pre-marital sexx okkksssss plzzzzzz

[Mayavi Morpheus]

Thanks marko, you have added head to my post.

And this plus many other reasons like, mean nature of few, dumbness, etc lead to supression of propagation of actual cause behind all the nasty and weired looking customs and traditions we follow. Any one over these boards, please be caucious before you talk loose about Indian culture. You are offending me by saying such baseless things. Start using ur common sense to make out the purpose. Try to probe what the vedas are about. You will be surprised to know vedas are not about God.

Kavita, while I agree that out ancestors may have had some sort of sound logic behind all those traditions and customs which fit very well with the society of their times, what logic justifies such practices in todays modern world?
Are we incapable of evolving our own customs that suit our modern needs? Why should we blindly ape our ancestors?
Every custom/tradition has a starting point, which means that at some point in the past, our ancestors thought that it was useless following the customs and traditions of their ancestors and started a new custom/tradition. We should emulate them and evolve according to our needs.
This doesnt necessarily mean that we should challenge every tradition. Change only those which donot fit the modern world or interfere with out day to day lives.

Why do arabic women wear Hijabs and why are those black in color? There is a sound reason behind that. The arab men needed to protect their women from other warring tribes who kidnap women , hence they used to cover their faces with Hijabs. Now, both men and women cover their entire body with black robe (men use black rugs) to protect themselves from scorching heat. If the hijab wasnt made a symbol of Islamic religion, how relevant do you think it is in todays organized 'air-conditioned' life? Same with rajput women who use ghoongat.

Whatever morals the vedas, bibles and Korans of the world are teaching would not change with time, but the societal beliefs, customs and traditions that got incorporated into religion over time got to change.

As mark put it, our society canged from extremely liberal society to conservative to a fundamentalist society. It's unique in a way that the rulers were from three different religions and cultures. We have assimilated all cultures to be what we are today.

Caves (forgot the name of the famous caves) - The society then in that place was devastated due to calamity (may be epidamic or war or somethig) and people lost happiness from their lives and looked gloomy. The s*x game being highest thiller and safer to life, the then King though would the best way to encourage to start living fun filled lives and order the making of this caves. Very similar to we coming up with theme parks. Thats how smart our kings were, they used to consider every aspect of live, not just this or that. Sincearity, loyality and purity were given very high importance.

I think you'd change your mind if you read the story of Kajhuraho temples.
And the bolded part is definitely not true.
Btw, do you realise that you are supporting sex as a form of entertainment, as something that gives you pleasure and makes you happy.

But I think society should be caucious, and should protect every ones interest. Some may not be ready for physical relationships out side marriage. But there are so many incidents happening around, minor raped and murded, etc etc. Society considers it a low. And this is misinterpreted AND there are quite many brutes around who drag (innocent, unwise) people into s*x rackets, etc. So society made a Generalised statement - s*x deprived of morals is bad.

I dunno how all this is related to my sexual choices I make and the marriage licence that society grants me to have sex.

All this time I was talking about society and culture but my personal opinion on s*x outside marriage, either before or after, is: its done by over enthuziastic less moraled people. Dont ask me why I think it is moral-less so, I did not figure it out yet, but I think It Is so.

Say a couple had sex and then married. Would they still be moral-less people. What is the difference between them and the people who had sex after marriage.

[Mayavi Morpheus]

Thanks marko, you have added head to my post.

And this plus many other reasons like, mean nature of few, dumbness, etc lead to supression of propagation of actual cause behind all the nasty and weired looking customs and traditions we follow. Any one over these boards, please be caucious before you talk loose about Indian culture. You are offending me by saying such baseless things. Start using ur common sense to make out the purpose. Try to probe what the vedas are about. You will be surprised to know vedas are not about God.

Kavita, while I agree that out ancestors may have had some sort of sound logic behind all those traditions and customs which fit very well with the society of their times, what logic justifies such practices in todays modern world?
Are we incapable of evolving our own customs that suit our modern needs? Why should we blindly ape our ancestors?
Every custom/tradition has a starting point, which means that at some point in the past, our ancestors thought that it was useless following the customs and traditions of their ancestors and started a new custom/tradition. We should emulate them and evolve according to our needs.
This doesnt necessarily mean that we should challenge every tradition. Change only those which donot fit the modern world or interfere with out day to day lives.

Why do arabic women wear Hijabs and why are those black in color? There is a sound reason behind that. The arab men needed to protect their women from other warring tribes who kidnap women , hence they used to cover their faces with Hijabs. Now, both men and women cover their entire body with black robe (men use black rugs) to protect themselves from scorching heat. If the hijab wasnt made a symbol of Islamic religion, how relevant do you think it is in todays organized 'air-conditioned' life? Same with rajput women who use ghoongat.

Whatever morals the vedas, bibles and Korans of the world are teaching would not change with time, but the societal beliefs, customs and traditions that got incorporated into religion over time got to change.

