demand) dowry, but accepted(will accept) costly gifts including money.
4) They have deposited(will deposit) the streedhan in wife's name only and they give(will give) at least 10% of their salary to wife for her maintaining and managing household so responsibly.
Please let me know, if you all agree for such a survey in fullhyd.
I must show deep respect for such an idealist crowd in fullhyd, that they are so much against dowry and other social evils.
If their number is 50 or so, then it is enough we can make a difference to make this a dowry and bride burning free society in stead of wasting time is these discussions.
