Defeat Heartache!

[pete]

Dedicated to all those guys n girls who experienced heart-breaks at some point in their lives. Ways to overcome this miserable pain are many, but the best healer is time.

This is an open forum where you can jot in your thoughts, inputs and ideas. Not intended to dig your past in any way, but if visiting this post made you nostalgic, I apologize in advance.

[Habitual Perfectionist]

Dedicated to all those guys n girls who experienced heart-breaks at some point in their lives. Ways to overcome this miserable pain are many, but the best healer is time.
This is an open forum where you can jot in your thoughts, inputs and ideas. Not intended to dig your past in any way, but if visiting this post made you nostalgic, I apologize in advance.

Time surely is a big healer. My heartbreak was quite tough on me when it happened but now, when I look back at it, it's nothing but sweet memories.

[The Jackal]

Dedicated to all those guys n girls who experienced heart-breaks at some point in their lives. Ways to overcome this miserable pain are many, but the best healer is time.
This is an open forum where you can jot in your thoughts, inputs and ideas. Not intended to dig your past in any way, but if visiting this post made you nostalgic, I apologize in advance.

Time surely is a big healer. My heartbreak was quite tough on me when it happened but now, when I look back at it, it's nothing but sweet memories.

Same here man.

[HH]

Umar Diyaa Haath
Kamar Kiya Baat
Dil Ko Do Goli
Head Ko Dekhnaa Baraabar

HEADACHE Kaiku Lenaaa ... Cool Cool Rakhnaa!

[akhilis2cool]

Dedicated to all those guys n girls who experienced heart-breaks at some point in their lives. Ways to overcome this miserable pain are many, but the best healer is time.
This is an open forum where you can jot in your thoughts, inputs and ideas. Not intended to dig your past in any way, but if visiting this post made you nostalgic, I apologize in advance.

Time surely is a big healer. My heartbreak was quite tough on me when it happened but now, when I look back at it, it's nothing but sweet memories.

Same here man.

I've not had one yet.

shd. i feel good or bad abt it

[CtrlAltDel]

IMO, life's no fun without atleast one heart break. its an experience everyone has to pass thru....we come out a better and stronger person after that...and more experienced too...

[funkydude]

I think heartbreak is something you allow yourself to go though, rather than something that happens to you. Its plain masochism/self-pity. Before you love someone that much, you need to know there's a life beyond him/her.



Why cry over losing something that wasn't really yours to begin with ?

[black wizard]

The Black Wizard was here....

[Habitual Perfectionist]

I think heartbreak is something you allow yourself to go though, rather than something that happens to you. Its plain masochism/self-pity. Before you love someone that much, you need to know there's a life beyond him/her.

Why cry over losing something that wasn't really yours to begin with ?

You're mistaking the extreme for the entire spectrum boyo.

[lizard king]

The Black Wizard was here....

for how long?

[daisy]

I've not had one yet.
shd. i feel good or bad abt it

same here and same confusion, is it good or bad

[Sharjeel]

I've not had one yet.
shd. i feel good or bad abt it

same here and same confusion, is it good or bad

Ditto...

[daisy]

shall we start a club? you, me and akhil. anyone else like to join?

and what shall we name the club

[Sharjeel]

Amen!



Since it is your suggestion, you get to name the club

[daisy]

yeah we will start the club tomorrow, i will think of a name. we can discuss why we didnt get a heartbreak and what to do fo that i guess mark can join us as well.

[Sharjeel]

Cheers!

[Portuguese Man-Of-War]

IMO, life's no fun without atleast one heart break. its an experience everyone has to pass thru....we come out a better and stronger person after that...and more experienced too...

It's easy to say that some intense suffering was good for you long after it happened and you're over it. Something that's happened to you in the past and doesn't affect you now, is technically the same in impact on you as something that's happening to someone else and not to you. The question is, would you volunteer to go through it again?



And if you had the power to eliminate that misery from the life of someone who is undergoing it currently, would you do it, or would you let him go through it since it'll make him stronger?



I don't think you should wish for intense suffering to make you a stronger man. I think you should wish for the wisdom to enter and handle relationships wisely. The best way to find out that coming under a lorry can cripple you is not by coming under a lorry.



I think a heartbreak is like a patch of grease on your favorite white shirt. It'll keep fading, but you'd always wish the shirt had been without that patch.

[CtrlAltDel]

It's easy to say that some intense suffering was good for you long after it happened and you're over it. Something that's happened to you in the past and doesn't affect you now, is technically the same in impact on you as something that's happening to someone else and not to you. The question is, would you volunteer to go through it again?

And if you had the power to eliminate that misery from the life of someone who is undergoing it currently, would you do it, or would you let him go through it since it'll make him stronger?

I don't think you should wish for intense suffering to make you a stronger man. I think you should wish for the wisdom to enter and handle relationships wisely. The best way to find out that coming under a lorry can cripple you is not by coming under a lorry.

I think a heartbreak is like a patch of grease on your favorite white shirt. It'll keep fading, but you'd always wish the shirt had been without that patch.

:)



u r an idealist arent u? the heartbreak v r talking abt here is an unavoidable part of growing up. the only way to avoid it is not to get into these matters at all and that IMO is escapist.



the best way to cure someone's heartbreak is to convince that person that its no big deal. it happened. so what? its not the end of the world. now the 'victim' knows how to avoid it in future.



personally i have been thru a few heartbreaks myself in the past...and while they were shitty to go thru, once i get out of each, i cud look back at it as a learning experience.



heartbreak is no big issue and its foolish to compare it with accidents etc.