As mark put it, our society canged from extremely liberal society to conservative to a fundamentalist society. It's unique in a way that the rulers were from three different religions and cultures. We have assimilated all cultures to be what we are today.

Caves (forgot the name of the famous caves) - The society then in that place was devastated due to calamity (may be epidamic or war or somethig) and people lost happiness from their lives and looked gloomy. The s*x game being highest thiller and safer to life, the then King though would the best way to encourage to start living fun filled lives and order the making of this caves. Very similar to we coming up with theme parks. Thats how smart our kings were, they used to consider every aspect of live, not just this or that. Sincearity, loyality and purity were given very high importance.

I think you'd change your mind if you read the story of Kajhuraho temples.
And the bolded part is definitely not true.
Btw, do you realise that you are supporting sex as a form of entertainment, as something that gives you pleasure and makes you happy.

But I think society should be caucious, and should protect every ones interest. Some may not be ready for physical relationships out side marriage. But there are so many incidents happening around, minor raped and murded, etc etc. Society considers it a low. And this is misinterpreted AND there are quite many brutes around who drag (innocent, unwise) people into s*x rackets, etc. So society made a Generalised statement - s*x deprived of morals is bad.

I dunno how all this is related to my sexual choices I make and the marriage licence that society grants me to have sex.

All this time I was talking about society and culture but my personal opinion on s*x outside marriage, either before or after, is: its done by over enthuziastic less moraled people. Dont ask me why I think it is moral-less so, I did not figure it out yet, but I think It Is so.

Say a couple had sex and then married. Would they still be moral-less people. What is the difference between them and the people who had sex after marriage.

What about those who are married-divorced-married again? Clearly they had more than one partners (both licenced, ofcourse).... what about them?

What about all the people who post here on this board and in the society... the people around you. If I tell you that a certain X that you know off and respect is not a "virgin", will he/she suddenly become moral-less for you or the society?

[akhilis2cool]

aye.

[Angle]

is it wrong to have sex before marriage ????????/

helo archiii

i think u wanna make the move but hesitating cos u dont know the rite n wrong of this issue.

well i did some thinking on the same subject some time back. let me share my thinking and conclusion with u. and let me know if i was vague anywhere or if u have a counter-question so that we cud learn more and come to a new conclusion if necessary.



Adult Consensual Sex is never wrong. be it marital or pre-marital.



if someone says that sex after marriage is fine but before marriage is bad, that person has a very cheap understanding of 'marriage'. marriage isnt really abt sex.

sex is a personal choice. wanna remain a virgin till marriage? fine. dont want to? fine. its ur personal choice.



so archii, the question here is not whether premarital sex is right or wrong. the question here is "will u b able to tell the guy/girl that ur gonna marry - abt ur premarital sex life?" thats the question u hav to think abt. cos u never know, that person mite want to marry a virgin.



if u have no prob in telling him/her abt ur premarital sexual life, then go ahead with ur sex life. but if u do have a prob with that, ur left with two options

1. dont have sex bfore marriage (or)

2. dont marry



theres ofcourse another option. u have sex now and dont tell that to ur life partner. i think thats the worst thing anyone cud do and i hope u dont wanna do that.





wat do u say?

[Portuguese Man-Of-War]

I haven't seen this entire thread, so perhaps somebody has already said what I have to say.



Why does every religion ban pre-marital sex?



First, religion is mostly a way to control your mind. Most people will live 70 years without ever seeing God, but believing that He exists, and that He is taking care of them. Even if the exact same things happen in their lives that happen in the life of a non-believer, they will be less troubled, since they think God will improve things, or that God has willed things in a certain way for their own good, or that God has lessened the intensity of what might have otherwise happened. This gives them some comfort in bad times, and some security in other times. The external world is exactly the same whether you believe or not.



So, religion is a great way to keep your mind under control. You will feel less troubled in instances of similar angst than a non-believer. I do not know if God exists or not, but I think that the concept has the greatest power of any known to man. Yes, faith can move mountains.



Religion is the biggest mind-game known to man.



I think most laws that are made by religion are a means to save you from certain dangers or put you on a path of least trouble in your stay on earth. There is logic behind everything, behind every rule, even if some might not be relevant due to changed circumstances today.



Some brilliant person / persons would know what mental trauma you can visit upon yourself if you do certain things, and so says that it is against religion, forbidden by God. He can simply tell you the logic behind it, but he chooses to say it's proscribed by God. Why?



Since most people are immature and will not accept a logical argument, choosing instead to find out for themselves. But if you say it is a decree passed by God, there will be greater compliance. And more people will be happy since they do not do something that can cause them intense grief.



Also, to convey logic to someone takes a lot of talking, or that person doing a lot of reading of what has been written. The logic therefore can't be conveyed to large masses, and down several generations.



A decree from God, on the other hand, can be conveyed very easily.



So, several principles for good living become religious faits.



Now coming to pre-marital sex.



