How bored can a person be?
99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 98 bottles of beer on the wall
98 bottles of beer on the wall
98 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 97 bottles of beer on the wall
97 bottles of beer on the wall
97 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 96 bottles of beer on the wall
96 bottles of beer on the wall
96 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 95 bottles of beer on the wall
95 bottles of beer on the wall
95 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 94 bottles of beer on the wall
94 bottles of beer on the wall
94 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 93 bottles of beer on the wall
93 bottles of beer on the wall
93 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 92 bottles of beer on the wall
92 bottles of beer on the wall
92 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 91 bottles of beer on the wall
91 bottles of beer on the wall
91 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 90 bottles of beer on the wall
90 bottles of beer on the wall
90 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 89 bottles of beer on the wall
89 bottles of beer on the wall
89 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 88 bottles of beer on the wall
88 bottles of beer on the wall
88 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 87 bottles of beer on the wall
87 bottles of beer on the wall
87 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 86 bottles of beer on the wall
86 bottles of beer on the wall
86 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 85 bottles of beer on the wall
85 bottles of beer on the wall
85 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 84 bottles of beer on the wall
84 bottles of beer on the wall
84 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 83 bottles of beer on the wall
83 bottles of beer on the wall
83 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 82 bottles of beer on the wall
82 bottles of beer on the wall
82 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 81 bottles of beer on the wall
81 bottles of beer on the wall
81 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 80 bottles of beer on the wall
80 bottles of beer on the wall
80 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 79 bottles of beer on the wall
79 bottles of beer on the wall
79 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 78 bottles of beer on the wall
78 bottles of beer on the wall
78 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 77 bottles of beer on the wall
77 bottles of beer on the wall
77 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 76 bottles of beer on the wall
76 bottles of beer on the wall
76 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 75 bottles of beer on the wall
75 bottles of beer on the wall
75 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 74 bottles of beer on the wall
74 bottles of beer on the wall
74 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 73 bottles of beer on the wall
73 bottles of beer on the wall
73 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 72 bottles of beer on the wall
72 bottles of beer on the wall
72 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 71 bottles of beer on the wall
71 bottles of beer on the wall
71 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 70 bottles of beer on the wall
70 bottles of beer on the wall
70 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 69 bottles of beer on the wall
69 bottles of beer on the wall
69 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 68 bottles of beer on the wall
68 bottles of beer on the wall
68 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 67 bottles of beer on the wall
67 bottles of beer on the wall
67 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 66 bottles of beer on the wall
66 bottles of beer on the wall
66 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 65 bottles of beer on the wall
65 bottles of beer on the wall
65 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 64 bottles of beer on the wall
64 bottles of beer on the wall
64 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 63 bottles of beer on the wall
63 bottles of beer on the wall
63 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 62 bottles of beer on the wall
62 bottles of beer on the wall
62 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 61 bottles of beer on the wall
61 bottles of beer on the wall
61 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 60 bottles of beer on the wall
60 bottles of beer on the wall
60 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 59 bottles of beer on the wall
59 bottles of beer on the wall
59 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 58 bottles of beer on the wall
58 bottles of beer on the wall
58 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 57 bottles of beer on the wall
57 bottles of beer on the wall
57 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 56 bottles of beer on the wall
56 bottles of beer on the wall
56 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 55 bottles of beer on the wall
55 bottles of beer on the wall
55 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 54 bottles of beer on the wall
54 bottles of beer on the wall
54 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 53 bottles of beer on the wall
53 bottles of beer on the wall
53 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 52 bottles of beer on the wall
52 bottles of beer on the wall
52 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 51 bottles of beer on the wall
51 bottles of beer on the wall
51 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 50 bottles of beer on the wall
50 bottles of beer on the wall
50 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 49 bottles of beer on the wall
49 bottles of beer on the wall
49 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 48 bottles of beer on the wall
48 bottles of beer on the wall
48 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 47 bottles of beer on the wall
47 bottles of beer on the wall
47 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 46 bottles of beer on the wall
46 bottles of beer on the wall
46 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 45 bottles of beer on the wall
45 bottles of beer on the wall
45 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 44 bottles of beer on the wall
