To Wipe or not to Wipe

[asli_badmash]

I am at a crossroads in my life... I need to make a descision and I need your help...



I want to adopt a life style.. There are two basic types that I am looking at...



Wiping your ass life style and washing your ass life style.



So, should I Wipe or Wash? What do you do and Why ?



~Badmash~



PS : For my ass; Me thinks .. Wipe-Wash-Wipe.. ahhhhh Clean as new.

[ZC]

PS : For my ass; Me thinks .. Wipe-Wash-Wipe.. ahhhhh Clean as new.

thats the best thing "Ass Shining" then u may want to drop one of the things depending on, how much polish u need and the availability of the varnish etc..................

[gods_gift2_mankind]

stick to wiping. we cud save a lotta water that way. n god knows we need that - with summer hitting us smack in the middle



but that doesnt mean u use up all the toilet paper - we need that as well - what with the elections coming our way n all



polishing is probably a good idea if u wanna look like a shiny new table, or a brand new, waxed set of wheels

[Prince]

Too late in the day, asli, if you aren't doing one or the other already.



My question is, why bother now, all of a sudden? Discovered something today?

[akhilis2cool]

I am at a crossroads in my life... I need to make a descision and I need your help...

I want to adopt a life style.. There are two basic types that I am looking at...

Wiping your ass life style and washing your ass life style.

So, should I Wipe or Wash? What do you do and Why ?

~Badmash~

PS : For my ass; Me thinks .. Wipe-Wash-Wipe.. ahhhhh Clean as new.

If u r in india its better u wash it coz people are not used to paper. On the contrary if there is a scarcity of water u can use paper and colin or dettol. BTW rain harvesting is not a bad idea.

[Inspi]

I wonder what have u been doing all these days..



I would suggest u to wash and wipe when u go out..



Two most important things to do daily



1) Pray so that u may live longer



2) wash and wipe so that others can live longer...

[asli_badmash]

I wonder what have u been doing all these days..

I had phases...



Age 0-3 : Parents washed my ass and then wiped it. happy times



Age 4-6 : I washed my ass with parental assistance and wiped it.



Age 6 + : I washed my ass then wiped it. No assistance...



and now I am tired of doing it one way... maybe we should get an ass brush or something.. then apply paste to it and clean our ass that way. Or maybe we should get a vaccume cleaner for ass ?



akhil: I tried rain harvesting while I went camping once. I did my buisness and as it was rainign outside. I raised my ass up to Rain to wash. Didnt work.. too little water.. too much do-do... messy Hahahahahah!



Inspi: I do keep it clean so others can live longer... good one though!



Did you guys ever had to use leaves or grass to wipe... I want to find out if there are alternate methods of wiping ass other than paper ?



~Badmash~

[azazel]

Did you guys ever had to use leaves or grass to wipe... I want to find out if there are alternate methods of wiping ass other than paper ?

~Badmash~

try ur boss..

just read another of ur posts where u said :

'i bring out issues that others dont want to talk about'

i second that

p.s: i wash n wipe , just wiping is uggghhh n smelly with bits n pieaces however small hanging around

[gods_gift2_mankind]

I want to find out if there are alternate methods of wiping ass other than paper ?

try ur mom's curtains. she'll prolly freak if she evr finds out, but with the way curtains n everything else looks this way, she prolly never will



or alternately u could use up ur siblings best clothes - effective 2 take revenge!



or the newspapers - some more crap smeared on it won't make a difference - the only problem wud be that u wud get ink on ur butt.



or u cud go all primitive n resort 2 nature n use leaves - its a different thing that u'll get bugs up in all the wrong places.

[Bimbette]

I was laughing by the time I finished reading all the posts!!!!!!!!



How on earth do u guys come up with such crap! (pun unintended)

[asli_badmash]

try ur mom's curtains.... or alternately u could use up ur siblings best clothes....or the newspapers - some more crap smeared on it won't make a difference - grass and leaves... u'll get bugs up in all the wrong places.

Very creative... People do take care of their ass on fullhyd.com.

And I thought I had an ASS fetish. I belive a healthy ass always smells good. Maybe that is why dogs smell ass before mmmmm...mmmm action on the road.

i wash n wipe , just wiping is uggghhh n smelly with bits n pieaces however small hanging around

Ewwwww....



~badmash~

[azazel]

hygiene biradar..

dunno abt others, with the kind of advice u were gettin, curtains/leaves!

i do take care of my ass

[Prince]

How on earth do u guys come up with such crap! (pun unintended)

Asli makes an ass of himself in such a delightful way, I had half the mind to ask him if he hasn't been having a bath/ washing his body all this while.



Asli, nevertheless, enjoyed this board. I only hope this gets messier

[asli_badmash]

Asli makes an ass of himself in such a delightful way, I had half the mind to ask him if he hasn't been having a bath/ washing his body all this while.

Prince: Some places on my body, need more washing and wiping than others. By the way I subscribe to "Body is a temple" philosophy. You take care of the body and the body takes care of you.