Unless you are a person who can sleep with someone and forget about it, sex has huge potential side-effects on your psyche. And even of you are a person who can sleep with someone and forget about it, you are probably inflicting upon the other person huge potential side-effects on the psyche.



First, you can't have sex with someone just like that in most circumstances - there is a courting game, and there is intimacy built.



Then, a man or woman having sex with you is the greatest that the person can offer you in an emotional relationship. When that happens, you feel that the person belongs to you. You feel very special. And the intimacy grows dramatically after sexual congress.



If after that this same person goes and sleeps with someone else, it can be disastrous for your mind. I am not going to elaborate on this - everyone in this forum I guess is an adult who knows how the human mind works.



What is a break-up? It is the trauma caused by the fact that you are no longer the center of the universe for someone else, that that person is now going to do things with someone else that were exclusively reserved for you. Most human beings cannot take it.



Several people kill themselves over break-ups and failed relationships. At the very least, most of them are wrecks for several months, and some unfortunate ones never recover.



The summary is:



1. To want to have sex with someone, you'll have to court the person. Post-sex, if you do not want to marry the person, he/she is going to be very hurt due to all the intimacy built. It's all very easy to say that you never told that person you'd marry him/her - things don't work that way. The other way, too - you may have wanted just sex when you started the courtship, and the other person too, but now you have built intimacy, but the other person is less emotional and wants to move on. You end up phenomenally hurt as he/she goes ahead doing it with other persons. You never expected all this when you were being driven just by the need for sex.



2. If the thought of pre-marital sex weren't on your mind, you wouldn't court a lot of people in your life, since you never have the intention at any stage of marrying several people who you want to have sex with. Thus, you wouldn't cause lots of hurt. Similarly, you wouldn't get hurt yourself if people didn't court you just to have sex with you for a while and then look elsewhere.



Thus, the thought of pre-marital sex being legitimate causes us to do things that can cause a lot of potential hurt to us or to others.



No saint will think that this much logic can be explained to every person on earth, and across generations. So he'll just say it's against religion, to ensure compliance.



The standard arguments that'll flow:



1. Not all people are emotional. I certainly am not, and so I won't get hurt.



Sure. But as you are going around having sex since you believe pre-marital sex is quite okay, the probability that you hurt someone or yourself keeps increasing. Hurting someone else so that you can move on is as big a sin as any.



2. I'll have sex only with people I know will not get hurt - people who do it with others too, and so will not get emotional.



Well, you are treading very dangerous ground. If _you_ get emotional about one such person, you've really had it. And you probably will, too - if you had enough control over your mind, you probably wouldn't be itching for pre-marital sex.





Lastly, I'm not a saint who preaches. Neither are all the people who originally lay down the tenets of religion. They just know that each time you do it, you are playing with fire.

[Lucifer]

That was quiet a loooooong post, PMoW, though I must confess that I did not read all of it . My add on follows.



PMoW, you have raised some valid points. And that is exactly that begs questioning - the validity. You speak of wise men who have defined for us the ways of life. Nothing wrong with that. But, how do you conclude that such a person is wise?



What was applicable yesterday might not be applicable today. Things change, people change, needs change. Who is to say that what we do today is not right simply because it was not thought to be so a few hundred years ago? A case in point.



It was common for Hindu men to have multiple wives, even women to have multiple husbands. Today it is not just considered illegal, it is also thought to be immoral. Hinduism does not condemn it. The thing is that with times, thoughts and midsets change. Who is to say that the change is for good or bad unless one has the luxury of hindsight?



As far as what I think of pre-marital sex is concerned, I have no thoughts on the issue. It is a personal choice best left to the individual.

[Ekta]

Since most of the men here are so-so in favor of pre-marital sex, and ask “Why wait for marriage to have sex”? Let me reciprocate your question and so, “Why need to have sex before marriage? What are the pleasures of having sex”?



Most people say "We need to experiment to see if we're sexually compatible, especially since marriage is such a big step." Some express it like this: "You try on a pair of shoes before you buy them!" The "try-before-you-buy" idea breaks down because the human plumbing system is very flexible and almost always works. Again, premarital sex can erode trust and communication. It's wiser to test your compatibility as persons. Even happily married couples often need several years to adjust sexually to each other.



Besides, sex can cloud the issue. Sex is not the key to love. Love is the key to sex. Couples who approach marriage thinking that "We're in love so it's OK to have sex" or "We'll use sex to determine if we're in love" may be sorely disappointed. They may discover that what they thought was love is only charged-up sex sensations. Waiting until marriage does not guarantee that you'll be emotionally compatible, but it does help create a less confusing environment in which to find out before you take the step of a marriage commitment.

Now, let us look at the negative effects a pre-marital sex can cause to women.



The emotional side effects of premarital sex are also damaging to a young woman. It's not uncommon for a girl to have sex in order to make a guy like her more, or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards because she's afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an emotional divorce takes place. A person's heart is not made to be that close to a person, and then separated. Since teenage sexual relationships rarely last, the girl's sense of self-worth is often damaged. Also, she sometimes concludes that if she looked better, he would have stayed longer. This mentality can lead to many disorders.