44 bottles of beer on the wall
44 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 43 bottles of beer on the wall
43 bottles of beer on the wall
43 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 42 bottles of beer on the wall
42 bottles of beer on the wall
42 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 41 bottles of beer on the wall
41 bottles of beer on the wall
41 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 40 bottles of beer on the wall
40 bottles of beer on the wall
40 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 39 bottles of beer on the wall
39 bottles of beer on the wall
39 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 38 bottles of beer on the wall
38 bottles of beer on the wall
38 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 37 bottles of beer on the wall
37 bottles of beer on the wall
37 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 36 bottles of beer on the wall
36 bottles of beer on the wall
36 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 35 bottles of beer on the wall
35 bottles of beer on the wall
35 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 34 bottles of beer on the wall
34 bottles of beer on the wall
34 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 33 bottles of beer on the wall
33 bottles of beer on the wall
33 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 32 bottles of beer on the wall
32 bottles of beer on the wall
32 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 31 bottles of beer on the wall
31 bottles of beer on the wall
31 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 30 bottles of beer on the wall
30 bottles of beer on the wall
30 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 29 bottles of beer on the wall
29 bottles of beer on the wall
29 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 28 bottles of beer on the wall
28 bottles of beer on the wall
28 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 27 bottles of beer on the wall
27 bottles of beer on the wall
27 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 26 bottles of beer on the wall
26 bottles of beer on the wall
26 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 25 bottles of beer on the wall
25 bottles of beer on the wall
25 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 24 bottles of beer on the wall
24 bottles of beer on the wall
24 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 23 bottles of beer on the wall
23 bottles of beer on the wall
23 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 22 bottles of beer on the wall
22 bottles of beer on the wall
22 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 21 bottles of beer on the wall
21 bottles of beer on the wall
21 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 20 bottles of beer on the wall
20 bottles of beer on the wall
20 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 19 bottles of beer on the wall
19 bottles of beer on the wall
19 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 18 bottles of beer on the wall
18 bottles of beer on the wall
18 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 17 bottles of beer on the wall
17 bottles of beer on the wall
17 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 16 bottles of beer on the wall
16 bottles of beer on the wall
16 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 15 bottles of beer on the wall
15 bottles of beer on the wall
15 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 14 bottles of beer on the wall
14 bottles of beer on the wall
14 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 13 bottles of beer on the wall
13 bottles of beer on the wall
13 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 12 bottles of beer on the wall
12 bottles of beer on the wall
12 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 11 bottles of beer on the wall
11 bottles of beer on the wall
11 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 10 bottles of beer on the wall
10 bottles of beer on the wall
10 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 9 bottles of beer on the wall
9 bottles of beer on the wall
9 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 8 bottles of beer on the wall
8 bottles of beer on the wall
8 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 7 bottles of beer on the wall
7 bottles of beer on the wall
7 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 6 bottles of beer on the wall
6 bottles of beer on the wall
6 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 5 bottles of beer on the wall
5 bottles of beer on the wall
5 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 4 bottles of beer on the wall
4 bottles of beer on the wall
4 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 3 bottles of beer on the wall
2 bottles of beer on the wall
2 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be 1 bottles of beer on the wall
1 bottles of beer on the wall
1 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles were to fall
There’d be NO bottles of beer on the wall!!!!!
Boredom Personified
Moderator: The Moderator Team
44 posts
• Page 1 of 2 • 1, 2
Boredom Personified
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
-
rock_26iin - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6111
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:42 pm
- Location: L0ST !N $PACE
Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings?
Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the scent virtually disappears?
Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?
Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats?
Why is there never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English breakfast?
What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
Is it possible to be allergic to water?
When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?
If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
Whats a question with no answer called?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Do bald people get dandruff?
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
Do stairs go up or down?
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
Source
Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the scent virtually disappears?
Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?
Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats?
Why is there never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English breakfast?
