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by Aloeswood » Tue Nov 16, 2004 12:52 am

Hope you don't mind advice from a Canadian female living in China and married to a stubborn chinese national!

No matter what situation we are in, we are free to choose our thoughts and how we deal with the world at every moment. I can understand because of religion and culture, it is very very difficult to divorce your husband. If you divorced your husband, would you face a violent situation from either him or your family, or would they just all be very very angry? If you are not in a violent or threatening situation, then you must face your husband very seriously and tell him how dedicated you are to your family and culture, but you are no longer willing to listen to his suspicions. Tell him that it shows a lack of confidence in himself and total dishonour against you and your family to be so suspicious. People who are suspicious are usually the ones who are feeling guilty for doing the guilty act themselves and they become paranoid that their spouse is doing the same thing.

Meditation or going for a walk in nature is another way to get clear answers about what you should do as meditation clears your mind to the point where you can feel what your heart desires. What do you want out of life? If you are in an abusive situation, then you must think deeply about you should do as I really believe that dedication to one's culture and one's religion does not mean accepting abuse.

Jealously and suspicion are serious faults to have and if your husband is dedicated to his religion and culture as well, then maybe you should point out to him that he is not respecting or being dedicated to his culture. Or, go to your brothers, your parents and his parents with your husband with you and tell them the trouble it is causing in your marriage. Maybe they will be able to put pressure on him to leave you alone.

Best of Luck to you~
Aloeswood
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Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:06 pm

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