In her heart, a girl who has been used knows it. However, she may immediately jump into another sexual relationship to escape the hurt. If she tries to boost her self-esteem by giving guys what they want, then her self-worth often ends up depending upon those kinds of relationships. Her development as a woman is stunted, because without chastity she doesn't know how to express affection, appreciation, or attraction for a guy without implying something sexual. She may even conclude that a guy doesn't love her unless he makes sexual advances towards her. She knows that sex exists without intimacy, but she may forget that intimacy can exist without sex. A girl on this track usually feels accepted initially but that acceptance lasts only as long as the physical pleasure.



And though numerous couples who have tried pre-marital sex succeeded and ended up marrying each other, there are also numerous cases who failed. So, what could be the effect for both parties involved?



There are advantages and disadvantages of doing it. Let us not look only at the bright side, might as well, open your minds and see thoroughly the negative sides out of doing it, man or woman, emotional or non-emotional.

[Ar!e$]

Since most of the men here are so-so in favor of pre-marital sex, and ask “Why wait for marriage to have sex”? Let me reciprocate your question and so, “Why need to have sex before marriage? What are the pleasures of having sex”?

Most people say "We need to experiment to see if we're sexually compatible, especially since marriage is such a big step." Some express it like this: "You try on a pair of shoes before you buy them!" The "try-before-you-buy" idea breaks down because the human plumbing system is very flexible and almost always works. Again, premarital sex can erode trust and communication. It's wiser to test your compatibility as persons. Even happily married couples often need several years to adjust sexually to each other.

Besides, sex can cloud the issue. Sex is not the key to love. Love is the key to sex. Couples who approach marriage thinking that "We're in love so it's OK to have sex" or "We'll use sex to determine if we're in love" may be sorely disappointed. They may discover that what they thought was love is only charged-up sex sensations. Waiting until marriage does not guarantee that you'll be emotionally compatible, but it does help create a less confusing environment in which to find out before you take the step of a marriage commitment.
Now, let us look at the negative effects a pre-marital sex can cause to women.

The emotional side effects of premarital sex are also damaging to a young woman. It's not uncommon for a girl to have sex in order to make a guy like her more, or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards because she's afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an emotional divorce takes place. A person's heart is not made to be that close to a person, and then separated. Since teenage sexual relationships rarely last, the girl's sense of self-worth is often damaged. Also, she sometimes concludes that if she looked better, he would have stayed longer. This mentality can lead to many disorders.

In her heart, a girl who has been used knows it. However, she may immediately jump into another sexual relationship to escape the hurt. If she tries to boost her self-esteem by giving guys what they want, then her self-worth often ends up depending upon those kinds of relationships. Her development as a woman is stunted, because without chastity she doesn't know how to express affection, appreciation, or attraction for a guy without implying something sexual. She may even conclude that a guy doesn't love her unless he makes sexual advances towards her. She knows that sex exists without intimacy, but she may forget that intimacy can exist without sex. A girl on this track usually feels accepted initially but that acceptance lasts only as long as the physical pleasure.

And though numerous couples who have tried pre-marital sex succeeded and ended up marrying each other, there are also numerous cases who failed. So, what could be the effect for both parties involved?

There are advantages and disadvantages of doing it. Let us not look only at the bright side, might as well, open your minds and see thoroughly the negative sides out of doing it, man or woman, emotional or non-emotional.

Well said Ekta..

[mark]

Since most of the men here are so-so in favor of pre-marital sex, and ask “Why wait for marriage to have sex”? Let me reciprocate your question and so, “Why need to have sex before marriage? What are the pleasures of having sex”?

Most people say "We need to experiment to see if we're sexually compatible, especially since marriage is such a big step." Some express it like this: "You try on a pair of shoes before you buy them!" The "try-before-you-buy" idea breaks down because the human plumbing system is very flexible and almost always works. Again, premarital sex can erode trust and communication. It's wiser to test your compatibility as persons. Even happily married couples often need several years to adjust sexually to each other.

Besides, sex can cloud the issue. Sex is not the key to love. Love is the key to sex. Couples who approach marriage thinking that "We're in love so it's OK to have sex" or "We'll use sex to determine if we're in love" may be sorely disappointed. They may discover that what they thought was love is only charged-up sex sensations. Waiting until marriage does not guarantee that you'll be emotionally compatible, but it does help create a less confusing environment in which to find out before you take the step of a marriage commitment.
Now, let us look at the negative effects a pre-marital sex can cause to women.

The emotional side effects of premarital sex are also damaging to a young woman. It's not uncommon for a girl to have sex in order to make a guy like her more, or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards because she's afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an emotional divorce takes place. A person's heart is not made to be that close to a person, and then separated. Since teenage sexual relationships rarely last, the girl's sense of self-worth is often damaged. Also, she sometimes concludes that if she looked better, he would have stayed longer. This mentality can lead to many disorders.