What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
Is it possible to be allergic to water?
When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?
If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
Whats a question with no answer called?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Do bald people get dandruff?
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
Do stairs go up or down?
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
Source
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
Ever happen to you?
(P.S.:^^That's an original!)
(P.S.:^^That's an original!)
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
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rock_26iin - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6111
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:42 pm
- Location: L0ST !N $PACE
Just a thought occured to me this morning when I was (trying to) revise biology
If a person swallows an anesthetic, does it get digested?
If a person swallows an anesthetic, does it get digested?
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
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rock_26iin - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6111
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:42 pm
- Location: L0ST !N $PACE
i suppose so...its going to the stomach isnt it? at least the digestion process would take place and the thing might or mght not be absorbed in the body...rock_26iin wrote:If a person swallows an anesthetic, does it get digested?
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings 
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
CtrlAltDel wrote:i suppose so...its going to the stomach isnt it? at least the digestion process would take place and the thing might or mght not be absorbed in the body...rock_26iin wrote:If a person swallows an anesthetic, does it get digested?
But if its an anesthetic won't it anesthize the very organs that are gonna digest it?
One more random thought : From Spammy's avatar:
What colour does a smurf turn when its suffocating?
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
-
rock_26iin - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6111
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:42 pm
- Location: L0ST !N $PACE
Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings?
>> Because its dialogue? I don't know, ask a Shakespearan.
Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the scent virtually disappears?
>>Probably something with the chemistry of the gel powder? But you can get unscented jello.
Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
>>No, because it does not eat the stuff that makes you burp or fart.
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
>>Technically, yes. Because the ball was not caught, however, if the ball is found and brought back, he is out, in all sense.
If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?
>>General illness is like a everyday cold, major illness is like having high blood sugar or diabetes. And, I would suggest reading on military lit for the other answer.
Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats?
>>Can you imagine the yucky flavor of root beer icecream? Plus, sometimes, mixing the unlikely things produces great tasting results
Why is there never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English breakfast?
>>Because people eat full on an empty stomach in the mornings?
What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
>>Its polite manners.
Is it possible to be allergic to water?
>> My friend is somewhat. She will only drink flavored water (usu. fruit) or soft drink beverage. But, technically, no...else how would you live without the water moisture?
When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
>>I would like to believe they do.
Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?
>> I don't own a cat. n/a
If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
>>I think its for the ingredients of the gum. And, 10 calories is negligible. You can burn that quickly.
Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books?
>>Ask a publisher.
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
>>Easter has nothing to with bunnies or eggs. That's culture.
How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
>>You skin does get tight under hot water pressure. You face skin will stretch under continuous water touch. Try it.
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
>>Whose parents do that? That sounds crazy.
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
>>Whatever you want. Arguments are on both sides of the fence. But, traditionally it is used in a vegetable dish.
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
>>I think those are preservatives and scents for the lotion. Plus, it's a lotion, a cream, not a dye.
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
>>But there is something to be said about the coarse and unpredictable nature.
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
>>No, it's a flavor.
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
>>Because people brains are wired quite weirdly.
Whats a question with no answer called?
>>Still is a question.
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
>>Someone puts it there.
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
>>Actually, you can use both of them. I know a lot of stores will lock one door before closing time so they can monitor people coming in and out of the store. Security purposes.
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
>>Perception.
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
>>Captain.
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
>>No, but its sad that people still live in the reel world.
Do bald people get dandruff?
>>Yes, dandruff is a skin/scalp condition. Not a hair condition.
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
>>Learn chemistry for that.
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
>>I am sure there is a rule contract voiding that wish.
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
>>Might. I have't tried it.
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
>>No, it is stated specifically of the freedoms you get as a living/dead person. Like you debt is not forced on your sons/daughters after you die. Of course its diff, if you signed the papers or were on the business account from the start. I am sure there are some legalities invovled.
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
>>Yes. The one with rubber band straps that goes around their head.
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
>>No, that is a rumor.