Azazel : True... Better clean than sorry.



Bimbette: There is more crap from where all this came.... tune in... wipe well and stay clean.



So this happened a couple of years ago.. Some Guy I knew was making the transition from the "washing world" to the "wiping world", and he asked me some basic questions.



1. How many sheets of papaer do we use to wipe?

2. How do we wipe... from front to back or back to front?

3. What do we do with the sheets after we are done wiping?

4. If I want to wash where do I wash... I dont have the eastern style "Khudi". Hahahha!



I was amused.. but all these were good questions, he had never sat on a western crapper before. So I thought I should tell him how all this works.



1. Use as many sheets as you can.



2. Men can go both ways... back to front or front to back.. I prefer front to back... women I dont know... may be front to back?



3. Flush.. Dont do anything else, no matter how hungry you are



4. Wherever you wash, dont mess up my bathroom. If you do I am going to wipe the floor with you.



What would you have said ?



~badmash~

[ZC]

and now I am tired of doing it one way... maybe we should get an ass brush or something.. then apply paste to it and clean our ass that way. Or maybe we should get a vaccume cleaner for ass ?

u need something(one) **** ***** ke liye

[CtrlAltDel]

i am a die hard "Washerman"...even when i go abroad, the first thing i buy is a plastic mug from a 2$ shop...i've even used a big coffee mug flicked from the kitchen of a service apartment i stayed in!



long plane journeys are hell for me...



washing also prevents embarrassing "skidmarks" in underwear.



another reason is environmental. everytime u wipe yr ass with paper, u r contributing to destruction of some rain-forest...also wiping out 100s of species of unknown plants n animals....

[azazel]

can u absolutely, positively be sure that wiping doesnt leave anything behind?? dun think so n that makes it disgusting!!

remember, "One who sleepeth with itchy bum, waketh with smelly finger"

[CtrlAltDel]

can u absolutely, positively be sure that wiping doesnt leave anything behind?? dun think so n that makes it disgusting!!

Height of Disgust: u wipe after a good dump...and your finger pokes thru the 'paper...!

remember, "One who sleepeth with itchy bum, waketh with smelly finger"

wah...wah....wah...



makes a good Haiku!

[akhilis2cool]

I wonder what have u been doing all these days..

I had phases...

Age 0-3 : Parents washed my ass and then wiped it. happy times

Age 4-6 : I washed my ass with parental assistance and wiped it.

Age 6 + : I washed my ass then wiped it. No assistance...

and now I am tired of doing it one way... maybe we should get an ass brush or something.. then apply paste to it and clean our ass that way. Or maybe we should get a vaccume cleaner for ass ?

akhil: I tried rain harvesting while I went camping once. I did my buisness and as it was rainign outside. I raised my ass up to Rain to wash. Didnt work.. too little water.. too much do-do... messy Hahahahahah!

Inspi: I do keep it clean so others can live longer... good one though!

Did you guys ever had to use leaves or grass to wipe... I want to find out if there are alternate methods of wiping ass other than paper ?

~Badmash~

thats a strange way of washing ones ass after doing the business.

i guess since u were camping u would have had a tumbler with u may be u could have tried filling it with the abundant rain water....and then using it with paper or what ever........but looking at ur expirience and u saying it did not work ....u must have had a real hard time washing ur under pants (if u wash it ur self that is, if not....then may god help ur maid.)

[CtrlAltDel]

Did you guys ever had to use leaves or grass to wipe...

before using any strange leaves or grass its better to make sure what they are, else u cud spend most of your day frantically scratching yr backside. i think banana leaf is the safest...smooth and no possible allergic reactions!

I want to find out if there are alternate methods of wiping ass other than paper ?

well...i can suggest the Doggy Style... ...wait...b4 yr imagination runs away lemme explain: like most dogs do, squat on the floor and push yourself forward, with yr "business end" rubbing the floor....



might work, but u'll have a lot to explain abt the bathroom floor to yr wife or mom...

[ZC]

dont wipe, dont wash..........................i want to live .........like an animal: Savage Garden

[sunny]

Am new to this forum , and this assy discussion reminded me of a Graffiti i found on a toilet door....this is how it goes:



Here I lie in stinky vapor,

Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,

Shall I lie, or shall I linger,

Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

[azazel]

remember, "One who sleepeth with itchy bum, waketh with smelly finger"

wah...wah....wah...

shukriya shukriya.. mamu se kuch to seekho

[Happy Hyderabadi]

Re: (Cl)assy Issues



Passed through Cairo Air Port, several Years ago ... Had to use the WC, better to call it MEC because of its design ... You just s(h)it, flush and be hit by jet from below ... A neat and cool s(h)it, hit and clean job, every time assured!



Pl invite ME Experts for havin this Facility in Every Home!

[CtrlAltDel]

... You just s(h)it, flush and be hit by jet from below ... A neat and cool s(h)it, hit and clean job, every time assured!

from below? u mean to say...the water from the commode sprays back on u...?????



yechchchchc...