In her heart, a girl who has been used knows it. However, she may immediately jump into another sexual relationship to escape the hurt. If she tries to boost her self-esteem by giving guys what they want, then her self-worth often ends up depending upon those kinds of relationships. Her development as a woman is stunted, because without chastity she doesn't know how to express affection, appreciation, or attraction for a guy without implying something sexual. She may even conclude that a guy doesn't love her unless he makes sexual advances towards her. She knows that sex exists without intimacy, but she may forget that intimacy can exist without sex. A girl on this track usually feels accepted initially but that acceptance lasts only as long as the physical pleasure.

And though numerous couples who have tried pre-marital sex succeeded and ended up marrying each other, there are also numerous cases who failed. So, what could be the effect for both parties involved?

There are advantages and disadvantages of doing it. Let us not look only at the bright side, might as well, open your minds and see thoroughly the negative sides out of doing it, man or woman, emotional or non-emotional.

well said indeed. nobody is saying it's good for everyone, but don't condemn someone if they feel they have the emotional maturity to handle it.

Many millions of people have sex before marrage and don't come away emotionally scarred. i agree with you that it's not a bed of roses, but most people already realise this.

[CtrlAltDel]

those were good points Ekta...

...don't condemn someone if they feel they have the emotional maturity to handle it.
Many millions of people have sex before marrage and don't come away emotionally scarred.

all the talk of maturity n emotion is ok...but many have pre (or extra) marital sex out of that much condemned emotion called LUST....usually Lusty people do not have much post sex guilt, unless they have done something stupid like getting pregnant or being discovered!

[whats wrong]

ppl...are matured responsilbe and accountable for their actions so, if its not forced , nor rape then whats wrong.



We always thot, marriage is an institution where its not a matter of bodies getting together its two individuals heart to heart and sex is not the only thing in life.. If a person had truly loved a person sex no makes a difference.



How can people share their thoughts, their lives and their bodies when they dont love each other. They would have loved each other when they share their bodies. Marriage has become a legality for becoming a mother and father. If people have sex before marriage and never get married but have kids and still be in love with each other. PREMARTIAL SEX IS ABSOULTE FINE!!

[Sharjeel]

PREMARTIAL SEX IS ABSOULTE FINE!!

I'll get back to you when some one from your family is involved. No offense, but we all are fine with any form of stupidity (laughter clubs, golf, etc) as long as it does not harm us or anyone dear...

[Kavita]

Thanks marko, you have added head to my post.

And this plus many other reasons like, mean nature of few, dumbness, etc lead to supression of propagation of actual cause behind all the nasty and weired looking customs and traditions we follow. Any one over these boards, please be caucious before you talk loose about Indian culture. You are offending me by saying such baseless things. Start using ur common sense to make out the purpose. Try to probe what the vedas are about. You will be surprised to know vedas are not about God.

Kavita, while I agree that out ancestors may have had some sort of sound logic behind all those traditions and customs which fit very well with the society of their times, what logic justifies such practices in todays modern world?
Are we incapable of evolving our own customs that suit our modern needs? Why should we blindly ape our ancestors?
Every custom/tradition has a starting point, which means that at some point in the past, our ancestors thought that it was useless following the customs and traditions of their ancestors and started a new custom/tradition. We should emulate them and evolve according to our needs.
This doesnt necessarily mean that we should challenge every tradition. Change only those which donot fit the modern world or interfere with out day to day lives.

Why do arabic women wear Hijabs and why are those black in color? There is a sound reason behind that. The arab men needed to protect their women from other warring tribes who kidnap women , hence they used to cover their faces with Hijabs. Now, both men and women cover their entire body with black robe (men use black rugs) to protect themselves from scorching heat. If the hijab wasnt made a symbol of Islamic religion, how relevant do you think it is in todays organized 'air-conditioned' life? Same with rajput women who use ghoongat.

Whatever morals the vedas, bibles and Korans of the world are teaching would not change with time, but the societal beliefs, customs and traditions that got incorporated into religion over time got to change.

As mark put it, our society canged from extremely liberal society to conservative to a fundamentalist society. It's unique in a way that the rulers were from three different religions and cultures. We have assimilated all cultures to be what we are today.

Caves (forgot the name of the famous caves) - The society then in that place was devastated due to calamity (may be epidamic or war or somethig) and people lost happiness from their lives and looked gloomy. The s*x game being highest thiller and safer to life, the then King though would the best way to encourage to start living fun filled lives and order the making of this caves. Very similar to we coming up with theme parks. Thats how smart our kings were, they used to consider every aspect of live, not just this or that. Sincearity, loyality and purity were given very high importance.

I think you'd change your mind if you read the story of Kajhuraho temples.
And the bolded part is definitely not true.
Btw, do you realise that you are supporting sex as a form of entertainment, as something that gives you pleasure and makes you happy.