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
>>No, they are allergic to the stuff from the family of nut plants or trees.
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
>>They would still be pissing and pass gas before they die.
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
>>Because you don't call a prepared food vegetables. If you separately boil raw potatoes, you would call them boiled potatoes - because you haven't prepared a food item from it yet.
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
>>Maybe. Do it and let me know what happends.
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
>>Vampires don't have religion except vampirisim, don't think it matters.
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
>>Because a personality of a child is still undeveloped as compared to an adult.
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
>>I think so. Better in than out, they say.
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
>>Yes, but he would probably accessorize it and call it gay.
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
>>Surprisingly, they do!
Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
>>Because they are curious bullies?
Do stairs go up or down?
>>Depends where you are.
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
>>Its an expression.
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
>>I think it like a header...for the subject line. I used it when going to school in India.
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
>>Some do. Aren't the new ones all metal outside and wood furnish inside?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
>>Ask the guy/girl who invented the keypad for both.
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?
>>No, Hooters is a recognized brand name now.
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
>>Space is unlimited!
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
>>Depends on their contract or their supervising parents. I think some do.
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
>>Yeah, but its hard to preserve all that earwax!
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
>>No, they say fruck in their best french accent.
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
>>No. They are things the good people missed themselves the first time around.
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
>>No, its taken care by the city/state govt council. Or you fix it yourself.
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
>>Yes, that is what the fire lane is for - for them!
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
>>Yes, cloudy is in the sky above. Foggy is more ground level.
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
>>I think its 50s slang. Not sure though.
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
>>Yeah. Think breaststroke during swimming. You are doing the same thing.
Are marbles made of marble?
>>No.
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
>>Something with physics of the cup and ice properties I am sure. Ask someone who researched this.
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
>>No, but you get survival damages and free tickets for the next plane.
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
>>Because he felt like it?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
>>I don't know him or her.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
>>Again, asking the wrong person.
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
>>Is it? But I still like going there.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>>No, morons come from lack of morality.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
>>I am not sure I understand the question. Habla espanol.
Can you get cornered in a round room?
>>Technically, No.
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
>>Because they are too short. And you don't douse with so many shampoos and/or conditioners.
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
>>Yes, or the State law book? Haven't been on the witness stand.
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
>>Because one is an extreme emergency and the other is not. You got two fine legs, keep walking.
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
>>What's the song? Not familiar.
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
>>How do you know? Have you been to Hell?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
>>Reverse psychology, my bro.
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
>>Mickey Mouse is an imaginative character. Mice can be nasty and diseased vermin!
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
>>Sure, go ahead and patent it.
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
>>What are you talking about? I see Comcast and SBC commercials on regular channels all the time.
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
>>Your point being?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
>>I guess. Har har.
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
>>Physics again. Ask a scientist on the things and water properties.
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
>>Chlorine effect?
Can mute people burp?
>>Yes.
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
>>Don't know, haven't tried it yet.
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
>>Says you, not the southeast asians.
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
>>Not a music instructor.
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
>>No, it would be called a gold fork.
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
>> Don't get question.
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
>>I haven't had time to study strawberries.
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
>>Again, refer back to the food/processed item vs. the raw deal.
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
>>Yes, its for lesbians.
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
>>Blue is a soothing and neutral color and marketing research has shown that blue is more appealing in a cleaning agent than green or yellow.
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
>>Praying is private, and so is God talking back to you. Don't break the secret rule again.
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
>>Expression.
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
>>I don't like macaroni of any kind. N/A.
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
>>Again the processed and flavored food theory vs. natural raw things.
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
>>Same reason the bottom of your soles can't.
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
>>Technically yes, the school has a make up day for the snow or it cuts a holiday short. Either way you have to finish your syllabus.
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
>>Because they are dogs and animals have their society rules to follow.
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
>>Motivation or they want something in return. TINSTAAFL!
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
>>Expression.
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
>>Again, expression, if you think of something revolutionary and witty, let me know.
Jaanu
>> Because its dialogue? I don't know, ask a Shakespearan.
Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the scent virtually disappears?
>>Probably something with the chemistry of the gel powder? But you can get unscented jello.
Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
>>No, because it does not eat the stuff that makes you burp or fart.
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
>>Technically, yes. Because the ball was not caught, however, if the ball is found and brought back, he is out, in all sense.
If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?
>>General illness is like a everyday cold, major illness is like having high blood sugar or diabetes. And, I would suggest reading on military lit for the other answer.
Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats?
>>Can you imagine the yucky flavor of root beer icecream? Plus, sometimes, mixing the unlikely things produces great tasting results
Why is there never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English breakfast?
>>Because people eat full on an empty stomach in the mornings?
What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
>>Its polite manners.
Is it possible to be allergic to water?
>> My friend is somewhat. She will only drink flavored water (usu. fruit) or soft drink beverage. But, technically, no...else how would you live without the water moisture?
When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
>>I would like to believe they do.
Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?
>> I don't own a cat. n/a
If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
>>I think its for the ingredients of the gum. And, 10 calories is negligible. You can burn that quickly.
Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books?
>>Ask a publisher.
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
>>Easter has nothing to with bunnies or eggs. That's culture.
How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
>>You skin does get tight under hot water pressure. You face skin will stretch under continuous water touch. Try it.
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
>>Whose parents do that? That sounds crazy.
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
>>Whatever you want. Arguments are on both sides of the fence. But, traditionally it is used in a vegetable dish.
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
>>I think those are preservatives and scents for the lotion. Plus, it's a lotion, a cream, not a dye.
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
>>But there is something to be said about the coarse and unpredictable nature.
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
>>No, it's a flavor.
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
>>Because people brains are wired quite weirdly.
Whats a question with no answer called?
>>Still is a question.
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
>>Someone puts it there.
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
>>Actually, you can use both of them. I know a lot of stores will lock one door before closing time so they can monitor people coming in and out of the store. Security purposes.
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
>>Perception.
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
>>Captain.
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
>>No, but its sad that people still live in the reel world.
Do bald people get dandruff?
>>Yes, dandruff is a skin/scalp condition. Not a hair condition.
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
>>Learn chemistry for that.
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
>>I am sure there is a rule contract voiding that wish.
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
>>Might. I have't tried it.
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
>>No, it is stated specifically of the freedoms you get as a living/dead person. Like you debt is not forced on your sons/daughters after you die. Of course its diff, if you signed the papers or were on the business account from the start. I am sure there are some legalities invovled.
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
>>Yes. The one with rubber band straps that goes around their head.
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
>>No, that is a rumor.
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
>>No, they are allergic to the stuff from the family of nut plants or trees.
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
>>They would still be pissing and pass gas before they die.
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
>>Because you don't call a prepared food vegetables. If you separately boil raw potatoes, you would call them boiled potatoes - because you haven't prepared a food item from it yet.
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
>>Maybe. Do it and let me know what happends.
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
>>Vampires don't have religion except vampirisim, don't think it matters.
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
>>Because a personality of a child is still undeveloped as compared to an adult.
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
>>I think so. Better in than out, they say.
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
>>Yes, but he would probably accessorize it and call it gay.
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
>>Surprisingly, they do!
Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
>>Because they are curious bullies?
Do stairs go up or down?
>>Depends where you are.
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
>>Its an expression.
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
>>I think it like a header...for the subject line. I used it when going to school in India.
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
>>Some do. Aren't the new ones all metal outside and wood furnish inside?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
>>Ask the guy/girl who invented the keypad for both.
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?
>>No, Hooters is a recognized brand name now.
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
>>Space is unlimited!
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
>>Depends on their contract or their supervising parents. I think some do.
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
>>Yeah, but its hard to preserve all that earwax!
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
>>No, they say fruck in their best french accent.
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
>>No. They are things the good people missed themselves the first time around.
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
>>No, its taken care by the city/state govt council. Or you fix it yourself.
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
>>Yes, that is what the fire lane is for - for them!
