Humor...or something like it.

by **romu** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 11:33 pm

Stingrae wrote:
romu wrote:'Sink or Swim' ....

bachuu...welcome to FH.....

Welcome to the DBs Mr.R.G

we joined on d same day...look at dat....

ty for the welcome stingrae

.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Mon Jun 07, 2004 2:04 am

what did one needle say to the other...?

wanna feel my prick....?

by **Stingrae** » Mon Jun 07, 2004 9:59 am

CtrlAltDel wrote:what did one needle say to the other...?

wanna feel my prick....?

hahahaha!!!

:mrgreen:

by **Adonis** » Mon Jun 07, 2004 10:04 am

what did one needle say to the other...?

wanna feel my prick....?

that was a lame joke .....

but i am laughing my ass off !!!! :lol:

by **CtrlAltDel** » Mon Jun 07, 2004 5:20 pm

Adonis wrote:...i am laughing my ass off !!!!

mission accomplished.... :lol:

anyway here's another one:

Describing Breasts in Chat Rooms

(o)(o) Perfect Breasts

(+) (+) Silicone Breasts

(*)(*) High Nipple Breasts

(@)(@) Big Nipple Breasts

oo A Cups

{O} {O} D Cups

(oYo) Wonder Bra Breasts

(^^)(^^) Cold Breasts

(o)(O) Lop Sided Breasts

(Q)(O) Pierced Breasts

( p )( p ) Hanging Tassel Breasts

\o/\o/ Grandma's Breasts

( - )( - ) Flat against the Shower Door Breasts

< o >< o > Electric Shock Breasts

|o||o| Android Breasts

( / )( o ) Scratched Breasts

(% )( o ) Extra Nipple Breasts

( $ )( $ ) Pamela Anderson Breasts

by **azazel** » Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:35 pm

guruji , ye kya kar rahe ho ??? :shock:

by **-:-PhAt-:-** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 4:22 am

TAUBA TAUBA...

***Cross my path I'll crush ya, thinking I won't touch ya***

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 4:24 am

Damn, didnt notice this :shock:

Control bhai is totally out of control...we need Ctrl's home minister here to keep him under control.

by **azazel** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 2:38 pm

define a lesbian :

Just another woman trying to do a man's job :roll:

by **Stingrae** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 2:47 pm

CADjii...aapne hadh paar kar diye....

now dat was entertainin........

:D

my next post wud hav somethin on verry similar lines....

by **Stingrae** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 2:55 pm

here we go.... if CADBhai can post on random body parts...so can i

:D:D

_______________________________-

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

____________________________________

:mrgreen:

by **CtrlAltDel** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 3:07 pm

Stingrae wrote:(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

...and another thing:

a cuss emoticon:

(_o_) - A**ehole

by **CtrlAltDel** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 3:12 pm

my contribution for the day:

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was...God! I miss him!

But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!".

by **CtrlAltDel** » Wed Jun 09, 2004 1:45 pm

one more contribution from my funny collection:

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice.The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains what happened.

The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with a coworker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "He's a dwarf"

by **Stingrae** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 12:03 am

CtrlAltDel wrote:one more contribution from my funny collection:

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice.The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains what happened.

The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with a coworker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "He's a dwarf"

ole sms joke dat one...but still good...dis one cracks me up always...

Research has shown that there's a nerve connecting your eyes and your anus. Its called the anal-optical nerve. Dont blive me?

Pluck a hair from ur ass n SEE if u dont get a tear from ur eye.. :mrgreen:

by **CtrlAltDel** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 10:53 am

my humble contribution for the day

*************************************

A young guy asks his new girlfriend on a date the following Saturday evening.

Saturday night arrives and the man arrives at her house laden with flowers and chocolates. The girl answers the door.

"I'm sorry," she exclaims, "I am running a bit late. Please come in and I'll introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while I finish getting dressed. I should warn you however, that they are both deaf mutes."

With this she ushers him into the living room, introduces him to her parents and promptly disappears. Both are silent, Dad sitting in his arm chair watching a cricket match, and Mom busy knitting.

After about ten minutes of complete silence, Mom suddenly jumps from her chair, pulls up her skirt pulls down her panties and pours a glass of water over her arse. Just as suddenly Dad launches himself across the room bends her over the couch and takes her from behind. He then sits back down in his chair and places a match stick under each eye lid. The room is plunged back into eerie silence and the young man is shocked into disbelief.

After a further ten minutes the mother again rises from her chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her panties and throws another glass of water over her arse. Dad leaps up gives her one from behind and places two more match sticks under his eyelids.

No sooner have they concluded this strange behavior and the daughter returns fully dressed ready for their date. The evening is a complete disaster with the young man completely distracted by the goings on in the living room.

At the end of the evening the girl asks, "What's the matter? Have I done something wrong?"

"It's not you," replied her date, "It's just that the strangest thing happened while I was waiting for you and I am still a bit shocked."

After pleading with him to explain in more detail the young man reluctantly recounts the story.

'Well, first your Mother jumps from her chair and lifts up her skirt. She then pulls down her pants and throws a glass of water over her behind."

"I see," says the girl, "What happened then?"

"Well, if that isn't enough your Father races from his chair leans Mom over the couch and does her from behind. He then sits back down and places a matchstick under each eyelid.'

"Oh, is that all?" replies the girl.

The young man can't believe the casual response to this weird practice.

"It's easily explained. Mom was simply saying, 'Are you going to get this a**h*le a drink?' and Dad was replying, 'No, f**k him. I'm watching the match.'"

by **azazel** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 11:38 pm

^^^ tht was '..something like it' part of the topic

by **Stingrae** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 11:44 pm

azazel wrote:^^^ tht was '..something like it' part of the topic

'tis gr8 to see dis thread still alive....

DNA : National Dyslexics Association

by **akhilis2cool** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 10:14 am

So after azhar bhai sangita aunti and they spent there first night, azza asked sangita......."so how was the shot between the fine leg(s)"

Sangita replied "it was nice...but u r not the opening batsman"

by **azazel** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 12:15 pm

After having their eleventh child, a North Georgia Mountain couple decided that 11 was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but it was expensive.

"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in the North Georgia Mountains), light it, put it in an empty beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the hillbilly went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5..."

At this point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Kentucky, West Virginia, Arkansas, Louisiana, and parts of Mississippi.

by **Stingrae** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 7:22 pm

dude....hahahaha!!! good one..

:D

Why was the dyslexic kid always frightened of Christmas eve?

'coz he heard somewhere that at night, Satan comes down the chimney.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 7:58 pm

my humble contributions:

A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease.

"Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?"

"Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?"

"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?"

"And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?"

"Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?"

"Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"

*********************************************************

A little Red Indian boy asks his chief how babies in their tribe get their peculiar descriptive names.

The chief replies, "When a baby is born, the father takes him outside of the teepee (hut), holds him over his head, and names him after the first thing he sees - thats why your brother is named 'Running-Wolf' and your sister 'Flying-Cloud'. By the way, why this doubt, dear 'Two-Dogs-F*cking'?...".

***********************************************************

by **rock_26iin** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 8:03 pm

my humble contribution:

Sherlock Holmes tells his secretary that she is not wearing ne panties. His secretary is shocked and asks him how did he know to which he replies

"There's dandruf on ure shoes"

:lol:

by **Stingrae** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:54 pm

Whats brown n sticky?

A stick.

by **rock_26iin** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:55 pm

Stingrae wrote::?

Whats brown n sticky?

A stick.

A sticky stick

duh!!

:roll:

Humor...or something like it.

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