But I think society should be caucious, and should protect every ones interest. Some may not be ready for physical relationships out side marriage. But there are so many incidents happening around, minor raped and murded, etc etc. Society considers it a low. And this is misinterpreted AND there are quite many brutes around who drag (innocent, unwise) people into s*x rackets, etc. So society made a Generalised statement - s*x deprived of morals is bad.

I dunno how all this is related to my sexual choices I make and the marriage licence that society grants me to have sex.

All this time I was talking about society and culture but my personal opinion on s*x outside marriage, either before or after, is: its done by over enthuziastic less moraled people. Dont ask me why I think it is moral-less so, I did not figure it out yet, but I think It Is so.

Say a couple had sex and then married. Would they still be moral-less people. What is the difference between them and the people who had sex after marriage.
What about those who are married-divorced-married again? Clearly they had more than one partners (both licenced, ofcourse).... what about them?
What about all the people who post here on this board and in the society... the people around you. If I tell you that a certain X that you know off and respect is not a "virgin", will he/she suddenly become moral-less for you or the society?

Hey Mayavi, this is what the mistake some of us make. (I did this some time back). We stop probing mid way. I dont have any knowledge of the example you have quoted but I can surely say that, you need to rephrase your POV. You POV is very correct. But had it been me, I would have said, people malign the intentions of age old tradition because they cannot relate to or do not think its important to relate a particular custom to the then ear when it started. And just keep following as a habbit. May be they still use those rugs because they are habbituated to it. I think it gives them some kind of pscychological satisfaction by doing so, like 'yeah I am very true to my religioun/customs/tradition, and I follow them regularly without fail. God wont be angry with me' .. kind of funda.

Sincearity, loyality and purity were given very high importance

I do not agree with you on this. Ok I say, you can learn java Looking at a book' would you agree? I do not, and I am sure you too will not. But, probe in to a historic/mythical charecter called Ekalavya. He is famous for learning archiliary (i do not know whether it is correct word or not, but I mean the bow and arrow thing) just with a statue in front of him.
He just had the quest to learn it and excelled even Arjuna, who was actually taught by a real guru.

The main problem is, tales/morales have been passed to us by word most of the times. The documentation done on these is not available too easily and people end up with wrong conclusion sometimes.

In simple words the point I am trying to make is, have the quest to look whether the words in bold exist or not or how much importance they are given. I can give many examples but I leave it to you to look for.

Well, I do not know the story of Kajuraho temples but did you notice the word 'temple'. If really the story is so bad, why is it called a Temple?

Btw, do you realise that you are supporting sex as a form of entertainment, as something that gives you pleasure and makes you happy.

Oh No! You have got me Totally wrong. I AM a staunch opposer of s*x as entertainment. Only thing I am not against is relationship with mulitple people. May be I should have added this too to my post. By Multiple Relationships, I mean relationship with different people at different points of time with whom one is ginunely involved(atleast people involved should think they have true emotions towards each other).



Infact, I feel people involved in prostitution are some what better than those who think s*x is for entertainment. For one its profession for the ohter its fun. May be, this POV of mine may hurt others but THIS IS my POV. Still, I apologize to those who are hurt.

[Neutron Star]

To be frank I am against any form of physical relationship before marriage.

But if you are so keen on doing it then take complete responsibility for the future consquences.

[Great Atheist]

The whole "don't-do-it-before-marriage" thing is an age-old conspiracy, to withold the pleasurable things in life from people unless the follow the norms of society!



I agree with a lot of posters here in that marriage is not and should not be synonymous with "permission to have sex". Marriage as a social institution came into being so that children can have a secure and stable environment to grow up in. That is the end-all of it. Human children are very vulnerable at birth and take a long time to get to a stage where they can fend for themselves. As human lives get more and more complex, this takes more and more time. If there were no social support structures for young humans, the race would die out. This is why we have a norm of two parents, a provider and a nurturer.



Of course, the whole thing had to be packaged as the word of GOD(tm), so that the heathens would not think of it as an "optional" feature

The ages of religious and social conditioning have brought us to a point where people say it is "evil" to have pre-marital sex and that people who do are inferior to those who "save it for marriage". It's all quite ridiculous, really.



Be aware of the consequences, take the necessary precautions and go forth and enjoy!

[mark]

The whole "don't-do-it-before-marriage" thing is an age-old conspiracy, to withold the pleasurable things in life from people unless the follow the norms of society!

I agree with a lot of posters here in that marriage is not and should not be synonymous with "permission to have sex". Marriage as a social institution came into being so that children can have a secure and stable environment to grow up in. That is the end-all of it. Human children are very vulnerable at birth and take a long time to get to a stage where they can fend for themselves. As human lives get more and more complex, this takes more and more time. If there were no social support structures for young humans, the race would die out. This is why we have a norm of two parents, a provider and a nurturer.

Of course, the whole thing had to be packaged as the word of GOD(tm), so that the heathens would not think of it as an "optional" feature
The ages of religious and social conditioning have brought us to a point where people say it is "evil" to have pre-marital sex and that people who do are inferior to those who "save it for marriage". It's all quite ridiculous, really.