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
>>Yes, cloudy is in the sky above. Foggy is more ground level.
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
>>I think its 50s slang. Not sure though.
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
>>Yeah. Think breaststroke during swimming. You are doing the same thing.
Are marbles made of marble?
>>No.
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
>>Something with physics of the cup and ice properties I am sure. Ask someone who researched this.
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
>>No, but you get survival damages and free tickets for the next plane.
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
>>Because he felt like it?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
>>I don't know him or her.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
>>Again, asking the wrong person.
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
>>Is it? But I still like going there.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>>No, morons come from lack of morality.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
>>I am not sure I understand the question. Habla espanol.
Can you get cornered in a round room?
>>Technically, No.
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
>>Because they are too short. And you don't douse with so many shampoos and/or conditioners.
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
>>Yes, or the State law book? Haven't been on the witness stand.
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
>>Because one is an extreme emergency and the other is not. You got two fine legs, keep walking.
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
>>What's the song? Not familiar.
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
>>How do you know? Have you been to Hell?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
>>Reverse psychology, my bro.
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
>>Mickey Mouse is an imaginative character. Mice can be nasty and diseased vermin!
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
>>Sure, go ahead and patent it.
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
>>What are you talking about? I see Comcast and SBC commercials on regular channels all the time.
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
>>Your point being?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
>>I guess. Har har.
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
>>Physics again. Ask a scientist on the things and water properties.
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
>>Chlorine effect?
Can mute people burp?
>>Yes.
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
>>Don't know, haven't tried it yet.
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
>>Says you, not the southeast asians.
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
>>Not a music instructor.
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
>>No, it would be called a gold fork.
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
>> Don't get question.
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
>>I haven't had time to study strawberries.
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
>>Again, refer back to the food/processed item vs. the raw deal.
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
>>Yes, its for lesbians.
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
>>Blue is a soothing and neutral color and marketing research has shown that blue is more appealing in a cleaning agent than green or yellow.
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
>>Praying is private, and so is God talking back to you. Don't break the secret rule again.
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
>>Expression.
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
>>I don't like macaroni of any kind. N/A.
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
>>Again the processed and flavored food theory vs. natural raw things.
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
>>Same reason the bottom of your soles can't.
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
>>Technically yes, the school has a make up day for the snow or it cuts a holiday short. Either way you have to finish your syllabus.
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
>>Because they are dogs and animals have their society rules to follow.
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
>>Motivation or they want something in return. TINSTAAFL!
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
>>Expression.
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
>>Again, expression, if you think of something revolutionary and witty, let me know.
Jaanu
Have you seen Neville's toad, Trevor?
-
Jaan - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1059
- Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2004 3:48 am
Jaan wrote:Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings?
>> Because its dialogue? I don't know, ask a Shakespearan.
Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the scent virtually disappears?
>>Probably something with the chemistry of the gel powder? But you can get unscented jello.
Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
>>No, because it does not eat the stuff that makes you burp or fart.
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
>>Technically, yes. Because the ball was not caught, however, if the ball is found and brought back, he is out, in all sense.
If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?
>>General illness is like a everyday cold, major illness is like having high blood sugar or diabetes. And, I would suggest reading on military lit for the other answer.
Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats?
>>Can you imagine the yucky flavor of root beer icecream? Plus, sometimes, mixing the unlikely things produces great tasting results
Why is there never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English breakfast?
>>Because people eat full on an empty stomach in the mornings?
What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
>>Its polite manners.
Is it possible to be allergic to water?
>> My friend is somewhat. She will only drink flavored water (usu. fruit) or soft drink beverage. But, technically, no...else how would you live without the water moisture?
When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
>>I would like to believe they do.
Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?
>> I don't own a cat. n/a
If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
>>I think its for the ingredients of the gum. And, 10 calories is negligible. You can burn that quickly.
Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books?
>>Ask a publisher.
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
>>Easter has nothing to with bunnies or eggs. That's culture.
How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
>>You skin does get tight under hot water pressure. You face skin will stretch under continuous water touch. Try it.