[Portuguese Man-Of-War]

:)

u r an idealist arent u? the heartbreak v r talking abt here is an unavoidable part of growing up. the only way to avoid it is not to get into these matters at all and that IMO is escapist.

the best way to cure someone's heartbreak is to convince that person that its no big deal. it happened. so what? its not the end of the world. now the 'victim' knows how to avoid it in future.

personally i have been thru a few heartbreaks myself in the past...and while they were shitty to go thru, once i get out of each, i cud look back at it as a learning experience.

heartbreak is no big issue and its foolish to compare it with accidents etc.

Okay, I guess I am being idealist.

I once read about a survey that ranked the greatest tragedies in a human's life. It was something like this:

1. Breakup/Divorce
2. Death of someone close / someone in the family
3. Loss of job
...and more that I do not remember.

What I have never understood, though, is how people get a lot of education as they grow up on good eating habits, road safety, morals, etiquette and even sex, but nothing on handling emotional romantic relationships, which can, by popular knowledge and even structured studies such as the one above, cause a lot of distress, in several cases leading to chronic depression, attitude problems, and even suicide.

Why is it not a part of any curriculum? Why do people have to discover for themselves, by accident, how potentially disastrous they can be? And then learn to cope all by themselves since many are too embarrassed to talk about it and thereby know the best ways of dealing with it?

Why isn't there a whole course on this in like Std IX? That way, people get the first fundas without having to burn their fingers once, like you said should happen. After that, they'll be careful, know the potential consequences, and be prepared. They'll also know that it happens to everyone, and that people come out just fine.

I have seen too many people in their 20s turning desolate over failed affairs, taking months if not years to get over them. It doesn't appear fair to ignore such a big problem that seems to affect almost every human being (at least in my sample) at some stage.

General questions - not your fault .

To answer your statement:

the best way to cure someone's heartbreak is to convince that person that its no big deal. it happened. so what? its not the end of the world.

It doesn't help much. First, far fewer people talk than don't, so we don't even know. Then, it's like telling someone who's just been stabbed that the pain will go away. Maybe it will, but it's currently hurting bad, right?

The better way is if the person had handled the whole thing better, through counselling/education, and things didn't come to this stage, and even if things didn't work out, he/she wasn't caught unawares by the consequences.

personally i have been thru a few heartbreaks myself in the past...and while they were shitty to go thru, once i get out of each, i cud look back at it as a learning experience.

High-priced education .

heartbreak is no big issue and its foolish to compare it with accidents etc.

For you, maybe. I know people who've shot themselves in the head. I also know that your telling them this wouldn't have stopped them.

[Red Combat]

I had a heartbreak, just a year ago. Today, I wish I had not started that relationship at all. They say Past is Past, forget and move on. But, sometimes it comes back to you and makes you feel so bad.



Normal Distribution says its normal to have both ups and downs as part of your days, so its fine.

[Betty]

Heartbreak is one of the many experiences one has in life, not having one is like not sampling an item which was there on the menu of life...

Having said that, it is not 'necessary' in the strictest sense of the term....it is not as necessary as having your polio shots when you were a kid or giving birth to a baby to feel how wonderful motherhood can be...



As CAD pointed out, it is a learning experience and as POW replied, it is a 'hig-priced education'...yet, you just cannot decide for others whether they shd have a heartbreak or avoid it, because though these things are not accidents, you don't choose these things, they 'happen' to you. The only way you can avoid it is to make sure you don't let yourself be in love with anyone and don't expect anything in a relationship, which would be unnatural....

In the same way, you cannot put someone out of the misery of heartbreak, the only effort you can make is that of helping the person regain his/her confidence in him/herself and realtionships...asking someone to 'move on' might make him retaliate by saying that it was not such a small thing to be forgotten so easily...

Heartbreak can be stregthening or weakening, depending on how you get through it...you come out stronger or it erodes your confidence and you drown in self-pity.

Maybe I am an optimist, but personally I feel it is a small price one pays for getting to know another human being, which is a wonderful experience...even if that human being doesn't live up to our expectations later...

[mark]

yeah, life is a rollercoaster, lots of ups and downs. if you try to flatten it out and make it a walk in the park you may miss out on the downs but you'll miss the ups as well. plenty time for flatlining when you're dead.

[rock_26iin]

Reminds me of a quote I read yesterday, "Stop looking forward to the day when you stop suffering, because when it comes, you'll know you're dead"



So, suffering is just part and parcel of life, you have to learn to accept it. I know its easier said than done but you gotta do what you gotta do. Who knows? Maybe even if they were taught how to handle relationships, they would still commit suicide, because of the pain they feel at that instant. Time is the biggest healer, nothing else, and if you don't give yourself enough time, then you can never see the magic of healing



Hey mark, just read The Walrus & The Carpenter a couple of days ago. Lewis

Carroll, if my memory serves me right? Nice one.

[4thDimension]

seems like almost everyone has been thru this stage some time or the other...



i dont know about tyour experiences but, i've had 4. the first two, it was ok - i could get over them comparitively easily as i did not even get the chance to propose. i was too late. i dont think you can exactly call that heartbreak...



but the last two were horrible... more so because they happened at the same time. i liked two of them more than anyone else and gave them everything. i could not decide who i had to go with as they were both very close friends for whom I had developed feelings. and then, both of them left me at the same time leaving me devastated. i spent many days alone struggling with myself. convincing myself that this didnt mean anythin and that i'd get over it. it didnt happen. i would frequently go back into depression. i always wanted to be alone. an one day, one of them came back to me. she gave me a fresh lease of life. i'm happy with her now.



but, still that day when they left me in the middle nowhere haunts me. i haven't slept a single night without thinking about that horrible day. i too strongly believe that TIME HEALS. but this time, its really taking forever...!!!

[daisy]

4D,2 girls at the same time

i dont understand how can you like 2 at the same time same way

anyways sorry for your heartache and happy that you got one of them back.