Be aware of the consequences, take the necessary precautions and go forth and enjoy!

you took the words right out of my medulla oblongatta.

[Sharjeel]

The whole "don't-do-it-before-marriage" thing is an age-old conspiracy, to withold the pleasurable things in life from people unless the follow the norms of society!

I agree with a lot of posters here in that marriage is not and should not be synonymous with "permission to have sex". Marriage as a social institution came into being so that children can have a secure and stable environment to grow up in. That is the end-all of it. Human children are very vulnerable at birth and take a long time to get to a stage where they can fend for themselves. As human lives get more and more complex, this takes more and more time. If there were no social support structures for young humans, the race would die out. This is why we have a norm of two parents, a provider and a nurturer.

Of course, the whole thing had to be packaged as the word of GOD(tm), so that the heathens would not think of it as an "optional" feature
The ages of religious and social conditioning have brought us to a point where people say it is "evil" to have pre-marital sex and that people who do are inferior to those who "save it for marriage". It's all quite ridiculous, really.

Be aware of the consequences, take the necessary precautions and go forth and enjoy!

Wow! Nice post.



This whole issue of declaring something taboo or evil is done so that the less intellegent people among us do not do anything that is bad for them. Pre-marital sex is wrought with risks. There are thousands of STDs; moral issues, etc, etc.



Instead of trying to explain these things to everyone, people just say that it is taboo, it is evil, etc...

[mark]

The whole "don't-do-it-before-marriage" thing is an age-old conspiracy, to withold the pleasurable things in life from people unless the follow the norms of society!

I agree with a lot of posters here in that marriage is not and should not be synonymous with "permission to have sex". Marriage as a social institution came into being so that children can have a secure and stable environment to grow up in. That is the end-all of it. Human children are very vulnerable at birth and take a long time to get to a stage where they can fend for themselves. As human lives get more and more complex, this takes more and more time. If there were no social support structures for young humans, the race would die out. This is why we have a norm of two parents, a provider and a nurturer.

Of course, the whole thing had to be packaged as the word of GOD(tm), so that the heathens would not think of it as an "optional" feature
The ages of religious and social conditioning have brought us to a point where people say it is "evil" to have pre-marital sex and that people who do are inferior to those who "save it for marriage". It's all quite ridiculous, really.

Be aware of the consequences, take the necessary precautions and go forth and enjoy!

Wow! Nice post.

This whole issue of declaring something taboo or evil is done so that the less intellegent people among us do not do anything that is bad for them. Pre-marital sex is wrought with risks. There are thousands of STDs; moral issues, etc, etc.

Instead of trying to explain these things to everyone, people just say that it is taboo, it is evil, etc...

the problem with that is that more intellegent people will question the status quo, stupid people will accept it. The risks of premarital sex are FAR overrated here and elsewhere. It never even occured to me that people still feel this way about it. All of my friends from the UK have been in some sort of serious relationship at some stage of their lives, none have gotten themselves or anyone else pregnent, caught any life threatning STD (none of em have died from them anyhow) or destroyed their lives in the doom and gloom way predicted here. I'm not denying that is possible for there to be very serious consequences from this, but coming from a society where i would say roughly 90% of people have sex before marrage, there are much larger social issues in Ireland and India today than this. Welcome to the board Great Athiest, that was the best first post i ever read.

[Sharjeel]

The whole "don't-do-it-before-marriage" thing is an age-old conspiracy, to withold the pleasurable things in life from people unless the follow the norms of society!

I agree with a lot of posters here in that marriage is not and should not be synonymous with "permission to have sex". Marriage as a social institution came into being so that children can have a secure and stable environment to grow up in. That is the end-all of it. Human children are very vulnerable at birth and take a long time to get to a stage where they can fend for themselves. As human lives get more and more complex, this takes more and more time. If there were no social support structures for young humans, the race would die out. This is why we have a norm of two parents, a provider and a nurturer.

Of course, the whole thing had to be packaged as the word of GOD(tm), so that the heathens would not think of it as an "optional" feature
The ages of religious and social conditioning have brought us to a point where people say it is "evil" to have pre-marital sex and that people who do are inferior to those who "save it for marriage". It's all quite ridiculous, really.

Be aware of the consequences, take the necessary precautions and go forth and enjoy!

Wow! Nice post.

This whole issue of declaring something taboo or evil is done so that the less intellegent people among us do not do anything that is bad for them. Pre-marital sex is wrought with risks. There are thousands of STDs; moral issues, etc, etc.

Instead of trying to explain these things to everyone, people just say that it is taboo, it is evil, etc...

All of my friends from the UK have been in some sort of serious relationship at some stage of their lives, none have gotten themselves or anyone else pregnent, caught any life threatning STD (none of em have died from them anyhow) or destroyed their lives in the doom and gloom way predicted here.

For a 100 or so intellegent people who act smart and have all the fun, there a million peole who will fall for someone, allow him/her to take advatage of themselves, and spend the rest of their lifes wallowing in self pity and depression.