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
>>Whose parents do that? That sounds crazy.
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
>>Whatever you want. Arguments are on both sides of the fence. But, traditionally it is used in a vegetable dish.
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
>>I think those are preservatives and scents for the lotion. Plus, it's a lotion, a cream, not a dye.
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
>>But there is something to be said about the coarse and unpredictable nature.
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
>>No, it's a flavor.
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
>>Because people brains are wired quite weirdly.
Whats a question with no answer called?
>>Still is a question.
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
>>Someone puts it there.
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
>>Actually, you can use both of them. I know a lot of stores will lock one door before closing time so they can monitor people coming in and out of the store. Security purposes.
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
>>Perception.
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
>>Captain.
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
>>No, but its sad that people still live in the reel world.
Do bald people get dandruff?
>>Yes, dandruff is a skin/scalp condition. Not a hair condition.
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
>>Learn chemistry for that.
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
>>I am sure there is a rule contract voiding that wish.
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
>>Might. I have't tried it.
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
>>No, it is stated specifically of the freedoms you get as a living/dead person. Like you debt is not forced on your sons/daughters after you die. Of course its diff, if you signed the papers or were on the business account from the start. I am sure there are some legalities invovled.
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
>>Yes. The one with rubber band straps that goes around their head.
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
>>No, that is a rumor.
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
>>No, they are allergic to the stuff from the family of nut plants or trees.
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
>>They would still be pissing and pass gas before they die.
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
>>Because you don't call a prepared food vegetables. If you separately boil raw potatoes, you would call them boiled potatoes - because you haven't prepared a food item from it yet.
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
>>Maybe. Do it and let me know what happends.
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
>>Vampires don't have religion except vampirisim, don't think it matters.
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
>>Because a personality of a child is still undeveloped as compared to an adult.
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
>>I think so. Better in than out, they say.
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
>>Yes, but he would probably accessorize it and call it gay.
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
>>Surprisingly, they do!
Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
>>Because they are curious bullies?
Do stairs go up or down?
>>Depends where you are.
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
>>Its an expression.
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
>>I think it like a header...for the subject line. I used it when going to school in India.
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
>>Some do. Aren't the new ones all metal outside and wood furnish inside?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
>>Ask the guy/girl who invented the keypad for both.
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?
>>No, Hooters is a recognized brand name now.
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
>>Space is unlimited!
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
>>Depends on their contract or their supervising parents. I think some do.
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
>>Yeah, but its hard to preserve all that earwax!
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
>>No, they say fruck in their best french accent.
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
>>No. They are things the good people missed themselves the first time around.
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
>>No, its taken care by the city/state govt council. Or you fix it yourself.
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
>>Yes, that is what the fire lane is for - for them!
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
>>Yes, cloudy is in the sky above. Foggy is more ground level.
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
>>I think its 50s slang. Not sure though.
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
>>Yeah. Think breaststroke during swimming. You are doing the same thing.
Are marbles made of marble?
>>No.
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
>>Something with physics of the cup and ice properties I am sure. Ask someone who researched this.
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
>>No, but you get survival damages and free tickets for the next plane.
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
>>Because he felt like it?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
>>I don't know him or her.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
>>Again, asking the wrong person.
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
>>Is it? But I still like going there.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>>No, morons come from lack of morality.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
>>I am not sure I understand the question. Habla espanol.
Can you get cornered in a round room?
>>Technically, No.
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
>>Because they are too short. And you don't douse with so many shampoos and/or conditioners.
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
>>Yes, or the State law book? Haven't been on the witness stand.
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
>>Because one is an extreme emergency and the other is not. You got two fine legs, keep walking.
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
>>What's the song? Not familiar.
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
>>How do you know? Have you been to Hell?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
>>Reverse psychology, my bro.
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
>>Mickey Mouse is an imaginative character. Mice can be nasty and diseased vermin!
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
>>Sure, go ahead and patent it.
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
>>What are you talking about? I see Comcast and SBC commercials on regular channels all the time.