Sex is over rated anyway. It is just a process by which we pas on our genes and multiply ourselves (or used to, before condoms and family planning).

[mark]

Sex is over rated anyway. It is just a process by which we pas on our genes and multiply ourselves (or used to, before condoms and family planning).

ah come on its good fun too. beats watching TV for timepass (ps jk nt to b tkn srsly)

[mark]

For a 100 or so intellegent people who act smart and have all the fun, there a million peole who will fall for someone, allow him/her to take advatage of themselves, and spend the rest of their lifes wallowing in self pity and depression.

Sherry being brought up in a society where premarital sex was the norm i can tell you this is not at all true. by your ratio only 1 in 10,000 people will have premarial sex and not be emotionally scarred by it. I have many friends back home, male and female, who are very open about their sex lives, and i've never come across anyone who has been scarred in the way you describe. i would say the ratio (where I come from) is more like 1 disaster case for ever 100 people.



Also in one of my previous relationships we abstained from sex, and we still managed to hurt each other quite a bit (emotional scarring is going too far, but we don't talk anymore) so i would say this is not just about sex, rather relationships in general

[Sharjeel]

For a 100 or so intellegent people who act smart and have all the fun, there a million peole who will fall for someone, allow him/her to take advatage of themselves, and spend the rest of their lifes wallowing in self pity and depression.

Sherry being brought up in a society where premarital sex was the norm i can tell you this is not at all true. by your ratio only 1 in 10,000 people will have premarial sex and not be emotionally scarred by it. I have many friends back home, male and female, who are very open about their sex lives, and i've never come across anyone who has been scarred in the way you describe. i would say the ratio (where I come from) is more like 1 disaster case for ever 100 people.

The type of society is the keyword here.Out of my friends, three had sex with their frends, and they all regret it. This is not the kind of society where you can just say "oh! he touched me, and now he is not so cool with me anymore". Hereaways, there will be a lot of thigs involved, even if you consider the metro-sexuals(or whatver). It is not about whether sex is accepted or not. It is more concerned with the fact that Indians are very 'touchy' about who touches them.

Also in one of my previous relationships we abstained from sex, and we still managed to hurt each other quite a bit (emotional scarring is going too far, but we don't talk anymore) so i would say this is not just about sex, rather relationships in general

absolutely right!

[lizard king]

the problem with that is that more intellegent people will question the status quo, stupid people will accept it. The risks of premarital sex are FAR overrated here and elsewhere. It never even occured to me that people still feel this way about it. All of my friends from the UK have been in some sort of serious relationship at some stage of their lives, none have gotten themselves or anyone else pregnent, caught any life threatning STD (none of em have died from them anyhow) or destroyed their lives in the doom and gloom way predicted here. I'm not denying that is possible for there to be very serious consequences from this, but coming from a society where i would say roughly 90% of people have sex before marrage, there are much larger social issues in Ireland and India today than this. Welcome to the board Great Athiest, that was the best first post i ever read.

u _ kidding me Mark? are nt the irish catholics supposed to be as conservative as an Indian when it cocmes to sex, kids and blashphemy?

[mark]

the problem with that is that more intellegent people will question the status quo, stupid people will accept it. The risks of premarital sex are FAR overrated here and elsewhere. It never even occured to me that people still feel this way about it. All of my friends from the UK have been in some sort of serious relationship at some stage of their lives, none have gotten themselves or anyone else pregnent, caught any life threatning STD (none of em have died from them anyhow) or destroyed their lives in the doom and gloom way predicted here. I'm not denying that is possible for there to be very serious consequences from this, but coming from a society where i would say roughly 90% of people have sex before marrage, there are much larger social issues in Ireland and India today than this. Welcome to the board Great Athiest, that was the best first post i ever read.

u _ kidding me Mark? are nt the irish catholics supposed to be as conservative as an Indian when it cocmes to sex, kids and blashphemy?

not my generation. even in my parents day they were at it like rabbits.

[lizard king]

the problem with that is that more intellegent people will question the status quo, stupid people will accept it. The risks of premarital sex are FAR overrated here and elsewhere. It never even occured to me that people still feel this way about it. All of my friends from the UK have been in some sort of serious relationship at some stage of their lives, none have gotten themselves or anyone else pregnent, caught any life threatning STD (none of em have died from them anyhow) or destroyed their lives in the doom and gloom way predicted here. I'm not denying that is possible for there to be very serious consequences from this, but coming from a society where i would say roughly 90% of people have sex before marrage, there are much larger social issues in Ireland and India today than this. Welcome to the board Great Athiest, that was the best first post i ever read.

u _ kidding me Mark? are nt the irish catholics supposed to be as conservative as an Indian when it cocmes to sex, kids and blashphemy?

not my generation. even in my parents day they were at it like rabbits.

could be, my assumptions are based on irish traveller s stories. And there are a lot of them out there, both stories and travellers.