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
>>Your point being?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
>>I guess. Har har.
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
>>Physics again. Ask a scientist on the things and water properties.
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
>>Chlorine effect?
Can mute people burp?
>>Yes.
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
>>Don't know, haven't tried it yet.
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
>>Says you, not the southeast asians.
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
>>Not a music instructor.
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
>>No, it would be called a gold fork.
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
>> Don't get question.
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
>>I haven't had time to study strawberries.
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
>>Again, refer back to the food/processed item vs. the raw deal.
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
>>Yes, its for lesbians.
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
>>Blue is a soothing and neutral color and marketing research has shown that blue is more appealing in a cleaning agent than green or yellow.
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
>>Praying is private, and so is God talking back to you. Don't break the secret rule again.
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
>>Expression.
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
>>I don't like macaroni of any kind. N/A.
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
>>Again the processed and flavored food theory vs. natural raw things.
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
>>Same reason the bottom of your soles can't.
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
>>Technically yes, the school has a make up day for the snow or it cuts a holiday short. Either way you have to finish your syllabus.
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
>>Because they are dogs and animals have their society rules to follow.
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
>>Motivation or they want something in return. TINSTAAFL!
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
>>Expression.
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
>>Again, expression, if you think of something revolutionary and witty, let me know.
Jaanu
ok baby... ^^^^^ was very fkin scary... i mean.. good with the answers an all.. but to actually do all tht... just plain fkin scary..... i shall have to fight for the rights to scariness now.... dammit
Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. Believe in nothing.
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agonys_Requiem - Registered User
- Posts: 270
- Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2004 12:29 pm
- Location: between places....
agonys_Requiem wrote:ok baby... ^^^^^ was very fkin scary... i mean.. good with the answers an all.. but to actually do all tht... just plain fkin scary..... i shall have to fight for the rights to scariness now.... dammit
Muhahahaha *scary face*
and I can't believe you read all that!
ding! boredom personified!
Jaanu
Have you seen Neville's toad, Trevor?
-
Jaan - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1059
- Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2004 3:48 am
spam...spamtaneous wrote:sansan wrote:Jaan...
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
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CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
Boredom Personifieds:
1.All those ladies watching the saas-bahu kkkkk serials.
2.All those desperate Indian cricket fans who'd watch a test series of India vs Bangladesh/Kenya/Netherland(heck I dont even know for sure if there's a Netherlands cricket team!!)
3. Me.
1.All those ladies watching the saas-bahu kkkkk serials.
2.All those desperate Indian cricket fans who'd watch a test series of India vs Bangladesh/Kenya/Netherland(heck I dont even know for sure if there's a Netherlands cricket team!!)
3. Me.
I THINK...THEREFORE I AM.
-
Wisey - Registered User
- Posts: 423
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 9:38 pm
CtrlAltDel wrote:spam...spamtaneous wrote:sansan wrote:Jaan...
CAD
boredom personified...this name game
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spamtaneous - Level 1 Lord
- Posts: 2431
- Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:42 pm
What the ...... ?
And I Thought I had Problems.
- mrphoebs
- Registered User
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Sat May 28, 2005 2:31 am
u are not alone mrphoebs...
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
-
CtrlAltDel - God!
- Posts: 14824
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
ycr007 wrote:Who's more bored- the bored guy/gal who Copy-pastes a Looooooong pieceO' text?? or anyone who reads/quotes the loooong post and then adds his/her comments?
wht abt the guys who actually types the entire "99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall"?????
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
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rock_26iin - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6111
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:42 pm
- Location: L0ST !N $PACE
rock_26iin wrote:wht abt the guys who actually types the entire "99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall"?????
I'm sure he/she musta've used Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V a good deal
Waitaminnit,U ain't talking abt urself are ya
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ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
Bored ... Bored ... Bored ... BORED ... B O R E D ... B O R
Bored ... Bored ... Bored ... BORED ... B O R E D ... B O R E D ...
Build Heaven & Earth Links!
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HH - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6245
- Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2004 8:40 am
44 posts
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